Mission Hill (1999–2002)
Andy French: Drinking shows a real commitment to becoming a cooler person.
Kevin French: Can you buy something here for me? I want to have something to drink at the party.
Andy French: Sure.
[Kevin grabs a bottle]
Andy French: That's hair gel.
Andy French: That's shampoo.
Andy French: That's mouthwash.
[Andy is eating cereal]
Kevin French: How can I think with that awful racket blaring from your mouth? It sounds like a gorilla eating a log cabin!
Kevin French: I hope you're not like this during the parent/teacher interviews.
Andy French: Hello! Andy French. Couldn't care less about your future.
Kevin French: Mom and Dad said you have to do everything that they do.
Andy French: You don't live with Mom and Dad any more. I paid the electricity bill and I don't get a present.
[lights begin to flicker on and off]
Kevin French: Mom and Dad would like to talk to you.
Andy French: Hi, Mom!
Mrs. French: Andy. What's this I hear about you emotionally abusing Kevin?
Andy French: Mom! I can't go changing my life just because Kevin is here. I have plans.
Kevin French: Mom! Andy's sitting on the couch drinking with Jim.
Jim Kuback: Hi, Mrs. F.
Kevin French: [while drinking] History is full of great homos. Oscar Wilde was a homo. Alexander the Great was a homo. You know who else is a great homo? You are, you big homo!
Gus: [Grabs Kevin's collar] That is a mean and hurtful term. Please stop using it, or I will be forced to clobber you.
Andy French: And don't think we forgot about you, Stogie!
[dumps contents of can with Cyrillic writing into food dish]
Kevin French: Andy, are you sure this is dog food?
Andy French: Well, it has a picture of a dog on it.
[Stogie sniffs food and backs away, whimpering]
Kevin French: Andy, you did it. You won back your self-respect.
Andy French: Which will last until tomorrow morning when I'm begging Ron for my job back.
[Andy and Kevin are having dinner with Kevin's "girlfriend," Eunice "Weirdie" Eulmeyer"]
Andy French: Pass me the beans, Weirdie.
Kevin French: What did you say?
Andy French: [stammering] Uh... I meant "Where de beans at, Weirdie? ...uh, beans at, Weirdie? ...beans at, Weirdie? ...beans at, Weirdie? ...beans at, Weirdie?" Help me...