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Small Time Crooks (2000) Poster

Quotes

Ray: Ever heard of the Polish carpool? Every day they meet at work.

Officer Ken Deloach: Hey, you're new here, huh?

May Sloane: Not really. This is my first day.

Ray: Your cousin May is dumb like a horse, or a dog or something.

Ray: Remember my nickname when we were in the joint?

Benny: The Brain?

Ray: The Brain. That's what the guys used to call me, right?

Benny: But, Ray! That was sarcastic!

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Benny: You know what I say? She gets a share, but not a full share.

Tommy: I'd go for that. Yeah.

Denny: Yeah, what if we each get a fourth and she gets, like, a third?

Benny: What are you? Nuts? Then she'd be getting more than us!

Denny: How do you figure?

Benny: Where are you gonna get four fourths and a third? Can't you add?

Denny: I don't do fractions, all right?

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Ray: What the hell are you gonna do with a flower shop?

Benny: Burn it down.

Ray: What do you mean, "burn it down"? You're still burning stuff down for insurance?

Benny: I burn everything. That's how I sent two kids through college.

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Frenchy: Well, I wanna be the real thing! And you better wise up, 'cause if I grow and you stay as stupid as you are, we're gonna have big problems, Ray!

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Ray: Yeah! But no museums, 'cause I'm not going to museums. The pictures spook me out... the virgins...

Frenchy: [Frenchy laughs hysterically] Ha ha ha! Spooked by the virgins! Ha ha ha! Sorry...

Ray: Work on the laugh, Frenchy!

[Frenchy laughs again, snorts, then stops]

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Frenchy: Well I wanna be the real thing! and you better wise up coz if grow and you stay as stupid as you are we're gonna have big problems Ray!

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Ray: What are you, a stroke victim?

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[Frenchy learns her accountants have looted all her assets]

Frenchy: This is the worst news...

Frenchy's Lawyer: Oh, no. No, Mrs. Winkler, it's not.

Frenchy: No? Well, it is to me!

Frenchy's Lawyer: No, the worst news is coming up.

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Frenchy: [on her company's expansion] That's right, yeah. We've been planning it for months. Yeah?

Frenchy's Lawyer: In order to do that, you needed a bank loan. Are you aware of that? Quite a substantial loan.

Frenchy: Get to the point. What.

Frenchy's Lawyer: They asked you to sign a promissory note to the bank.

Frenchy: You're speaking to the wrong person. This is exactly what I got accountants for.

Frenchy's Lawyer: Yes, but unfortunately, your accountants are in Venezuela.

Frenchy: This is all so confusing!

Frenchy's Lawyer: Frances, you put up your home and savings as a note for a monster loan.

Frenchy: [pauses, then holds out her whiskey glass] Could you put a touch of cyanide in here? It needs to be a little stronger.

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Frenchy's Lawyer: You've lost it all, Frenchy. Or should I say, you've been swindled out of it all.

Frenchy: You mean I got...?

Frenchy's Lawyer: Nothing, Mrs. Winkler. You have nothing. No... no house, no bank account, just a couple of large, outstanding loans which we feel you can best deal with by filing for bankruptcy.

Frenchy: Bankruptcy? Bankruptcy? I'm not up to the B-words yet!

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Denny: Ray really is a genius, Frenchy.

Frenchy: Compared to you, this chair is a genius, Denny.

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Frenchy: Don't jump! You're too valuable as a dishwasher.

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Frenchy: What are you waiting for, the drilling season?

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Ray: It's Louie the 14th, or Louie the 15th. I don't know how high the Louie's go, actually.

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Frenchy: All right, all right, hold your water.

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Frenchy: They say I have a flare for decorating. Watch this, the carpet lights up. Steven, what's with the snails?

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Frenchy: What'd ya talk about over dinner, cartoons?

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May Sloane: Do either of you play miniature golf?

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May Sloane: Then the lights begin to flash. Little pinpoints of light. Then my tongue turns black and I can't swallow.

Dr. Henske: Really?

May Sloane: The diagnosis is Parkinson's, but they think it could be the Ebola virus, or mad cow disease.

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