- Schwang Schwing: We have a saying here on Swizzle Firma: "Two little, too late."
- Max: Not if I can help it!
- Jim Dandy Computer: [Dr. Hawkins has accidentally pulled a lever that causes a door to open, sucking out all the air of the ship] Oh, great Doctor. Now you've done it.
- Schwang Schwing: [referring to the Ultimate Doomsday Device] The Device is already set. Your Earth will be a smoking cinder. Whaddaya gonna do about *that*, fleabag?
- Max: Well, how about I do the other leg for starters!
- Huge Energy Ball: Welcome to my lair, you insignificant worm. Prepare for a *shocking* encounter.
- Max: Warranty's up, Sparky!
- Max: You invaded Earth for your own amusement? You - pompous - sea - monkey!
- Emperor Sizzy Ballooba: Mild amusement. Don't start getting an ego. But the game is over. Thanks for playing.
- Schwang Schwing: [after knocking Max unconscious] Bad doggie. Ha ha ha.
- Conehead #1: You see, we don't need to actually GO to the planet. With the Ultimate Doomsday Device, you just press a button, it slips through streamspace and WHAM!
- Conehead #2: Hee hee hee hee hee. WHAM?
- Conehead #1: WHAM! No more Earth!
- Conehead #2: Hee hee hee hee hee hee hee!
- Conehead #1: G-Lab has one ready to launch. It's all over but the aiming.
- Max: [snarling, pulling his gun] This is NOT going well at ALL!
- Balloons for Brains: You need a good swat with a rolled-up newspaper, you little mongrel!
- Max: Paper training's over, fat head!
- Balloons for Brains: Your bad master bred a bad doggie. Now allow me to demonstrate who the master is!
- Balloons for Brains: [BFB sends down a huge robodog, Max gasps]
- Balloons for Brains: Now, play nice with the other doggie!
- Max: [on the phone] Doctor. Max here.
- Dr. Hawkins: MAX? Oooh, who's my puppy wuppy dingy doggy?
- Max: Uh, Doctor, please, come on, unsecured line.
- Dr. Hawkins: Uh, yes. Um, report.
- Max: Mission complete. Deployment speed lacking. Must grease pelvis. Heh heh. Friction is distracting.
- Dr. Hawkins: That's a good boy, Max. You get a special treat when you come home. Now find Kurt and I'll get you both back!
- Kurt: [on the phone] Doctor? I've got Max here. Teleport from out location.
- Conehead: [mimicking the Doc] Who's my puppy wuppy dingy doggy?
- Kurt: Uh... Doc?
- Conehead: [mimicking] Turn around, you fool! Hee hee hee hee hee hee hee!
- Kurt: [to Max] Great. They've got the Doc.
- Schwang Schwing: [laughs diabolically] This bird's gonna fly, suckas!