The army of the Marauders, led by by King Terak and the witch Charal attack the Ewoks village. The parents and the brother of Cindel all die in this attack. Cindel and the Ewok Wicket ... See full summary »
C-3PO and R2-D2 are on their way to Biitu to meet their new master, Mungo Baobab, when their ship is attacked and they are taken prisoner. Biitu has been taken over by the giant mechanical ... See full summary »
Clive A. Smith
Long John Baldry,
Video Brinquedo brings us a cheap rip-off of Kung Fu Panda. A panda named Pancada who works at a boxing club wishes to become a dancer, but gets caught up in an upcoming fight due to a case of mistaken identity.
Morag the Tulga Witch seeks revenge on her old enemy Logray, shaman of the Ewoks, who holds the magic Sunstar while she possesses it's darker half, the Shadowstone. The Witch unleashes her ... See full summary »
Artoo, Threepio and a broken down android are traded into the hands of young miner Jann Tosh. The android turns out to be an alien with amnesia and a price on his head. It is in fact Mon ... See full summary »
It is Life Day, a holiday that is celebrated on Chewbacca's home planet Kashyyyk. Chewie and Han Solo are trying to get to the planet where Chewie's family is waiting for him, but the Empire is out searching for the Rebels, giving everyone a hard time. While we are waiting we get a look at the everyday life of a Wookiee family. We meet all the familiar characters from Star Wars: Episode IV - A New Hope (1977) and we are introduced to Boba Fett during a short cartoon. We also pay a visit to the Cantina and meet all the monsters again. Written by
I have made contact with the rebels and all is proceeding as you wished, Darth Vader.
Good work, but I want them alive. Now that you've got their trust - maybe they will take you to their new base.
This time we will get them all.
I see why they call you the best bounty hunter in the galaxy.
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OK, if you are reading this, you have probably already heard about the nightmarish details of this film. Carrie Fisher sings, badly, an "inspirational" version of the Star Wars theme. Art Carney shows way too much skin. Mark Hammill looks like a drag queen, and Harrison Ford looks like he was dragged on set against his will by a gang of thugs.
The "musical numbers" are bizarre, irrelevant, and bear no resemblance to anything else. I think I speak for everyone when I say that I hope that mysterious orifice on the top of Harvey Korman's head has one, and only one, use.
But, gentle reader, I do not criticize the painful individual moments of this disaster, no matter how many there are. I do not even criticize the fact that Wookies are made to look like either obnoxious twits or creepy perverts. No, I want to talk about pacing, or in this work's case, p-a-c-i-n-g...
Taken as a whole, there was about enough plot here for a 30 minute network special. But, that would not be long enough. So, the viewer gets 20 minutes of wookie-speak, which goes nowhere. And dance numbers, which go nowhere... And Bea Arthur singing, which might go somewhere we don't want to know about... The fact is, amazingly little happens during this thing's excruciatingly long running time.
Having a martini handy is a must. Just do not drink every time you get bored.
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