Snails:
I got a new name for "dumb": "Ridley"! This is the Ridleyest thing I've ever heard!
[
while scaling the towers of the magic school, to Ridley]
Snails:
Why don't we just rob God while we up here.
Snails:
I thought you said this was gonna be easy.
Ridley:
No, I said it wasn't impossible.
Snails:
See, that's the same thing you said when we robbed that little halfling's house.
[
Ridley begins mouthing in time as Snails says;]
Snails:
And who'd he catch? Me. And who'd he beat from the waist down? Me.
Ridley:
Are you gonna jump?
Snails:
You gonna catch me?
Ridley:
I'm gonna catch you.
Snails:
Promise?
Ridley:
I promise. Now jump.
Snails:
All right.
[
There is a noise off to the side and Ridley turns around as Snails screams then falls to the ground]
Ridley:
Sorry. I though I heard something.
Snails:
You did. Me hitting the ground.
Snails:
She must've put some kinda holding spell into that bracelet.
Ridley:
Yeah, must be the only way she can get guys to come home with her.
Marina Pretensa:
I'd have to put a feeble mind spell on myself to want to take *you* home.
Snails:
That was funny.
Marina Pretensa:
You're going to the city dungeon.
Snails:
That wasn't.
Ridley:
Yeah well, have you ever heard of honor amongst thieves? We might live outside the law but we respect each other.
[
Ridley has just completed a deadly maze and retrieved the Eye of the Dragon]
Xilus:
So, why don't you give me what's rightfully mine? Hmm?
Ridley:
What about honor amongst thieves?
Xilus:
[
Xilus laughs] Oh, what a romantic notion. Do you honestly believe that I could've amassed the wealth that I have if I worried about honor? Ooh, no, no, no, no, no, tsk, tsk, tsk, tsk, tsk, tsk, tsk. So, pretty boy, if you don't want Hugo here to come rearrange your features for you, I suggest you just give it up.
Elwood:
If I ain't drinking, you sure ain't shopping.
Ridley:
We gotta save Marina.
Snails:
Wait. What about the dwarf?
Ridley:
You get the dwarf. I'll get the girl.
Snails:
Wait, how come I always gotta get the dwarf?
Norda:
How old are you?
Snails:
Twenty-three. Yeah, I know I'm a little young for you, but what if I get my hands on an aging potion, huh? I'll sacrifice a couple of years for you.
Norda:
I'm two hundred and thirty-four.
[
to Damodar during a sword fight]
Ridley:
Oh look, I've cut you. What a shame.
Damodar:
Just like you thieves, always taking things that don't belong to you.
Marina:
I'm an aristocrat! A mage!
Ridley:
A low level mage; completely expendable...
Profion:
Not so talented eh, Mr Ridley!
[
Ridley recites an incantation, hoping to decode a scroll]
Ridley:
Alanor, salah, bedara!
[
Nothing happens. Hands scroll to Marina]
Ridley:
Can't blame me for trying. At least I...
[
Ridley is sucked into the map]
Snails:
Woo hoo! See that there? I knew that boy had talent!
Elwood:
The problem with elves is they ain't got no meat on their bones. You gotta get yourself a nice 250 pound dwarf, with hair on her chin you can hang on to! Ah, ah, ah!
Empress Savina:
[
after giving a long speech adressing the council] Know one thing... I am not afraid.
Profion:
Let their blood rain from the sky!
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