Nick is a struggling dentist in Canada. A new neighbor moves in, and he discovers that it is Jimmy "The Tulip" Teduski. His wife convinces him to go to Chicago and inform the mob boss who wants Jimmy dead.
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Oz is a Montréal dentist, paying off debts so he can divorce his wife: the dislike is mutual. When she learns their new neighbor is hit man Jimmy the Tulip, with a price on his head, she sends Oz to Chicago to earn a finder's fee telling Mob boss Yanni where to find Jimmy. To get his wife off his back, Oz goes, his assistant Jill urging him to get laid while there. One of Yanni's men awaits Oz at the hotel; Oz's now in too deep to avoid telling Yanni what he knows. Meanwhile, Oz's wife rats on Oz to Jimmy, hoping Jimmy will kill Oz and she can cash in on life insurance. Oz meets Jimmy's wife (Yanni's captive), flips for her, and the double-crosses mount. Even Jill isn't whom she seems. Written by
Bruce Willis tried to contact Matthew Perry to get him to take part in the film while, unbeknownst to him, Perry was on vacation. After a few weeks of trying to get hold of him, Willis left the famous line, "I will chop off your legs, set fire to your house, and watch you drag..." on Perry's answer machine. They thought it was so funny that they included it on the film. See more »
When Frankie Figs and Oz meet up with Jimmy in the hotel room, Frankie hugs Jimmy and he does NOT have his sunglasses on, the camera shows a different angle of the hug, and then when they return to his face, he DOES have them ON again. See more »
Leanna McOemmecon is listed in the credits as the stand in for Rosanna Arquette, when it should read Leanna McLennan. (I worked as a stand in for Rosanna Arquette while filming in Quebec. The correct spelling of my name is Leanna McLennan. Each day, my name would be spelled differently on the call sheet - McLean, etc. Each day, I would correct it. In the end, I am listed in the credits as Leanna McOemmecon, which I find quite amusing.) See more »
THE WHOLE NINE YARDS (2000) ** Matthew Perry, Bruce Willis, Natasha Henstridge, Amanda Peet, Michael Clarke Duncan, Rosanna Arquette, Kevin Pollak, Harlan Williams.
Matthew Perry is one of my favorite comedic actors in that he's kind of a throwback to the light comedy fare of Jack Lemmon and Tom Hanks: handsome, charming and an utter neurotic mess with a sharp self-deprecating wit with his nonchalant sarcastic jibing that is all play and totally harmless, with a twist of slapstick. Here all of that is on display with a finely tuned tailor made character not unlike his tv alter ego, Chandler Bing (love that name!) from `Friends'.
Oz Oseransky is a mild-mannered affable dentist whose life is in flux when his trampy French accented wife Sophie (Arquette in full blown voluptuosness) decides she wants to end their marriage. But not by the usual traditional method of divorce or anulment; instead she takes out a contract on his life Enter newly arrived next-door-neighbor Jimmy `The Tulip' Tudeski (Willis in barely restrained comic form) a hitman keeping it low since there's a contract on him by a really ticked off Russian thug (Pollak oozing Eurotrash unctuousness). But when Oz's wife approaches him he is hard-pressed to do what comes natural since Oz turns out to be the good neighbor he never had and an unlikely ally as things progress in the plotline that eventually involves Jimmy's estranged, va-va-va voom wife Cynthia (Henstridge, best known as the sexy alien in the `Species' sci-fi flicks) who wants a divorce but knows that it's more likely a hit would be necessary.
Meanwhile Oz is struck by love at first sight when he meets Mrs. Jimmy and winds up bedding her (in spite of the fact he knows who Jimmy is after some hilarious reaction shots as the story moves on with each new trickle of information on his new `friend'), which only complicates things when Jimmy announces he is going to `whack' her and Janni, the mad Russian.
Perry is a marvelous reactionary actor and plays very well off a unique ensemble including the babelicious Peet as Jill, his receptionist- turned - assassin - wannabe , who has a knack for displaying her natural assets to dissuade any potential violent threat and Duncan (recently nominated for a Best Supporting Actor as the gentle giant in `The Green Mile') has a sweet low-key turn as the hulking pal of Willis who provides some funny sight gags (including his first meeting with Perry who literally bounces off this wall of a man).
Yet no matter how game the cast is - including off the wall comic Harland Williams as another seedy character who doesn't appear to be who he claims to be - and the fast pace of the storyline, there aren't that many memorable lines of dialogue or full grasp that a lethal killer like Jimmy actually has a heart of gold for the likes of a schnook like Oz.
It would be easy to blame the less than compelling story line on screenwriter Mitchell Kapner (who gives an original spin on a plot twist and complex scenario involving dental records and a corpse) or director Jonathan Lynn (`My Cousin Vinny'), but both make the best overall. It just isn't a fresh idea (think of `The In-Laws' which set the high water mark for odd couple/fish-out-of-water hybrid with a criminal element) that seems to hook the attention of a much needed audience. But it is divertingly fun just to see Perry slamming himself silly like a pinball.
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