The following is a review of the unrated 99-minute version of Inside Club Wild Side (1998). This title has been rated on the basis of how well a Skinemax movie it is and not in comparison to other genres.
Joe's penis is humongous. Joe is played by Mystique Films' regular, Jason Schnuit. Every time a woman takes off his pants in this movie they take one look at the hunk's massive bulge and ogle it, with mouth agape. It's a running gag. There's even a risqué moment where Joe's jumbo sausage is exposed for the camera (which is quite rare and daring for a softcore production).
Joe is a limner, with artistic aspirations. He wants to make it either in the art world as a professional etcher or in the film world as a director (despite his not even being able to properly operate a cam-corder). Now, if there's anyone who doesn't look the least bit artistic, it's this guy. The dude speaks in a bit of a dumb-sounding drawl and wears a goofy-looking cowboy hat. Oh, well. Joe loves his paints and brushes, though is lacking in practical, worldly ambition. Because of this, his girlfriend, Susan, in the opening sequence, breaks it off with him, tired of dealing with his ivory tower-bound, aimless existence, regardless of the fact that Joe's a great lay ... and has a gigantic attachment.
One night as Joe is parked somewhere in Hollywood he comes to the rescue of a woman named Tina (Brande Roderick), fending off the beauty's mugger. Appreciative of her hero's intervention, this complete stranger invites the enormous dreamboat back to her bachelorette mansion for a grilled-cheese sandwich ... among other filling.
Following this one-night stand Joe becomes fond of Tina, and sees in her a potential sweetheart, but Tina makes it clear that she's not interested in a relationship. "I like having sex without all the complications," she tells Joe matter-of-factly. Although, Tina does offer the lady-killer a place to crash and Joe moves in as her roommate. The two become sex pals, nothing more. Which brings us to the movie's funniest few lines, spoken by Joe: "I'm not quite used to having a girlfriend. I mean, a girl who's a friend. Well, a friend who's a girl, that I'm sleeping with, and I live with, who's not a girlfriend. It's so complicated."
Joe finds out that Tina works as an "actress" in a sex club, goes to snoop one day, and one thing leads to another namely, Joe becoming a part-time bartender there, much to Tina's chagrin.
The winnowed moments calculated: There are 8 sex scenes (all M/F), 3 of which take place inside the club as stage acts. No, this is not a strip-joint. Patrons come here to watch a man and a woman get it on.
Monique Parent, here with dyed reddish hair, plays Alex, the club's madam-like owner, who watches over her girls. She regards Joe as nothing but a slab of beefcake. After lassoing him, she throws him on her bed and begins riding him like a bull, as if it were the rodeo. Another woman chains Joe to a table and slaps the hefty heartthrob with a whip, as if to suggest subjugation. This is indeed one common element within the erotic thriller (and, as I see it, occasional softcore feature): As author Nina Martin notes, it is usually the women who are in control, on top, empowered, and, at times, emasculating.
Most of the movie takes place inside the club, which is teeming with attractive female flesh. We rarely venture anywhere else but the club or Tina's sprawling estate, which, by the way, the viewer is made to wonder: How does an actress of this kind afford such a magnificent showplace?
As for the sex scenes, Inside Club Wild Side contains one of my all-time favorites. To begin with, the voluptuous, fairhaired Brande Roderick, when we first meet her character, is all dolled up, sporting a sculptured coiffure, and looking as pretty as a princess. The leisurely sex scene takes place in a large bubble bath, surrounded by candles. Is there a more sexy setting than that? The lovemaking here is sensuous, affectionate, with the naturally bosomy Roderick and her silky legs lathered in fragrant suds, and emitting a twinkle in the eyes. This woman embodies femininity like no other Eros actress does! I love the expression on Brande's face as her character enters Joe. This scene is so well done, so idyllic, unequaled within the EC in the "romantic" department, by far. Joe and Tina get amorously intimate to the background music of a sultry trumpet, Joe delicately wrapping Tina up like a piece of priceless porcelain.
Brande engages in a sex scene later on with a different guy that's altogether different. It takes place inside a lighthouse, and it's quite *wild*, involving ropes and a swing, with Brande flailing her hair like a head-banger in reckless abandonment the way Tarzan and Jane must have done it in the jungle. Here, the music again complements the imagery. Playing over the uninhibited performers is an equally wild rock song that fittingly adds to the effectiveness of the scene. (Without music or with the wrong type playing say, elevator music this spectacular scene wouldn't be what it is.)
The gorgeous Nancy O'Brien opens the movie as Joe's girlfriend, Susan, in a scene which has the two making out in the back of a pick-up truck. But first ... Susan gets down on her knees and removes Joe's blue jeans, and, lo and behold, is quite awe-stricken by the sight.
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