Carry on Christmas (1973 TV Movie)
Santa AKA Mr Belcher: What's your name, then?
Virginia: Oh, here we go. It's Virginia. Then Mum says we call her virgin for short, and then you say not for long, all right?
Santa AKA Mr Belcher: [turning to Virginia's mother] She's very forward for her age!
Virginia's Mother: Yes, well we had a French student living with us - she probably got it from him.
Santa AKA Mr Belcher: [looks at Virginia, then turns back to face the mother] I wouldn't be at all surprised!
Captain Ffing-Burke: I don't like it. I don't like it
Private Parkin: Would you like some corned beef, sir?
Captain Ffing-Burke: I don't like it at all.
Private Parkin: Neither do I, but you've got to eat something!
[Sgt Ball enters the trench, and explains that he was in No-Man's-Land on reconisance]
Captain Ffing-Burke: Reconisance! That's a darn silly idea!
Sgt. Ball: You should know - it was yours!
Private Parkin: There's someone coming!
Sgt Ball: Leave this to me, sir.
[aiming his rifle down the trench]
Sgt Ball: Halt! Who goes there!
Adelle: [from outside the trench] Amiee?
Sgt Ball: A couple of frogs, sir. Advance, Amiee, and give the password.
Adelle: [walking into the trench] Derrière?
Sgt Ball: Derrière? I said , ?Password?
Adelle: Oh, pardon, monsieur!
Santa AKA Mr Belcher: Why can't we go back to living like cavemen? I know it was a rough and ready existence - the men where always rough and the women were always ready!
Anthro Pod: How long have I been asleep?
Senna Pod: Since October!
Bodkin Pod: We nearly buried you twice!
Robin Hood: I shot an arrow in the air, it came to earth, I know not where!
Friar Tuck: I'll show you!
[stands up, and turns to reveal the arrow sticking out of his cloak]
Robin Hood: You should have turned the other cheek!
Robin Hood: I'll follow you into hell itself.
Maid Marion: I'm going home to Mother!
Robin Hood: That's what I just said!
[Seed has introduced Crompet to Bodkin, Anthro and Senna]
Crompet: Senna Pod? Oh, what a funny name!
Seed Pod: It runs in the family!
[Seed Reveals that Crompet is Bodkin's Christmas Present]
Bodkin Pod: What do I do with it?
Seed Pod: 19 years old, and he asks, ?What do I do with it?
Anthro Pod: I'll show you.
Seed Pod: [bashes Anthro with a club] You will not!
Anthro Pod: Why not? I taught you everything you know!
Seed Pod: I don't want you teaching *him* everything I know!
Santa AKA Mr Belcher: My wife hasn't really got a Christmas spirit. When I went into bed last night, guess what she said?
Mr. Sibley: [referring to his sandwich] Put that wretched thing away!
Santa AKA Mr Belcher: How did you know?
Bodkin Pod: Why can't we have mammoth, just for a change?
Senna Pod: It's too expensive!
Bodkin Pod: It needn't be - in the shop up the road, they're having a mammoth sale!
Santa AKA Mr Belcher: [a slap and an exclamation is heard from out of shot] Hello, that's coming from the bedding department!
Bed Customer: [Walking out and adjusting her jumper] Well, really
Santa AKA Mr Belcher: [Noticing Mr Sibley] I might have known!
Mr. Sibley: How dare you! I was just showing her, how to get an overnight bunk up!
Seed Pod: It's the Angles!
Senna Pod: How do you know it's the Angles?
Seed Pod: They always have a white line down the middle of the woad!
Virginia: [Climbing onto Santa's knee] Now then, what are you going to give me?
Santa AKA Mr Belcher: Well, you're making it hard for me!
[Picking up a yellow yo-yo]
Santa AKA Mr Belcher: How about a little yo-yo?
Virginia: I don't like them!
Santa AKA Mr Belcher: [Putting the yo-yo away and picks up a doll dressed as a fairy] I know - how about a fairy?
Virginia: Oh, like the one that comes and does mum's hair?
Santa AKA Mr Belcher: No, no!
[Puts the fairy back]
Virginia: He's got a little yo-yo - I've seen it!