4.3/10
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10 user 3 critic

Roswell: The Aliens Attack (1999)

Two aliens escape from 1947 Roswell, New Mexico and set out to sabotage the Earth. The lady alien finds she enjoys sex and likes to seduce soldiers. However, the male eventually falls in ... See full summary »

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Cast

Cast overview, first billed only:
Steven Flynn ...
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...
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Capt. Phillips
Sean McCann ...
Col. Woodburn
...
Tyler
Ben Baxter ...
Robert Huculak ...
Sergeant
John Bekavac ...
Guard #1
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Guard #2
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Sam (50's)
...
Katie (70's)
Blake Taylor ...
Pathologist
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Soldier #1
...
Soldier #2
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Storyline

Two aliens escape from 1947 Roswell, New Mexico and set out to sabotage the Earth. The lady alien finds she enjoys sex and likes to seduce soldiers. However, the male eventually falls in love with an Earthling and decides to stop the female from setting off a nuclear weapon the two had developed. Written by John Sacksteder <jsackste@bellsouth.net>

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They told us aliens didn't exist... They lied.


Motion Picture Rating (MPAA)

Rated PG for sci-fi violence, sensuality and language | See all certifications »
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4 February 1999 (USA)  »

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Roswell - Alien Attack  »

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1.33 : 1
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Smelly
10 April 2004 | by See all my reviews

Let's say, there is a UFO falling from the sky. There's a man laying on the ground miles from civilization, without transportation. This man claims to be a hot-shot scientist, but acts weird, only knows a couple of words in English and doesn't understand a simple joke or remark. What do you do?

The answer is: you fall in love with him! This is what the widowed Katie does anyway, although one wonders why, as alien John's only contribution to their conversations is 'yes' or 'no' (although a cynic would say that's the perfect partner). Good thing though that the aliens apparently speak English to each other, it's the best way to learn the language, folks...

Oh I forgot what the aliens (there's 2 of them, John and a female) want. Well, what do all aliens want... they want to destroy the planet. To do so they recharge an atomic bomb (?) so that the whole world will explode (erm... I didn't get that either). This bomb is on a military base in Roswell, New Mexico, home of the UFO.

Back to the story then. Conflicts start when alien-guy John likes Katie and her son as well and thinks this whole blowing-up-the-planet thing is immoral. His female buddy from outer space Eve thinks otherwise though... Meanwhile the military guys find out he's an imposter (finally checked his records, guys?), while the bomb keeps ticking...

Now John and Katie team up to find Eve and stop her from detonating the bomb. Love it when John tells Katie he's an alien: 'I came here to destroy the planet, but I changed my mind (!)'. From that point the movie which is already ludicrous takes some more stupid turns, which includes a silly fight and a countdown-sequence you only see in old Bond movies, but then worse. Notice this: it takes that stupid bomb about 30 seconds to verify (!) a code...

The actors try but this pile of dung can't be saved, no matter what actors you'd use. Kate Greenhouse is a Heather Nova look-a-like (anybody else notice), playing the Katie person and Steven Flynn has no problems using a single facial impression on the John guy. But that's not where the movie goes wrong. We're way past that point...

A cheap TV movie, this one: 2/10.


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