|Index||5 reviews in total|
By 1986, the legendary exploitation director Jess Franco was back to
his home land, Spain. In there, he was given all creative freedom. This
lead to some of the best films of his career (Macumba Sexual, Cries of
Pleasure and Mil Sexos tiene la Noche), but also, during this period,
he directed some of the worst (Oasis of the Zombies, Revenge in the
House of Usher, Mansion of the Living Dead). Somewhere in between lies
this hilarious hardcore porn effort. Starring his wife Lina Romay, the
movie introduce us a very interesting character: Lulú's talking ass,
who is unhappy because his pal, Lulú's vagina is the only one getting
all the action! Yeah, that's the movie basic plot. Very amusing. But
the movie falls flat with the hardcore scenes. Most of them are not
very interesting and the actors aren't in the best shape (except Lina,
who no matter what, always looks incredible).
Recommended if only for one memorable scene where Lina uses an Oscar statue for giving herself pleasure. Priceless! 6/10.
Cheap, vulgar? Yes, it sure is. Pornographic? Oh, yes! Let's not harsh
Jess Franco's karma by pretending we were out to see an art film and
were disturbed to find this awesomely trashy stuff instead. Jess knows
better, I know better, and you knew better, too.
Sure, Lina goes a bit overboard with an Oscar statuette, but you can forgive her for that because you get to watch. This is pretty much hardcore euro-porn thinly disguised as a movie, and why not? You're not watching a Jess Franco/Lina Romay collaboration to critique the acting, marvel at the cinematography or scrutinize the end credits for long-lost relatives. You're watching it because you're hoping to see Lina naked, doing what she does, and she does a lot of it in this film.
I've paid a lot more to see movies that I enjoyed a lot less than this one.
We're talking Lina Romay in her prime here, mid-thirties and squirmingly, explicitly, deliciously buck naked. Can she act? Of course she can, I'd give her an Oscar any day. Maybe a box full of them, if I got to watch her use them like she does here. Can Franco direct? I suspect he was holding the camera one-handed, but he does a decent enough job here, not wasting a lot of time on exposition or story. Franco could teach modern porn directors a thing or two, you can see that in any of his movies.
It's a sleaze fest, for sure, in the grand tradition of euro-sleaze. Watch it and don't bother pretending you didn't love it.
Ojete de Lulú, El (1986)
* (out of 4)
Jess Franco and Lina Romay co-directed this film, which is a vile, rather disgusting and lazy "comedy/porno". The American title is Lulu's Talking Ass so that should tell you something. In the film, a talking ass (provided by Romay) tells various sexual stories and we get to see the scenes. Even by Franco standards this thing here is pretty useless and the sex scenes never enter the erotic zone but instead go towards the vile level. Once again it seems this film was shot in the matter of days if not hours and it really shows on screen. I had to view the film in Spanish without any subs so I'm not sure if the "talking ass" has any good dialogue or not. The funniest moment of the film is when one of the male actors goes to switch positions and accidentally falls off the bed. Being Franco, he left it in the film. Franco's opinion of the Academy Awards also gets a special mention since the talking ass comes upon an Oscar and does something to it, which I won't mention here.
*** This review may contain spoilers ***
How could you??? How could you rip-off Claude Mulot's '75 "Le Sexe qui parle" in such a shameful manner, just switching from... "main entrance" to "back door" and think...you could get away with it? I can understand if, at the time you made this movie, perhaps you badly needed to make a quick buck to pay rent and bills but, at least you could try to do it with the style I (and many more) know you are capable of. I know it's "hard-core" but we all know you can do better then this. I can absolutely NOT forgive you for having "thrown" at us (audience), "our" lovely Lina Romay in tasteless and gratuitous gynecological poses and, to make things even worst, let her hide under that horrible wig, which made her look so cheap and vulgar. Where did you leave the atmosphere, the mesmerizing images, the erotic build-up and the style you got us accustomed to? Perhaps you tried to make it funny but, the only time I was able to smile, was when Lina/Lulú spots the "Oscar" statue sitting on top of a piece of furniture and decides quickly to put it...to use. First I thought this was your humorist way to give us your opinion about the "Academy Award" but, most probably, the statue was just found by the Prop-man somewhere in a box and he decided to bring it to the set, thinking that it may somehow fit in the plot.... Sorry Jesus, but this is definitely a NO-NO! I can only give a very merciful 3 out of 10 and, to get the bad taste out of my mouth, I'm going now to watch (again) "Les Avaleuses" or "Doriana Grey" and I hope it will help...
Jess Franco and his gorgeous wife Lina Romay must have a pretty sick
sense of humour... and I absolusitively LOVE it!! :D
"El ojete de Lulu" (Lulu's Talking Ass) is a hilarious p0rno comedy that you can watch to have some good laughs OR to watch Lina Romay's a*ss (her as*s is nice). The plot, if there is one, is basically that Lulu's a*ss is getting jealous because her vagina is getting all the attention from men. :D I can't imagine why, Lina Romay's a#ss looks pretty gooood lol :)
Either way, this is an enjoyable film. A guilty pleasure? Perhaps.. but still nice :) 8/10
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