A gentle and usually mellow young man, who sometimes knows things before they happen and gets vibes of premonition, tell us his story: how he met Michelle in Iowa in 1971, how he got the name Fuckhead, how she introduced him to heroin and their falling in love, his thieving, his hospital work and their time in Chicago when she gets pregnant, detox, going to Phoenix to live, AA meetings and a dance, working at a care center where he learns to touch the residents, and modifying his daily schedule so that he passes a neighboring Mennonite household at the right time to hear the wife sing Gospel songs in the shower. Slowly, very slowly, FH lets his gifts emerge. Written by
"Searching for Meaning" could be the title of the movie as well as of the reactions of many people who didn't want to see below the mixed-up surface of the film. The story is the random ramblings of a reformed drug addict looking for some meaning to life, death, and the difference between the two.
There are some interesting symbols: a man with Jesus' heart, a singing Menonite mermaid in a shower, drugs as an escape from the drug called life, etc. Not the average stuff of a mainstream movie which explains why this is an independent film.
We go along on an oddly comic journey during which we contemplate the price we pay for our dreams, explore the way we hide our deformities from the world, realize that we pretend to be normal because we want to be normal -- whatever normal is. We all want to find our place in a strange world where we have to consider the answers to the questions "Why did God make us?" and "Why did God make us the way we are?"
The solution to the riddles seems to be connecting with all our fellow riddlers, realizing that we'll understand someday what it all means.
This is a disturbing, funny, sad film -- not for everybody, but an interesting experience for people who don't mind thinking about what is being shown on the screen.
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