Quotes

Jimmy the Demon: Remember, you have to shove a pineapple up Hitler's ass at 4 p.m...

Nicky: I'm from the South. The Deep South.

Son: [about Nicky] Who's that man, Mommy?

Mom: I dunno, but he sure is butt-ugly.

Gatekeeper: Are there boobs on my head?

Nicky: Yeah, big ones.

Valerie: Do it for the butterflies!

Mr. Beefy: Look, it's okay for me to shit in the street, but *you* gotta use a toilet.

Deacon: Why do you taunt me with your darkness? Your evil is stinkin' up our streets! The end is near! We are all gonna die!

Valerie: Nicky!

Nicky: Valerie!

Valerie: What are you doing?

Nicky: I think I'm floating.

Valerie: Why would you be floating?

Nicky: Maybe it's because of this cake I ate earlier.

Nicky: That's not me! That's that cockroach Tony Montana!

Nicky: [after going to heaven] What is this? Is it Dad's birthday?

Adrian: Welcome to the party! It's so nice to see you all here! I'm so proud of you. You've taken to sin with such minimal prompting. You're acting as if there is no heaven or hell. Well, I've got news for you. There is most definitely a hell and you're all gonna go there when you die. Which is in about 15 minutes.

Deacon: Holy shit! We really are gonna die!

Jenna: That guy is still the biggest horndog.

Lucifer: Even in hell I get no respect.

Townie: You can do it Nicky! Kick him in his hairy balls!

Nicky: Get in the flask!

Popeye's Cashier: What're you talkin' about, man?

Nicky: I'm talkin' about an 8-piece, let's go!

Jimmy the Demon: You were gone ten seconds, what happened?

Nicky: I was hit by this big light that was attached to a lot of metal.

Satan: That was a train, son, don't stand in front of them.

Nicky: Well, I'll have to take a mulligan on this one.

Christa: God's so smart.

Jenna: Yeah, like Jeopardy smart.

Lucifer: The last time I saw a pair of jugs that big, two hillbillies were blowing on them.

Mom: Now *that* was some straight-up David Copperfield shit!

John: Hey, by the way, Nicky, check this out, what's Ozzy tryin' to say there?

Nicky: John, absolutely nothing, the blizzard always came straight with his messages, but wrap your minds around this, gentlemen.

[Pulls out a Chicago album]

Todd: I love this song.

[Nicky plays the album backwards -"I command you, in the name of Lucifer, the spill the blood of the innocent..."]

Peter: Oh my God, Chicago kicks ass!

Nicky: Yo, fossil-head! I got a bone to pick with you!

Mr. Beefy: Yeah I had a weak back... about a week back! Ahahahaha!

Nicky: You want a pillow fight, do ya? then let's let the feathers fly!

Satan: I'm sorry. After careful consideration, I regretfully have to decline.

Dan Marino: C'mon, man, I'm just asking, let me win one Superbowl.

Satan: In exchange for eternal damnation of your soul? You're too nice of a guy for me to want to do that to you, Mr. Marino.

Dan Marino: You did it for Namath.

Satan: Yeah, but Joe was coming here anyways.

Whitey the Referee: Get this shit outta here!

Todd: You know, this cake tastes kind of funny.

John: Oh yeah, I dumped a fat sack of reefer into the mix. I thought I'd spice up the batch.

Mr. Beefy: Really?

Nicky: What's Reefer?

Mr. Beefy: About five Hundred bucks an ounce.

Peeper: Hi Diddley Dee, Are Those Things For Me?

Valerie: Now why don't you give that nice man his flask back?

Street Vendor: And what you gonna do if I don't? Bite me with yo' ssssnaaggletooth?

Nicky: Release the good.

[shoots rainbows out of hands and group of bunnies appear]

Nicky: Yes, they're furry.

Demon: Bunny, Bunny, Bunny, Bunny!

Nicky: [speaking in Korean to vendors] A thousand good mornings to you, my friends!

Korean Vendor: [speaking to wife in Korean] You grab him, I'll punch him in the dick until he passes out.

Korean Vendor: [repeatedly in Korean] Monster!

Adrian: What time is my brother expected to arrive?

John: Noon...

John: [looks at the clock and sees that it's past noon, desperate] ... ish?

Nicky: I will eat your heart