Watson Pritchett:
I lied. The house is alive. We're all gonna die.
Evelyn Stockard-Price:
Get off me, you pervert!
Steven H. Price:
Congratulations. I don't think Evelyn's said that to anything with testicles, ever.
Evelyn Stockard-Price:
Very funny, Stephen. Have you?
[
after Price receives a call from Evelyn]
Channel 3 Reporter:
So Mr. Price, business or pleasure?
Steven H. Price:
Neither. My wife.
Eddie Baker:
Oh, so then we'll just stay here 'til morning.
Watson Pritchett:
[
sarcastic] Oh, great. I'm sure we'll all be mutilated beyond recognition by then.
Steven H. Price:
Let's go down and greet your guests. Show them the real you: corny as Kansas on the fourth of July.
Evelyn Stockard-Price:
I gave you a goddamn guest list two pages long. Where the hell are they?
Steven H. Price:
Shredded. Sorry. Decided to whip up one of my own - a group so hungry for money they'd do anything. I thought you'd be more comfortable with your peers.
Eddie Baker:
Me and you all three. Woowho, lets boogie.
Eddie Baker:
What good is a million dollars when you're dead?
Eddie Baker:
[
talking to Steven Price while holding up bloody rag] Look at this, huh, what is this!
Watson Pritchett:
[
turns around] "That? What just happened to you there? That's nothing, you just been playing around with a ghost, wait til somebody lets out the darkness in this place, that's a whole... that's a whole new bunch of crazy shit, that's... you'll hate that shit.
Eddie Baker:
[
talking to Steven Price while holding up bloody rag] Look at this, huh, what is this!
Watson Pritchett:
[
turns around] "That? What just happened to you there? That's nothing, you just been playing around with a ghost, wait til somebody lets out the darkness in this place, that's a whole - that's a whole new bunch of crazy shit, that's - you'll hate that shit.
Watson Pritchett:
[
talking to Eddie] Price didn't make the list, the house did... Cause she's a vengeful stupid whore!
[
kicks machinery on last line]
Watson Pritchett:
[
walks slowly up to Sarah] You don't... get it... do you? This house is pissed. It has no morals, cuz it's a fucking house!
[
Hearing the screaming from another part of the house]
Evelyn Stockard-Price:
Guess old Melissa found what she was looking for.
Sara Wolfe:
I'm trying to figure out who or what Melissa was taping when she disappeared.
Eddie Baker:
Right, then where will we be?
Watson Pritchett:
Out of Scotch, thanks to you, Ass!
[
Discussing Evelyn's birthday party plans over the phone]
Steven H. Price:
Congratulations. On a scale of one to ten on the perversity meter you just hit a seventy three"
Steven H. Price:
Sure is a funky old house, ain't it?
Watson Pritchett:
Sorry to interrupt. God dammit, you give me my god damn check right now! 'Cuz I want it! So you give it! Now! I'm serious.
Evelyn Stockard-Price:
Oh Steven, you poor clueless old geek, all it would have taken was a simple divorce and ripping our prenup into tiny itsy bitsy little pieces, but no matter how it ended please just know one thing , from the first moment I laid eyes on you I have always, always loved... your money. On the other hand just the sight of you has made me want to puke.
Steven H. Price:
[
grabbing Evelyn by the throat surprising her] Is that a fact princess? I mean you could have saved us all a great deal of time not to mention money if you'd have just let me in on it years ago.
Evelyn Stockard-Price:
How?
Steven H. Price:
You must be kidding me, I'm Steven goddamn Price.
Evelyn Stockard-Price:
[
trying to talk while steven is choking her] Sweetie?
Steven H. Price:
Anything angel just speak it.
Evelyn Stockard-Price:
What are you going to do?
Steven H. Price:
Just what you wanted everyone here to believe in the first place, I'm gonna murder you evelyn with the greatest of pleasure.
Evelyn Stockard-Price:
Witnesses.
Steven H. Price:
[
grabbing her by her hair and pulling her up off the floor] You're already dead Evelyn.
[
kisses her]
Steven H. Price:
Happy birthday baby.
Evelyn Stockard-Price:
[
Stephen H. Price is sneaking out of the room] : And where are you off to, Mr. Price? Checking the wiring on the animatronic mummies?
Steven H. Price:
I'm just gonna go take a leak, if it's okay with you.
[
Steven Price surprises Eddie, Sara, and Pritchett. Eddie almost shoots Price with his gun]
Eddie Baker:
That's a good way to get your head blown off, man!
Steven H. Price:
I'll recommend it to Evelyn.
Watson Pritchett:
The house doesn't care what's fair, who lives or dies. Know why? Cause it's a fucking *house*!
Eddie Baker:
I had nothing to do with this! I was adopted!
Melissa:
Now, that's enter-fucking-tainment!
Evelyn Stockard-Price:
Congratu-fucking-lations!
Steven H. Price:
[
after throwing a wrench and disengaging the lock-down] So much for a PhD in engineering.
Evelyn Stockard-Price:
Stephen, if you really love me, you'll find a way to drop dead in the next second.
Steven H. Price:
Oh but baby, finding ways for me to die is really your thing. Let's not forget the O.J. knife with the not so retractable blade, the Jim Jones kool-aide which was exactly that.
Evelyn Stockard-Price:
Accidents, all accidents until proven otherwise.
Steven H. Price:
Come on honey, let's go down and meet your guests.
Evelyn Stockard-Price:
You go ahead darling, I'm just going to run boiling hot water over the places you just touched me.
Watson Pritchett:
Jesus, she's dead. She was cute too. God, I'd love to get laid before I die.
[
Looks at Evelyn]
Watson Pritchett:
How you doin' tonight?
[
Evelyn gives him a glare]
Watson Pritchett:
Yeah, I'm alright.
[
Goes back to heavy drinking]
Steven H. Price:
[
on his newest rollercoaster] Ever see one that starts at the top? 20 stories worth of top.
Eddie Baker:
That was the most fun I've had all day.
Sara Wolfe:
You need to get out more.
Sara Wolfe:
Is this house really haunted?
Watson Pritchett:
[
near hysterics] It's uh, well, bleh... hah... yeah, it's pretty scary.
[
Prichett appears behind Sarah and Eddie after they find a dead body]
Eddie Baker:
Holy shit!
Watson Pritchett:
Booga booga.
Evelyn Stockard-Price:
Who invited them?
Steven H. Price:
I don't know, it wasn't me and you say it wasn't you, who then, Evelyn? Ghosts?
Evelyn Stockard-Price:
Ooh, spooky.
Peter Graves:
Dr. Richard Benjamin Vannacutt. He out-butchered Bundy, made Manson look meek.
Eddie Baker:
[
Eddie and Sara are atop a tall tower] That was one kickass party!
Sara Wolfe:
OK but one more thing: How do we get down from here?
[
Eddie and Sara laugh at their amusing predicament]
Related Links
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