WWF Raw (1993– )
The Rock: Triple H, let The Rock understand this for a second. He beat your ass in a cage match, and now you're the number one contender for the WWF Title? Well The Rock realizes why that is. 'Cause you got a three foot nose, you turn it sideways, and stick it straight up Vince's ass! Now. Onto 'Bad Ass' Billy Gunn. The Rock understands what took place. The night you won King of the Ring, you got down on your knees, put your little hands together, and you said a prayer, and it sounded like this
The Rock: [in a squeaky voice]
The Rock: 'Oh dear God! You see, my names Billy. And I just won King of the Ring, but there's one problem. Everybody still thinks
[back to normal voice]
The Rock: that I absolutely suck!' And then at that point Billy, your house started to shake, the heavens opened up, and God himself spoke to you and said this 'Bob... ' 'But my names Billy!' 'It doesn't matter what your name is! You are absolutely right, you do suck! But there is one thing and one thing only you can do. You must go find the man who is simply electrifying. You must go find The Rock!' 'Oh but God, anybody but The Rock... ' 'Know your role and shut your mouth!' And then Billy, as fear went through your body, tears went down your cheek, and piss rolled down your leg! Your house started to shake again, the clouds parted, the heavens opened, and what seemed like Millions...
The Rock: [fans yelling 'And Millions!']
The Rock: Of voices all said to you in unison. Jabroni! If ya smeeellll! What The Rock... is cookin'.
The Rock: The Rock is gonna lay the smackdown on your candy ass! The Rock is gonna go down Know Your Role Boulevard, hang that right at Jabroni Drive, and proceed to check your candy ass in at the Smackdown Hotel. Know you role and shut your mouth. If you smell... what the Rock is cookin'!
Viscera: You know Trish, uhhh. I'm really glad that you agreed to this, because eating, always gets me in the mood.
Trish Stratus: [laughs] Really, well. You must be the horniest guy on the planet then.
Jerry 'The King' Lawler: She shouldn't even be here right now, she should be in the back with Mr. McMahon, having fun.
JR: How do you know that was fun?
Jerry 'The King' Lawler: What do you mean how would that be fun? You don't think that would be fun?
JR: Well, he's not exactly my type, if you know what I mean...
Hulk Hogan: What you gonna do, brother? What you gonna do when Hulkamania runs wild on you?
Stone Cold: And that's the bottom line, because Stone Cold said so.
Stone Cold: If you wanna see Stone Cold Steve Austin open up a can of whoop-ass, give me a *hell* yeah!
Stone Cold: *What*?
Vince McMahon: [J.R. is talking to Steve Austin on the phone and Mr. McMahon and the Corporation shows up]
Vince McMahon: Who are you talking to?
JR: [covering up who he is really talking to] My cousin.
Batista: Take this however you want it, but I think that you, would make a great politician.
Eric Bischoff: Thank you Batista!
Batista: You're Welcome.
Eric Bischoff: Hmm. Mayor Bischoff. I like that.
[Batista who just left steps back into frame putting his arm on Eric's shoulder]
Batista: Better yet. Used Car Salesman.
Shawn Michaels: [Canadian crowd is chanting "You Screwed Bret" during an interview with him] ... And your point being *what*, exactly?
Stone Cold: [to Mike Tyson] I respect what ch'ya done Mike, but ch'ya out here callin' yourself the baddest man on the planet. Right now you got your little beady eyes locked on the eyes of THE worlds toughest Son of a bitch! I can beat you any day of the week, twice on Sunday. Do I think I - Do I think you can beat my ass? Hell no! Do I think I can beat your ass? Why hell yeah! I don't know how good your hearing is, but if ya don't understand what I'm saying I always got a little bit of sign language, so here's to ya!
[Gives Tyson the middle finger]
Jerry 'The King' Lawler: [after looking at a Playboy issue featuring Christy Hemme] You have no idea what I'm using as a bookmark!
Shawn Michaels: It's better to be pissed off than pissed on!
[throws cup of his urine into Vince and Shane McMahon's faces]
Stone Cold: Look me in the eyes and explain yourself, you tell me right now that I'm not the worlds toughest Son of a Bitch. You're as guilty as Shawn Michaels is. All I was doing was backstage, and you're trying to provoke me. Why I - That's exactly what you did 'cause that - as you can see I am a little pissed off.
Vince McMahon: Steve. It was just a figure of speech. "Baddest man on the plant" is a figure of speech.
Stone Cold: [Puts his middle finger in Vince's face] This is a figure of speech right here how do ya like it?
Shawn Michaels: I'm the 'Showstoppa', the Main Event, the ICON!
JR: Oh, my God!
JR: Business is about to pick up.
JR: He's running like a scalded dog.
JR: This is gonna be one slobberknocker!
JR: Aw, *come on*!
JR: He's getting whipped like a government mule.
Vince McMahon: [after Howard Finkel tries to say goodbye to Mr. McMahon after leaving WWF for a short time]
Vince McMahon: [yells]
Vince McMahon: Get the hell away from me!
Shane McMahon: [to Vince]
Shane McMahon: Respect this!
Jerry 'The King' Lawler: Her with those curves and me with no brakes!
Jerry 'The King' Lawler: Puppies!
Viscera: Horniest guy on the planet huh? Waiter. See this page right here? That's me right there dog, I'll take it.
Jerry 'The King' Lawler: Christy won't go anywhere without Lita, of course Lita will go anywhere.
JR: You can't prove that.
Randy Orton: My message was clear, you're either with me or against -
Randy Orton: You're either with me or against me!
Eric Bischoff: Batista. Before I go. I wanted to clear something up about last week. You called me a used car salesman. You were kidding right?
Batista: No, I wasn't kidding.
Paul Heyman: [a couple of female wrestlers are rolling over referee Jack Doe whilst fighting] I want to be jack Doe when I grow up!
JR: He wants to be Jack Doe when he grows up.
Jerry 'The King' Lawler: [to Jonathan Coachman after being humiliated by Stone Cold Steve Austin] You have HBO. Horrible Beer Odor!
Vince McMahon: Right now. Uh, the following Public Service Announcement is brought to you by the chairman of World Wrestling Entertainment, Vincent Kennedy McMahon. Kids I have a lesson for you. If you're, a user, you're a loser. Don't wind-up like Shawn Michaels. Don't do drugs. Thank you very much.
Shawn Michaels: I may be going out on a limb here, but I'm guessing Howard Finkel does not get a lot of chicks!
Khosrow Daivari: [yelling in Arabic]
Chris Jericho: Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa. That's disgusting! You wanna do *what* with me?