WWE Raw (1993– )
The Rock: The Rock is gonna lay the smackdown on your candy ass! The Rock is gonna go down Know Your Role Boulevard, hang that right at Jabroni Drive, and proceed to check your candy ass in at the Smackdown Hotel. Know you role and shut your mouth. If you smell... what the Rock is cookin'!
Jerry 'The King' Lawler: She shouldn't even be here right now, she should be in the back with Mr. McMahon, having fun.
JR: How do you know that was fun?
Jerry 'The King' Lawler: What do you mean how would that be fun? You don't think that would be fun?
JR: Well, he's not exactly my type, if you know what I mean...
[In a comedy skit, Kane and Daniel Bryan are attending an "Anger Management Group Therapy" session. The group leader asks Kane to "Tell us what makes you angry. Start with your childhood."]
Daniel Bryan: [rubs his eyes] This is a bad idea.
Kane: Well, I grew up locked in a basement, suffering severe psychological and emotional scarring when my brother set my parents on fire. From there, I shifted around among a series of mental institutions until I was grown, at which point, I buried my brother alive... twice. Since then, I've set a couple of people on fire, and abducted various co-workers. Oh, and I, uh... once electrocuted a man's testicles. Years ago, I had a girlfriend named Katie, but, uh... let's just say that that didn't turn out so well. My real father is a guy named Paul Bearer, who I recently trapped in a meat locker. I've been married, divorced, broke up my ex-wife's wedding, and tombstoned the priest. And for reasons never explained, I have an unhealthy obsession with torturing Pete Rose.
Stone Cold: And that's the bottom line, because Stone Cold said so.
Stone Cold: If you wanna see Stone Cold Steve Austin open up a can of whoop-ass, give me a *hell* yeah!
Stone Cold: *What*?
JR: Oh, my God!
JR: Business is about to pick up.
JR: He's running like a scalded dog.
JR: This is gonna be one slobberknocker!
JR: Aw, *come on*!
JR: He's getting whipped like a government mule.
Jerry 'The King' Lawler: [after looking at a Playboy issue featuring Christy Hemme] You have no idea what I'm using as a bookmark!
Vince McMahon: Right now. Uh, the following Public Service Announcement is brought to you by the chairman of World Wrestling Entertainment, Vincent Kennedy McMahon. Kids I have a lesson for you. If you're, a user, you're a loser. Don't wind-up like Shawn Michaels. Don't do drugs. Thank you very much.
Hulk Hogan: What you gonna do, brother? What you gonna do when Hulkamania runs wild on you?
Nature Boy Ric Flair: Wheelin', dealin', jet ridin' son of a gun.
Jerry 'The King' Lawler: Christy won't go anywhere without Lita, of course Lita will go anywhere.
JR: You can't prove that.
Batista: Take this however you want it, but I think that you, would make a great politician.
Eric Bischoff: Thank you Batista!
Batista: You're Welcome.
Eric Bischoff: Hmm. Mayor Bischoff. I like that.
[Batista who just left steps back into frame putting his arm on Eric's shoulder]
Batista: Better yet. Used Car Salesman.
Chris Jericho: Booker T's haircut looks like a pineapple!
Shawn Michaels: It's better to be pissed off than pissed on!
[throws cup of his urine into Vince and Shane McMahon's faces]
Shawn Michaels: I'm the 'Showstoppa', the Main Event, the ICON!
Viscera: You know Trish, uhhh. I'm really glad that you agreed to this, because eating, always gets me in the mood.
Trish Stratus: [laughs] Really, well. You must be the horniest guy on the planet then.
Vince McMahon: [after Howard Finkel tries to say goodbye to Mr. McMahon after leaving WWF for a short time]
Vince McMahon: [yells]
Vince McMahon: Get the hell away from me!
Vince McMahon: [J.R. is talking to Steve Austin on the phone and Mr. McMahon and the Corporation shows up]
Vince McMahon: Who are you talking to?
JR: [covering up who he is really talking to] My cousin.
Jerry 'The King' Lawler: Her with those curves and me with no brakes!
Jerry 'The King' Lawler: Puppies!
Viscera: Horniest guy on the planet huh? Waiter. See this page right here? That's me right there dog, I'll take it.
Randy Orton: My message was clear, you're either with me or against -
Randy Orton: You're either with me or against me!
Eric Bischoff: Batista. Before I go. I wanted to clear something up about last week. You called me a used car salesman. You were kidding right?
Batista: No, I wasn't kidding.
Shawn Michaels: [Canadian crowd is chanting "You Screwed Bret" during an interview with him] ... And your point being *what*, exactly?
Paul Heyman: [a couple of female wrestlers are rolling over referee Jack Doe whilst fighting] I want to be jack Doe when I grow up!
JR: He wants to be Jack Doe when he grows up.
Jerry 'The King' Lawler: [to Jonathan Coachman after being humiliated by Stone Cold Steve Austin] You have HBO. Horrible Beer Odor!
Shawn Michaels: I may be going out on a limb here, but I'm guessing Howard Finkel does not get a lot of chicks!
Khosrow Daivari: [yelling in Arabic]
Chris Jericho: Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa. That's disgusting! You wanna do *what* with me?