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Barry J. Gillis (writer)
Andrew Jordan (writer)
Release Date:
September 1989 (USA) See more »
Things, A Movie That Defines What Cult Really Is... See more »
A husband whose fanatical desire but inability to father children drives him to force his wife to undergo a dangerous experiment. This results in hatching a non-human life form in his wife's womb, and the birth of a multitude of THINGS. | Add synopsis »
(12 articles)
Exploitation Rewind: The VHS Nostalgia Boom
 (From Planet Fury. 16 April 2012, 2:22 PM, PDT)

Things DVD Review (?)
 (From Twitch. 2 August 2011, 10:28 PM, PDT)

 (From JustPressPlay. 16 July 2011, 2:19 AM, PDT)

User Reviews:
This movie appears to have been a documentary... See more (27 total) »


  (in credits order)

Barry J. Gillis ... Don Drake / TV Maniac
Amber Lynn ... Reporter
Bruce Roach ... Fred Horton
Doug Bunston ... Doug Drake
Jan W. Pachul ... Dr. Lucas
Patricia Sadler ... Susan Drake
Gordon Lucas ... Tortured Man
Bruce Hamilton ... In Dream
Daryn Gillis ... Reporter #2
Allison McGinnis ... Reporter #3
Jackie Seaman ... Doctor's Assistant
Jeff Payne ... Hanging Man
Jessica Stewarte ... Nude Lady
Glenn Orr ... Stretcher Boy
Tom Hochman ... Igor
Arthur Wenner ... Joker on TV #1
Cyril Gillis ... Joker on TV #2
Sohail A. Khan ... TV Victim #1
Robert Allen ... TV Victim #2

Directed by
Andrew Jordan 
Writing credits
(in alphabetical order)
Barry J. Gillis  writer
Andrew Jordan  writer

Produced by
Lorrinda Collins .... executive producer
Barry J. Gillis .... producer
Andrew Jordan .... producer
Original Music by
Jack Procher 
Cinematography by
Dan Riggs 
Film Editing by
Barry J. Gillis 
Andrew Jordan 
Second Unit Director or Assistant Director
Barry J. Gillis .... second unit director
Special Effects by
Glenn Orr .... special effects

Production CompaniesDistributors

Additional Details

USA:83 min
Canada:R (Ontario) | USA:Unrated
Filming Locations:

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10 out of 12 people found the following review useful.
This movie appears to have been a documentary..., 25 August 2008
Author: jonathan-577 from Canada

OK it's late and I don't have the energy to do it justice, but I am committed to telling the world about the 'Things' screening in Toronto this past Saturday. In case you didn't hear Things is the most hilariously incompetent and berserk movie ever made in Canada (NOT the worst though - that honor goes to 'Caged Terror' - competence isn't everything) and possibly the universe. It is mostly shot on Super 8 and basically involves some hosers drinking beer and wandering around the house. They are occasionally interrupted by an inert papier-mache ant with fangs - it doesn't seem to bother anyone too much that it ate its way out of one of the guys' wife's stomach - and 'newscasts' of moonlighting pornstar Amber Lynn reading cue cards WAY off to the side somewhere. There is one scene where a guy silently waves a flashlight around a bathroom for ten full minutes. Dialogue includes "Next time we go somewhere together I'm leaving you at home!" and "Does a toilet flush during a blackout?" Star Ray TV's legendary Jan Pachul shows up as some kind of 'mad scientist' and trumps everyone with his skeezing hyperbolic delivery even though he's basically playing the same mullet-headed boob as all the others. You can not believe that this thing cost two months and $30,000 to make. They must have bought a lot of beer!

But the real show was the guys themselves. Most of the crew showed up for this, the 19 1/2 anniversary screening - which they said was the first time they ever saw it with an audience! The director was a modest soft-spoken guy, but the co-writer/'star' was very stoned and just could not shut up. He seemed to alternate between embarrassed, pre-emptive defensiveness and attempted good-natured embrace of the audience's howling contempt for their work - signified by him going "HEHHEH" very short and sharp and loud about every thirty seconds during the movie. When Trash Palace proprietor Stacey Case paused the tape for intermission Gillis insisted on telling everyone how much better it was about to get. (It really really didn't.) After the movie he took to the stage and wouldn't let it go; he talked so much no one could start the Q & A, and when the director gave it a shot he talked over HIM. He repeatedly promised to give everyone an autographed DVD (with extras!!) and to interview people for a 'documentary' they were going to do about the movie. Unfortunately both were sidetracked when - AFTER the movie had been over for about ten minutes - they went to turn the camera on and couldn't get it to work. Instead we got to watch three of these guys torture the camera in the corner for perhaps fifteen minutes while Stacey tried desperately to fill up the space. Finally the guy - who had been moaning about the turnout intermittently all night - stood on the stairs and yelled something to the effect of, "I mean I don't HATE Stacey, he's gotta make a living..." at which point the heretofore mesmerized audience came to the collective realization that they might actually never ever get out of there alive, so I did everyone a favour and started making strong ready-to-go gestures like standing up and putting on my backpack. Fortunately the stars all suddenly went out for a smoke which gave us a chance to declare the evening officially over.

Marijuana is a hell of a drug. I feel privileged to have been a part of this event - now "Things" will have new layers of meaning every time I watch it, which I expect will be once or twice a year for the rest of my life. (And for the record, the free DVDs did happen, after I left...peace Barry!)

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