Mr. Armistead is the referee for an amateur league Sunday Football match. Disliked and abused by all the players he tries to play fair and ensure they follow the rules. By the end of the ... See full summary »





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Episode cast overview, first billed only:
David Swift ...
Mr. Armistead
Gordon McGrae ...
Parker Street Captain
Freddie Fletcher ...
Albion Captain
Fred Feast ...
Parker Street Coach
Joe Gladwin ...
Duggie Brown ...
Albion Coach
Bert King ...
Albion Linesman
Parker Street Goalie
Susan Littler ...
Player's Girlfriend
Clare Sutcliffe ...
Player's Girlfriend
Clare Kelly ...
Lynne Carol ...
Woman with Dog
Michael De Frayne ...
Norman, Groundsman (as Michael De Freyne)
Alan Erasmus ...
Parker Street Player


Mr. Armistead is the referee for an amateur league Sunday Football match. Disliked and abused by all the players he tries to play fair and ensure they follow the rules. By the end of the match he's had enough and really uses his head to show them that he's not as useless as they all think. Written by Steve Crook <>

Plot Summary | Add Synopsis







Release Date:

9 January 1972 (UK)  »

Company Credits

Production Co:

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Technical Specs

Sound Mix:


Aspect Ratio:

1.33 : 1
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Did You Know?


The title is a deliberate pun. The initials F.A. stand for Football Association (football's governing body in England). "Sweet F.A." is also UK slang for "Sweet Fuck All", meaning nothing of any value (it originally stood for "Sweet Fanny Adams", a reference to a young girl who was murdered and her body dismembered in 1867 - the story gained great notoriety and sailors at about the same time who were being issued with new rations of low grade tinned meat joked that they were being served "sweet Fanny Adams"). See more »


[to two boys who are fighting in his gateway]
Mr. Armistead: All right lads - in your own gateway. Good lads. Can't you strangle each other at home? That's why your fathers pay rates.
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Crazy Credits

The end credits list only the names of the actors and not the names of the characters that they play. See more »


Featured in Deirdre & Me: 40 Years on Coronation Street (2012) See more »


Nocturne No. 2
Written by Frédéric Chopin (as Frederic Chopin)
Played over the final scene and end credits
See more »

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User Reviews

well observed comedy about dreams and ambitions
22 November 2008 | by (United Kingdom) – See all my reviews

Jack Rosenthal's plays for television often commented on the minutiae of life, that is, the little things and events we all take for granted because we see them every day.

This story of an amateur football match is no exception, as the Co-op Albion take on a despised group of visitors under the watchful eye of their to-rule referee (nicknamed Lord Longford). They don't get many observers, either - two bored teenage girls, the managers, the goalie's girlfriend, a couple of friends walking a little yappy dog, a line painter who hates football and wants to be a gardener for the council, and two typical Northern chaps - played by Coronation Street's Fred Feast and Last of the Summer Wine's Joe Gladwin.

Not a lot happens during this play but it is fun to watch anyway. Very typical of the types of programmes available from Granada TV at the time, when television could afford to spend an hour on ordinary life without high drama interfering.

1 of 1 people found this review helpful.  Was this review helpful to you?

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