Mr. Armistead is the referee for an amateur league Sunday Football match. Disliked and abused by all the players he tries to play fair and ensure they follow the rules. By the end of the match he's had enough and really uses his head to show them that he's not as useless as they all think. Written by
Steve Crook <firstname.lastname@example.org>
Did You Know?
The title is a deliberate pun. The initials F.A. stand for Football Association (football's governing body in England). "Sweet F.A." is also UK slang for "Sweet Fuck All", meaning nothing of any value (it originally stood for "Sweet Fanny Adams", a reference to a young girl who was murdered and her body dismembered in 1867 - the story gained great notoriety and sailors at about the same time who were being issued with new rations of low grade tinned meat joked that they were being served "sweet Fanny Adams"). See more
[Mr Armistead is giving the two team captains a pre-match pep talk
Good morning. A few pearls of wisdom from one who knows. What we're now about to witness is called a football match - not the beginning of World War III, not the destruction of the human race - a football match. In it, each of the teams will attempt to score more goals than the other...
[glaring at Parker Street captain
What are you looking at?
Parker Street Captain
...That will be done by kicking the ball in the net, as ...
The end credits list only the names of the actors and not the names of the characters that they play. See more
Nocturne No. 2
Written by Frederic Chopin
Played over the final scene and end credits See more