After Peter finds a valuable coin and sells it for $50,000, he and Lois open their own restaurant. Peter is dismayed, however, when Joe and all of his handicapped friends begin using the restaurant as their hangout, and bans them all. This leads to a huge showdown and an ironic fate for Peter.
Lois gets a job as the church organist, so the family decides to begin going back to church. When Stewie gets sick after receiving communion, the congregation becomes convinced that he has been possessed by the devil. While on the run, the family ends up in Texas, where Peter begins to fit right in with the cowboys, Stewie enters the "Little Miss Texas" pageant, and Chris and Meg sneak into George W. Bush's house.
Lois runs for mayor of Quahog, though she doesn't become the front-runner until she dumbs down her political views. Once in office, she becomes corrupted with the power that she now holds, and begins accepting bribes so that she can buy herself expensive things. Meanwhile, Peter comes to enjoy being the "first lady" of Quahog, and all of the perks that go along with it.
Death grants Peter's wish to go back in time to 1984 when he was 18, but only for one night. He end up bailing on a date with Lois to hang out with a movie actress. When he returns to the present, he soon realizes that everything is but normal, as he is now married to the former actress, and Lois is with Quagmire.