On the night before Thanksgiving, Peter and Brian get drunk and eat the whole turkey, so they have to get a new one on Thanksgiving Day. With Peter gone, Chris tries to take over as the man of the house.
To avoid Freshman hazing, Chris runs away to South America to join the Peace Corp. When Peter and the family come to get him, Peter learns that he's the richest man in the tribe and goes about exploiting the tribe.
After an incident at the Emmys the FCC overreacts and begins to censor anything and everything that may be viewed as unpleasant. So Peter gets the idea to start his own cable network dedicated to all of the "smut" television once offered. Lois, naturally being uncomfortable with this contacts the FCC who then shuts Peter down. Feeling that shutting him down is not enough the FCC then decides to begin censoring life.
During one of his visits Peter's father, Francis, discovers that Stewie has never been baptized, so without Lois' permission Peter and Francis go to church and have him baptized. Upon discovering this, Lois convinces Peter that Stewie should have been able to worship whomever he wanted regardless of his father's religion. Naturally Peter interprets Lois' wisdom the wrong way so decides to start his own religious group that praises the television character, Arthur "Fonzie" Fonzarelli.
Peter is set to have a vasectomy against his will, but has an accident at the sperm bank, which causes Stewie's rival sibling to be born. Meanwhile, Lois gains weight after an angry Peter refuses to have sex with her anymore.
Brian's gay cousin Jasper comes to town for a visit to see Brian. Jasper brings with him a man he wants to marry, but Mayor West is trying to ban gay marriage to distract everyone from a financial scandal.
When Joe buys a new home theater system, Peter gets jealous and decides to build a multiplex movie theater in his back yard. But while doing so, he finds a human skull. It begins haunting the Griffin house, and Stewie gets sucked through a portal into the realm of the dead.
When burglars break into the house, the Griffins take cover in the attic where they discover Peter has built a 'panic room'. They go in it, and Peter tells them about his history. They send Meg for food but the burglars catch her. The rest of the Griffins stay behind and Peter accidentally floods the room and they're going to drown. Luckily Joe gets them out and we find out Meg has been accused of sexual harassment by the burglars.