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Almost Famous (2000) Poster

(2000)

Quotes

Lester Bangs: Aw, man. You made friends with them. See, friendship is the booze they feed you. They want you to get drunk on feeling like you belong.

William Miller: Well, it was fun.

Lester Bangs: They make you feel cool. And hey. I met you. You are not cool.

William Miller: I know. Even when I thought I was, I knew I wasn't.

Lester Bangs: That's because we're uncool. And while women will always be a problem for us, most of the great art in the world is about that very same problem. Good-looking people don't have any spine. Their art never lasts. They get the girls, but we're smarter.

William Miller: I can really see that now.

Lester Bangs: Yeah, great art is about conflict and pain and guilt and longing and love disguised as sex, and sex disguised as love... and let's face it, you got a big head start.

William Miller: I'm glad you were home.

Lester Bangs: I'm always home. I'm uncool.

William Miller: Me too!

Lester Bangs: The only true currency in this bankrupt world is what you share with someone else when you're uncool.

William Miller: I feel better.

Lester Bangs: My advice to you. I know you think those guys are your friends. You wanna be a true friend to them? Be honest, and unmerciful.

Penny Lane: How old are you?

William Miller: Eighteen.

Penny Lane: Me too! How old are we really?

William Miller: Seventeen.

Penny Lane: Me too!

William Miller: Actually, I'm sixteen.

Penny Lane: Me too. Isn't it funny? The truth just sounds different.

William Miller: I'm fifteen.

Russell Hammond: [Russell grabs phone away from William] Hey, mom! It's Russell Hammond. I play guitar in Stillwater. Hey, how does it feel to be the mother of the greatest rock journalist we've met? Hello? Hello...? Look, you've got a really great kid here. There's nothing to worry about. We're taking good care of him, and you should come to the show sometime - join the circus...

Elaine Miller: Hey, hey, listen to me, mister. You're charm doen't work on me - I'm on to you. Of course you like him...

Russell Hammond: Well, yeah...

Elaine Miller: He worships you people. And that's fine by you as long as he helps make you rich.

Russell Hammond: Rich? I don't think so...

Elaine Miller: Listen to me. He's a smart, good-hearted fifteen year old kid with infinite potential.

Russell Hammond: [Russell is stunned]

Elaine Miller: This is not some apron-wearing mother you're speaking with - I know all about your valhalla of decadence and I shouldn't have let him go. He's not ready for your world of compromised values and diminished brain cells that you throw away like confetti. Am I speaking to you clearly?

Russell Hammond: Yes - yes, ma'am...

Elaine Miller: If you break his spirit, harm him in any way, keep him from his chosen profession which is law - something you may not value, but I do - you will meet the voice on the other end of this telephone and it will not be pretty. Do we understand each other?

Russell Hammond: Uh, yes, ma'am...

Elaine Miller: I didn't ask for this role, but I'll play it. Now go do your best. Be bold, and mighty forces will come to your aid. Goethe said that. It's not too late for you to become a person of substance, Russell. Please get my son home safely. You know, I'm glad we spoke.

[Elaine hangs up]

Russell Hammond: [Russell stands holding phone in stunned silence]

Dennis Hope: If you think Mick Jagger will still be out there trying to be a rock star at age fifty, then you are sadly, sadly mistaken.

Russell Hammond: If something should happen... maybe I never said this enough. I love all of you.

Dennis Hope: I once hit a man in Dearborn, Michigan. A hit and run. I hit him and just kept on going. I don't know if he's alive or dead... but I'm sorry. Not a day goes by I don't see his face.

Leslie: Oh my God!

Dick Roswell: Look, I love you all too. You're like a family to me. Especially since Marna left me. And listen, fellas... I just want you to know, if I took an extra dollar or two here and there... it's because I knew I'd earned it.

Russell Hammond: Yeah. I slept with Marna, Dick.

Jeff Bebe: I did too.

Larry Fellows: I waited until you broke up with her, Dick. But me too.

Jeff Bebe: I also slept with Leslie, when you were fighting.

Russell Hammond: [to Leslie] You slept with Jeff?

Leslie: Yeah, but it didn't count. It was the summer we decided to be free of all rules.

Russell Hammond: [to Jeff] And you say you love me!

Jeff Bebe: I don't love you, man. I never did. None of us love you. You act above us. You always have.

Jeff Bebe: Finally, the truth.

Jeff Bebe: You just held it over us, like you might leave. Like we're lucky to be with you. And we had to live with it, man. I had to live with you, and now I might die with you, and it's not fucking fair!

Russell Hammond: Please, enough!

Jeff Bebe: And I'm still in love with you, Leslie.

Leslie: Oh, I don't wanna hear any more. Shut up, Jeffrey!

Dick Roswell: It's all happening.

Russell Hammond: What the fuck! Whatever happens, Bebe, you're dead.

Jeff Bebe: Don't be self-righteous, Russell. Not now, man. You were sleeping with Penny, that fucking groupie, last summer up until yesterday. Why don't you tell Leslie that?

Russell Hammond: Shut up!

Dennis Hope: I quit!

Russell Hammond: I'm gonna kill you!

Dennis Hope: I quit!

William Miller: "That groupie"? She was a Band-Aid! All she did was love your band. And you used her, all of you! You used her and threw her away! She almost died last night while you were with Bob Dylan. You guys, you're always talking about the fans, the fans, the fans; she was your biggest fan, and you threw her away! And if you can't see that, that's your biggest problem. And I love her! I love her!

Dennis Hope: I didn't invent the rainy day, man. I just own the best umbrella.

Russell Hammond: And you can tell Rolling Stone magazine that my last words were... I'm on drugs!

[crowd cheers]

William Miller: Russell! I think we should work on those last words!

Russell Hammond: I got it, I got it. Last words - I dig music.

[a few claps]

Russell Hammond: [beat]

Russell Hammond: I'm on drugs!

[crowd cheers]

William Miller: Do you have to be depressed to write a sad song? Do you have to be in love to write a love song? Is a song better when it really happened to you? Like "Love Thing," where did you write that and who was it about?

Russell Hammond: When did you get so professional?

Anita Miller: FECK YOU!

Elaine Miller: HEY!

Anita Miller: This is a house of lies!

Elaine Miller: Well there it is, your sister used the "F" word.

Young William: I think she said "feck."

Elaine Miller: What's the difference?

Young William: The letter "u."

Penny Lane: I always tell the girls, never take it seriously, if ya never take it seriosuly, ya never get hurt, ya never get hurt, ya always have fun, and if you ever get lonely, just go to the record store and visit your friends.

Jeff Bebe: Some people have a hard time explaining rock 'n' roll. I don't think anyone can really explain rock 'n' roll. Maybe Pete Townshend, but that's okay. Rock 'n' roll is a lifestyle and a way of thinking... and it's not about money and popularity. Although, some money would be nice. But it's a voice that says, "Here I am... and fuck you if you can't understand me." And one of these people is gonna save the world. And that means that rock 'n' roll can save the world... all of us together. And the chicks are great. But what it all comes down to is that thing. The indefinable thing when people catch something in your music.

Lester Bangs: So, you're the one who's been sending me those articles from your school newspaper.

William Miller: I've been doing some stuff for a local underground paper, too.

Lester Bangs: What, are you like the star of your school?

William Miller: They hate me.

Lester Bangs: You'll meet them all again on their long journey to the middle.

William Miller: [on meeting Stillwater] Russell. Jeff. Ed. Larry. I really love your band. I think the song "Fever Dog" is a big step forward for you guys. I think you guys producing it yourselves, instead of Glyn Johns, was the right thing to do. And the guitar sound... is incindiary. Incendiary. Way to go.

[He turns to leave. The band members regard one another for a moment]

Russell Hammond: Well, don't stop there!

Jeff Bebe: Yeah, come back here! I'm incendiary, too, man!

Penny Lane: We are not Groupies. Groupies sleep with rockstars because they want to be near someone famous. We are here because of the music, we inspire the music. We are Band Aids.

Jeff Bebe: Is it that hard to make us look cool?

Elaine Miller: May I speak with William, please?

Sapphire: He's not here. He's down in the bar with the band. They just got back from the radio station. Is this Maryann with the pot?... Hello?

Elaine Miller: No, this is not Maryann with the pot. This is Elaine. His mother. Could you please give him a message for me? Could you tell him to call home immediately? And could you also tell him - I KNOW WHAT'S GOING ON.

Sapphire: All right. But I'm just going to say this, and I'm going to stand by it: you should be really proud of him. 'Cause I know men, and I'll bet you do too. And he respects women, and he likes women, and let's just pause and appreciate a man like that. I mean, you created him out of thin air, and you raised him right, he's having a great time, he's doing a good job, and don't worry - he's still a virgin. And we're all looking out for him. And that's more than I've ever even said to my own parents, so there you go... This is the maid speaking, by the way.

Russell Hammond: Your mom kind of freaked me out.

William Miller: [places hand on Russell's shoulder] She means well.

Russell Hammond: You, Aaron, are what it's all about. You're real. Your room is real. Your friends are real. Real, man, real. You know? Real. You're more important than all the silly machinery. Silly machinery. And you know it! In eleven years its going to be 1984, man. Think about that!

Aaron: Wanna see me feed a mouse to my snake?

Russell Hammond: Yes.

[Finally getting his interview with Russell Hammond]

William Miller: So Russell... what do you love about music?

Russell Hammond: To begin with, everything.

Russell Hammond: Hey William, we showed you America. Did everything but get you laid.

[William looks out the window and smiles]

Russell Hammond: No! Yeah?

All in car: No!

Penny Lane: I've made a decision, I'm gonna live in Morocco for one year. I need a new crowd. Do you wanna come?

William Miller: Yes! Yeah.

Penny Lane: Are you sure?

William Miller: Ask me again.

Penny Lane: Do you wanna come?

William Miller: Yes! Yes.

Russell Hammond: I'm never as good as when you're there.

Elaine Miller: [in the middle of a class lecture] Rock stars have kidnapped my son!

Russell Hammond: I hurt the flower.

Polexia Aphrodisia: It's all happening!

William Miller: I have to go home.

Penny Lane: You are home.

Anita Miller: First it was butter then it was sugar and white flour, bacon, eggs, balogna, rock 'n roll, motorcycles. Then! It was celebrating Christmas on a day in September when you knew it wouldn't be commercialized! What else are you gonna ban?

Elaine Miller: Honey, you want to rebel against knowledge, I'm trying to give you the cliffnotes on how to live life in this world.

Anita Miller: We're like nobody else I know!

Elaine Miller: I am a college professor. Why can't I teach my own kids? Use me!

Anita Miller: Darryl says that you use knowledge to keep me down. He says that I'm a "Yes" person and you are trying to raise us in a "No" environment.

Elaine Miller: Well, clearly "No" is a word Darryl doesn't hear much.

Anita Miller: I can't live here! I hate you! Even William hates you!

Young William: I don't hate her.

Anita Miller: You do hate her! You don't even know the truth.

Elaine Miller: Dramaqueen.

Anita Miller: Feck you!

Elaine Miller: Hey!

Anita Miller: This is a house of lies!

William Miller: I love you. And I'm about to boldly go where... many men have gone before.

Lester Bangs: You CANNOT make friends with the rock stars. That's what's important. If you're a rock journalist - first, you will never get paid much. But you will get free records from the record company. And they'll buy you drinks, you'll meet girls, they'll try to fly you places for free, offer you drugs... I know. It sounds great. But they are not your friends. These are people who want you to write sanctimonious stories about the genius of the rock stars, and they will ruin rock and roll and strangle everything we love about it.

Jeff Bebe: I can't say anymore with the writer here.

Russell Hammond: No, no, no. You can trust him, you can say whatever you want.

Jeff Bebe: I work just as hard or harder than anybody on that stage. You know what I do? I connect. I get people off. I look for the guy who isn't getting off, and I make him get off.

Jeff Bebe: [to William] Actually, *that* you can print!

William Miller: Please don't give him any more acid.

Lester Bangs: And then it just becomes an industry of... cool.

Anita Miller: One day you'll be cool. Look under your bed, it'll set you free.

Anita Miller: Listen to Tommy with a candle burning, and you'll see your entire future.

Elaine Miller: [to William] Your Dad was so proud of you. He knew you were a predominantly accelerated child.

Anita Miller: What about me?

Elaine Miller: You are rebellious and ungrateful of my love.

Russell Hammond: [upon entering William's bedroom] So... This is where the enemy sleeps.

Anita Miller: It's unfair that we can't listen to our music!

Elaine Miller: That's because it's music about drugs and promiscuous sex.

Anita Miller: Simon and Garfunkel is poetry!

Elaine Miller: Yes it's poetry. It's poetry of drugs and promiscuous sex. Honey, they're on pot.

Russell Hammond: [high on acid; laughingly, to Dick] Look at him, he's taking notes with his eyes.

[Violently grabs William and shouts to his face]

Russell Hammond: How do we know you're not a cop, huh? The enemy! Stop fucking looking at me!

Dick Roswell: [calming Russell] He's your guardian angel, alright?

[to William]

Dick Roswell: Don't worry, he only means half of what he says.

William Miller: [to himself] Which half?

Lester Bangs: Music, you now, true music - not just rock n roll - it chooses you. It live in your car, or alone listening to your headphones, you know, with the cast scenic bridges and angelic choirs in your brain. It's a place apart from the vast, benign lap of America.

Beth from Denver: Don't worry William, I've seen the future and this all works out reasonably well.

William Miller: Reasonably well?

William Miller: [on the phone with Dick, talking about Russell] Dick, I got him. He's okay. He is on acid, though.

[pause]

William Miller: I can't really tell. How do you know when it's kicked in?

[Cut to Russell standing on the roof, screaming "I am a golden god"]

Jeff Bebe: It's like you saying you like "Fever Dog" - *That* is the fucking buzz!

William Miller: [to Penny, who is on the toilet] I thought maybe we could hang out, you know, do some stuff back home like... like regular stuff, get to know each other a little bit better, and *then* I'd see you pee.

Penny Lane: You're too sweet for rock and roll.

William Miller: Sweet? Where do you get off? Where do you get sweet? I am dark and mysterious, and *pissed off*! And I could be very dangerous to all of you! You should know that about me... I am *the enemy*!

Penny Lane: Look - you should be happy for me. You don't know what he says to me in private. Maybe it is love - as much as it can be...

Russell Hammond: I am a golden god!

Russell Hammond: I never said I was a golden god... or did I?

Russell Hammond: I'm telling secrets to the one guy you don't tell secrets to.

Polexia Aphrodisia: Let's deflower the kid.

Penny Lane: Call me if you need a rescue, we live in the same city.

William Miller: Sometimes I think I live in a different world.

Sapphire: Can you believe these new girls? None of them use birth control and they eat all the steak!

Ben Fong-Torres: A Mo-Jo, it's a very high-tech machine that transmits pages over the telephone! It only takes eighteen minutes a page!

Polexia Aphrodisia: Do you have any pot?

William Miller: No. I'm a *journalist*.

Polexia Aphrodisia: Well, go do your job then. You're on the road, man. It's all happening! Get in there. Go talk to 'em!

Jeff Bebe: "Rock 'n' roll can save the world"? "The chicks are great"? I sound like a dick!

Russell Hammond: [to himself] You are a dick.

Ben Fong-Torres: You're not there to party. We've already got *one* Hunter Thompson.

Anita Miller: This song explains why I'm leaving home to become a stewardess.

Elaine Miller: Rock stars have kidnapped my son!

William Miller: Don't you have any regular friends?

Penny Lane: Famous people are just more interesting.

Russell Hammond: Write what you want.

Jeff Bebe: Doris is the soul of this band!

Sapphire: They don't even know what it is to be a fan. Y'know? To truly love some silly little piece of music, or some band, so much that it hurts.

Sapphire: Just think, any other city in the world and you'd still be a virgin.

Elaine Miller: Look at this: an entire generation of Cinderellas and there's no glass slipper.

Lester Bangs: Don't let those swill merchants rewrite you.

Russell Hammond: From here on out, I am only interested in what is real. Real people, real feelings, that's it, that's all I'm interested in.

Russell Hammond: And you can tell Rolling Stone magazine that my last words were... I'm on drugs!

William Miller: Russell! I think we should work on those last words!

Russell Hammond: I got it, I got it. Last words: I dig music. I'm on drugs!

William Miller: When and where does this "real world" occur?

Elaine Miller: Adolescence is a marketing tool.

Elaine Miller: Keep the small bills on the outside and call me if anyone gets drunk.

William Miller: I will call you if anyone *anywhere* gets drunk.

Penny Lane: Maybe it is love, as much as it can be, for somebody...

William Miller: Somebody who sold you to Humble Pie for fifty bucks and a case of beer! I was there! I was there!... Look- I'm sorry.

Penny Lane: [sniffs] What kind of beer?

Topeka Kid: You're Russell from Stillwater.

Russell Hammond: Well, yeah, on my better days, I am Russell from Stillwater.

[Regarding the t-shirt picture]

Russell Hammond: Can we just skip the vibe, and go straight to us laughing about this?

Jeff Bebe: Yeah, okay.

Russell Hammond: Because I can see by your face you want to get into it.

Jeff Bebe: How can you tell? I'm just one of the out-of-focus guys.

Russell Hammond: You know, I think we both wanted to, uh, to be with her. I guess she wanted us to be together.

Jeff Bebe: It's okay! I'm easy to forget! Just leave me behind! I'm only the fucking lead singer!

[Russell is on the phone with Penny]

Russell Hammond: Give me your address. I'm coming to you, this time.

Russell Hammond: Don't worry, no one's getting hurt here. She knows Leslie's coming to New York tomorrow. This is the circus, everybody's trying not to go home. Stop looking at me like that.

Jeff Bebe: He was never a person, he was a journalist!

[Ed's only line]

Ed: Fuck it! I'm... I'm gay!

Sheldon the Desk Clerk: Are you Mr. Miller?

William Miller: Yeah.

Sheldon the Desk Clerk: [politely] You have a message from Elaine, your mother.

[pause]

Sheldon the Desk Clerk: She's a handful.

William Miller: I know.

Sheldon the Desk Clerk: [seriously] She freaked me out.

Lester Bangs: The Doors? Jim Morrison? He's a drunken buffoon posing as a poet.

Alice Wisdom: I like The Doors.

Lester Bangs: Give me The Guess Who. They got the courage to be drunken buffoons, which makes them poetic.

Lester Bangs: Iggy Pop!

[smiling effusively]

Lester Bangs: Amen!

Polexia Aphrodisia: [to William watching Penny Lane] Act One, in which she pretends she doesn't care about him.

Polexia Aphrodisia: [sees Russell strumming his guitar and staring at Penny] Act Two, in which he pretends he doesn't care her, but he goes right for her.

Polexia Aphrodisia: [Russell goes to Penny] Act Three, in which it all plays out the way she planned it. She'll eat him alive.

William Miller: We gotta stop them!

Polexia Aphrodisia: Stop them? You... were her reason for coming here.

Lester Bangs: You like Lou Reed?

William Miller: The early stuff. In his new stuff he's trying to be Bowie, but he should just be himself.

William Miller: You said we were going to go to Morocco. There is no Morocco. There's never been a Morocco. There's not even a Penny Lane. I don't even know your real name.

Sapphire: Does anybody remember laughter?

[first lines]

Elaine Miller: I can't believe you wanna be Atticus Finch. Oh, that makes me feel so good.

Young William: I like him.

[last lines]

Penny Lane: Morocco. A seat by the window, please.

Elaine Miller: You've been kissing!

Penny Lane: When we go to Morocco, I think we should have completely different names and be completely different people.

William Miller: What will our names be?

Russell Hammond: Oh, my God. Holy shit. Fuck! I grew up with that lampshade. I love this kitchen. I fucking love this kitchen!

Sapphire: Let's deflower the kid.

William Miller: I kept thinking I was gonna go home the next day.

Dick Roswell: Yeah. So did I... fifteen years ago.

Jeff Bebe: We have got to control what's happening! There's a responsibility here.

Russell Hammond: Excuse me, but didn't we all get into this to avoid responsibility?

Elaine Miller: [teaching] In Carl Jung's opinion, we all have a sixth sense - intuition. When you meet someone and you suddenly feel like you can't live without them. This could be the memory of a past love from the collective unconscious. Or it could just be hormones.

Polexia Aphrodisia: Forgive me father, for I may sin tonight.

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Estrella Starr: [about Penny Lane] She Changed everything. She was the one that said "No more sex. No more exploiting our bodies and hearts." Just blow-jobs, and that's it!

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Jeff Bebe: And I also slept with Leslie.

Russell Hammond: You slept with Jeff?

Leslie: Yeah, but it didn't COUNT! It was the summer we decided to be free of all rules!

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Anita Miller: All the kids make fun of him. They call him the Narc behind his back.

Elaine Miller: What's a narc?

Anita Miller: It's a narcotics officer.

Elaine Miller: Well, what's wrong with THAT?

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Jeff Bebe: [to Russell] Your looks have become a problem!

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Dick Roswell: Ladies and Gentelmen! The evening is over. We hope you all enjoyed yourselves and we'll see you all again in 1974. Good evening!

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Young William: Mom, tell me more about Livia.

Elaine Miller: She killed everybody so her son Tiberius could inherit the throne - just like Nixon.

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Russell Hammond: Do you give a shit about a t-shirt?

Larry Fellows: I'm just hungry man; let's just go out and find some barbeque or something.

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Estrella Starr: [to William] This is Penny Lane, man, show some respect.

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Polexia Aphrodisia: Don't go anywhere, Opie!

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Beth from Denver: Your aura is really fantastic, it's this beautiful purple color!

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Penny Lane: [to William] Did you miss a test or something?

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Larry Fellows: Finally the truth!

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Beth from Denver: [suggestively, to William] Good morning!

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Larry Fellows: [about the plane's pilot] He just told us we're gonna die!

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Estrella Starr: Simon Kirke from Bad Company is by the pool!

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Estrella Starr: [about Penny Lane] She used to run a school for Band-Aids.

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Penny Lane: Vic is a Zeppelin fan.

William Miller: I picked that up.

Penny Lane: He tours with them, but not, you know, with them.

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Vic Munoz: Mr Robert Plant, he signed-signed my t-shirt five minutes ago! Please don't smear it. Oh, dear God. Please don't smear it. But five minutes ago, he touched this pen. He touched this pen!

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Lester Bangs: What are you listening to?

William Miller: Stillwater.

Lester Bangs: Stillwater?

[to himself]

Lester Bangs: Fucking kid's doing drugs.

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Sapphire: William? I forgot to tell you. Your mom called. She says you gotta call home immediately. And she says to tell you, ''I know what's going on.''

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Dick Roswell: You wanna buy a gate?

All in car: Yeah!

Dick Roswell: [Tour bus drives through the gate] You just bought a gate!

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Penny Lane: Hey, when we go to Morocco... I think we should wear completely different clothes... and be completely different people.

William Miller: What will our names be?

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Penny Lane: [to William, who is on the phone with his mother] This is Beth from Denver. She's one of the legendary, original Band Aids - she's clairvoyant!

Beth from Denver: I can't read your mind or anything. I mean, I pick up things here and there. Estrella says hi - She says I can stay in your room.

William Miller: Sure.

Beth from Denver: Great. I've got some... hydroponic pot!

[William covers the phone]

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Vic Munoz: It's all happening. They're here. Zeppelin are here. They are here. They're at the Plaza. Sapphire and Miss Penny Lane are there too. They're all staying under the name Emily Rugburn.

William Miller: Wait. Penny Lane is here?

Vic Munoz: [walking away] Emily Rugburn!

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Dick Roswell: [when their airplane is experiencing severe turbulence] Everyone says it's so glamorous out here.

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Dennis Hope: [on the airplane which is caught in an electrical storm] I once hit a man in Dearborn, Michigan. A hit and run. I hit him and just kept on going. I don't know if he's alive or dead... but I'm sorry. Not a day goes by I don't see his face.

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Russell Hammond: I slept with Marna, Dick.

Jeff Bebe: I did too.

Larry Fellows: I waited until you broke up with her, but me too.

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Sapphire: Opie must die!

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William Miller: What about your mom?

Penny Lane: She always said, "Marry up. Marry someone grand". And that's why she named me "Lady".

William Miller: She named you "Lady?"

Penny Lane: [makes a face] Lady Goodman.

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Ben Fong-Torres: [reading William's story] "I'm flying high over Tupelo, Mississippi... with America's hottest band... and we're all about to die." - Dark, lively.

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Anita Miller: [talking to William at the airport, after his story was rejected by Rolling Stone] You look awful, but it's great. You're living your life. You're free of Mom.

[William makes a face at her]

Anita Miller: Hey, I'll take off work. Let's have an adventure together - you and me - finally. Anywhere you wanna go, anywhere in the world.

Anita Miller: [cut to the Miller's house] This is not my idea of a good time.

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Russell Hammond: [on the airplane during an electrical storm] Doris, we miss you!

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Elaine Miller: Don't take drugs!

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Russell Hammond: [inviting William to join the group before going on stage] Get the enemy!

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Ben Fong-Torres: There's a mojo at the "Daily News" they'll let us use.

William Miller: A "mojo"?

Ben Fong-Torres: A mojo. It's a very modern machine that transmits pages over the telephone. It only takes 18 minutes a page.

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Estrella Starr: Who are you with?

William Miller: Me? I'm with myself.

Estrella Starr: No, who are you with; what band?

Jeff Bebe: I also slept with Leslie

[pauses]

Jeff Bebe: when you were fighting.

Russell Hammond: [Surprised] You slept with Jeff?

Sheldon the Desk Clerk: Yeah, but it didn't count! It was the summer we decided to be free of all rules!

Russell Hammond: [to Jeff] And you say you *LOVE* me?

Jeff Bebe: I don't love you, man! I *NEVER* did! *NONE* of us love you! You act *ABOVE* us, you always have!

Estrella Starr: Finally the truth!

[Russell looks at Larry in shock]

Jeff Bebe: You just held it over us like you *MIGHT* leave, like we're lucky to be with you! And we had to live with it, man! I had to live with you! Now I might *DIE* with you, and it's not fucking fair!

Russell Hammond: [Overwhelmed by the revelations] PLEASE! ENOUGH!

See also

Trivia | Goofs | Crazy Credits | Alternate Versions | Connections | Soundtracks

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