Half-breed Keoma returns to his border hometown after service in the Civil War and finds it under the control of Caldwell, an ex-Confederate raider, and his vicious gang of thugs. To make ... See full summary »
A greedy woman kills her land-owning husband with the aid of her brother. Since the husband's will leaves his land to his nephew, the woman and her brother hire a gunman to eliminate this ... See full summary »
A lone rider comes across a dying soldier, the victim of an Indian attack, who gives him a paper authorizing the payment of $150,000 to the U.S. Army. The rider gathers some colleagues who ... See full summary »
Bandits ambush Capt. Roy Dexter of the U.S. Cavalry while he and his men escort a fortune in Confederate gold coins. Only Dexter survives the attack. He's subsequently sentenced to life in ... See full summary »
Hysterically (in more ways than one) terrible Euro-western
I've seen a lot of westerns, but I've seen few like this one. At first I thought it was a comedy or a parody. It starts off with what has to be the most mind-numbingly awful "theme" song in motion picture history by an off-key singer who stumbles over his words, actually loses his place once--why they didn't just re-record it is beyond me--and not a single line of this opus rhymes. Then a short, chubby, beer-bellied "gunslinger" standing on top of a large boulder calls out some guy walking his horse (!), gets shot for his trouble, slides down the boulder, and in the next shot his body is lying at least 25 feet from it--and it's on flat land! Then, although I didn't think it was possible, the film goes downhill from there. Everybody laughs hysterically all through the movie: the bad guys, the saloon girls, and especially the leader of the bad guys, who has apparently ingested a year's supply of laughing gas because he can't stop roaring with laughter, even as he's shooting everybody within eyesight--civilians, cowboys he meets on the trail, women he's just raped, his own men . . . you name 'em, this guy shoots 'em. And, of course, he does so without reloading his pistol; at one point he fires at least 12 rounds in a row from a six-shot revolver. What's even more hysterical is that he's wearing a hat that is at least two sizes too small for him. It was only after about 15 minutes of watching this atrocity that it finally sunk in that this was NOT a parody or a comedy. The people who made this stinkeroo actually thought they were making a "serious" western. Amazing.
Another curious thing about this movie is the dubbing. We all know that the English dubbing of Italian movies of the time, whether westerns or Hercules-type epics, was atrocious beyond belief, and this one carries on that noble tradition. But even star Cameron Mitchell's voice is dubbed, and not by Mitchell, which is very odd. What's even odder is that Mitchell is obviously speaking English but the English lines the dubber speaks don't match Mitchell's lip movements, which makes no sense at all. But neither does anything else in this relentlessly stupid, senseless idiocy (wait until you get a load of the "masked avenger" who shows up about a quarter of the way through this thing). The "action" scenes are laughable, the cinematography is terrible--it looks like it was shot on an 8mm home movie camera--the "script" is something even Ed Wood would have been too embarrassed to put his name on, the "acting" wouldn't pass muster in a one-day-wonder porn flick. In other words, this movie is not only worthless, it's BEYOND worthless. Shoving your head into a drill press wouldn't be as painful as having to sit through this thing. Don't waste your time.
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