The Item (1999)

User Rating:

3.7/10   

Director:

Dan Clark

Writer:

Dan Clark (writer)

Genre:

Action | Horror

Tagline:

Something is dying to get out.

Plot:

Four felons are contacted by an anonymous client via the internet. They are instructed to go to a remote...

Plot Keywords:

Blood | Surrealism | Monster | Transvestite | Murder

Awards:

3 nominations

Cast

Dawn Marie Ferrara	...	Lauren (as DawnMarie Velasquez)
Dan Clark	...	Alex
Dave Pressler	...	Martin
Dan Lake	...	Fatty
Ron Fitzgerald	...	Dr. Ody
Romy J. Sharf	...	Nurse Nicky
Judy Jean Kwon	...	Rita
Kyle B. Cunningham	...	Joseph
Steven K. Mok	...	Drag Queen #1
Paul Balagot	...	Drag Queen #2
Alexandre Pierre	...	Drag Queen #3
Peter Sean	...	Robin
Alden Bunyan	...	Paulie

MPAA:

Rated R for strong violence/gore, sexuality, some language and drug content.

Runtime:

100 min | USA:97 min (video version)

Country:

USA

Language:

English

Color:

Color

Sound Mix:

Dolby

Certification:

USA:R

Filming Locations:

Barstow, California, USA

Company:

Silver Sage Productions

Movie Connections:

Referenced in Dead Man's Dream (2002)

=--The #1 Worst Movie Ever Made=-

I have seen some very awful horror flicks in my day but I can't even fit this one into that genre actually I don't know what to exactly think of this one. The acting is awful, the story is a disgrace, and it was just overall the worst movie I have ever seen in my life. I first saw this movie around the release date all because a friend told me it was the worst movie ever made and I just had to see it at least once to say I've seen the worst. Needless to say he was right. I felt down right ripped off after wasting my father's hard earned money renting this film. Don't even watch it for free. This is the #1 worst movie I have ever seen. I've waited years and there have been lots of rotten films. But nothing could be compared to this piece of garbage.

I can make a better movie with crap off the top of my head.

See back in the day when the Hama-Yumsum tribe controlled and roamed in the deep forests of southern Appalachia America, a monster was born. But the Hama-Yumsum tribe would soon see a falling of they're nation. After a slave master from the eastern coastline of Virginia had viciously attacked the tribe leader, the tribe leader's daughter was kidnapped, beat, raped, and left for dead. The tribe master swore revenge, but the slave master and his pack of hooligans had traveled further south into North Carolina territory. It was no challenge to the tribe so they began to travel. But by the time they had reached eastern Carolina a giant sex beast erupted from the swamp land and sprayed the tribe with sexual sensation secretions, which made the Indians want to fornicate. So the tribe had forgotten about the tribe leader's daughter because they had created plenty more children. The End.

And that story is 100,000,000,000,000,000XXXXX more interesting than the Item. The Item is by far the worst creation ever filmed, its complete garbage.