What Planet Are You From? (2000)
Graydon: You appear intelligent, but when you open your mouth the effect is spoiled.
Perry Gordon: You're marrying a woman you've never had sex with? Are you insane? Didn't you see 'The Crying Game'? You think she's got the goods under her skirt, you lift it up, it's Oscar Mayer time!
Harold Anderson: I can make a bright light come out of my nose.
Susan Anderson: [Pregnant Susan at home after the doctor's examination of her 6-weeks-old fetus that appears to be already a perfectly formed 4-to-5-month-old fetus, 0:54:48-0:55:03] I'm scared.
Harold Anderson: There's nothing to worry about. He said it was healthy. That's the important thing, right ?
Susan Anderson: Did you see 'Rosemary's Baby' ?
Harold Anderson: 'Rosemary' who ?
Susan Anderson: No, no, it's...
Harold Anderson: You need to rest. Just sit down and don't think about it.
Susan Anderson: Oh, thanks.
Harold Anderson: No problem.
Susan Anderson: I never thought I'd say it, but I can't take any more.
Helen Gordon: You're making a noise.
Harold Anderson: That's my penis. It hums.
Helen Gordon: I guess it doesn't know the words. Well, I can teach it a few.
Title Card: At the far reaches of the Universe lies a planet of men who have advanced technologically beyond the realm of human comprehension. This is no breeding - they are a product of cloning, and their reproductive organs have shrunk and disappeared. All emotions have been bred out of this race and each succeeding generation has become more ambitious and driven than the previous one. They want to rule the Universe, and now they are planning their next takeover from the inside.
Graydon: This planet is 4 solar systems from our own, across the Sea of Bel, at a fixed position of 13-6-90 on sub-center grid 10. It is a solid rich mass, with a dense core of magnetic metallic liquid. The atmosphere is composed of nitrogen, oxygen, and carbon, in amounts 78, 21, and 1% by volume. This is our target. This is Earth. And this is where one of you will serve your planet through the act of pro-creation.
Computer Voice: [rotating hologram] The Earth woman's reproductive organs are located here.
[abdomen lights up]
Computer Voice: The access port is here.
Computer Voice: Insertion in any other access port will not result in pregnancy. To get the woman in a receptive mood for insertion, compliment her on these areas.
[hair, eyes, breasts, buttocks, legs]
Computer Voice: She will also enjoy being told that she smells nice, and that her footwear is stylish.
Graydon: The success of our planet and domination of the universe rests in your hands.
Harold Anderson: Thank you, sir.
Graydon: Now if you'll go with these men, we'll arrange for your transfer, and attach your penis.
Susan Anderson: My mission is to get to know myself so that I can actually end up focusing less on myself, and more on others.
Flight Attendant: There was this strange humming sound coming from his pants.
Roland Jones: From the front or the back?
Susan Anderson: I have $7.35. I'd like to put some of it in a T-bill, some of it into the stock market - and the rest I'd just like to save for a rainy day.
Harold Anderson: I always had a feeling that healing-any-injury thing was bullshit.
Harold Anderson: [marriage vows] Susan, when I married you the first time I only did it to get in your pants. Now I'm doing it because I want to spend the rest of my life getting into your pants.