5.7/10
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21 user 3 critic

If You Only Knew (2000)

PG-13 | | Romance, Comedy | 21 June 2002 (Italy)
A romantic comedy about a young man who pretends to be gay in order to rent an apartment with his dream girl. His plan backfires when she keeps trying to set him up with her male friends.

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Cast

Cast overview, first billed only:
...
Parker Concorde
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Samantha
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Jack (as James LeGros)
...
Kate
...
Matt
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Joanne
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Troy (as Miguel Nuñez)
David Markey ...
Tom
Tiffany Fraser ...
Holly
Joey Travolta ...
Newspaper Editor
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Kim (as Rainbow Mars)
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Gino
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Bess
Dayna Danika ...
Bag Lady
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Trippy Guy
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Storyline

Parker Concorde, a freelance writer by trade currently working for the Psychic Pals phone service to make ends meet, is out of a home after accidentally starting a fire to his New York City apartment. Barely able to stand sacking out at his noisy pal Jack's place, he finally finds new digs with Samantha, who only rooms with gay men. With currently no other place to live, Parker allows her mistake over his sexual orientation to pass uncorrected, which later leads her to believe she's helping him out by setting him up on dates with her gay friends. Truth is - he's falling hard for her, and somewhere between dealing with her philandering boyfriend and dating other men he needs to set the record straight. Written by statmanjeff

Plot Summary | Add Synopsis

Genres:

Romance | Comedy

Motion Picture Rating (MPAA)

Rated PG-13 for sexual content and some language | See all certifications »
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Details

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Release Date:

21 June 2002 (Italy)  »

Also Known As:

Who's on First  »

Filming Locations:

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Did You Know?

Trivia

FBI Agent McCurley is given the same name as actor Doyle McCurley who plays him. The lost boy at the airport is named Alex, which is also the same name as actor Alexander Sferrazza who plays him. See more »

Goofs

Sam always seems to have a paint roller on hand to paint over her canvases and obliterate her work. The paint is always fresh and ready to apply at a moment's notice, never dried out, which is surprising since her decisions to paint over her canvases are always spontaneous, never pre-planned (which ready-to-go paint rollers would imply). See more »

Quotes

Jack: [as Boris, Parker's Russian boyfriend, checking out Sam's paintings] Oh, it's very nice, um, pictures.
Samantha: In our country we call them paintings.
Jack: [checking out her behind] Panties.
Samantha: No, paintings.
Jack: Panties.
Samantha: [correctively] PAIN-TINGS.
Jack: Pain-ties.
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Crazy Credits

Outtakes are shown during the closing credits See more »

Connections

References I Dream of Jeannie (1965) See more »

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User Reviews

 
drivel
5 March 2002 | by (New York) – See all my reviews

One of the worst romantic comedies (nay, worst movies) I've ever seen. Boy (who works as a phone psychic!) must pretend to be gay to move into apartment with woman of his dreams. Hilarity does not ensue. Boredom, light gay-bashing, and horrible dialogue do. If you read Brad Meltzer and like his crappy dialogue, you'll like this movie.

Be smart. Avoid this. if you see it, destroy the copy.


4 of 7 people found this review helpful.  Was this review helpful to you?

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