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4 out of 5 people found the following review useful:

I guess it is gross, but it is BAD too

2/10
Author: cruelshoes1 from Salem, Oregon
4 November 2007

*** This review may contain spoilers ***

This is a regular video movie... not a film. Pure VHS camcorder. Yes there is obvious hamburger meat, and really weird deaths (one includes a mouse-trap, and most involve power tools). This film is actually available on DVD via the Decrepit Crypt of Nightmares 50 Movie Pack. The whole thing looks like someone had a High School haunted house set available and decided to film in it (or an actual low quality wax museum... there is a wax dummies that are obviously based on Hellraiser, Child's Play and The Exorcist sitting in there). For Gorehounds, there are some Chainsaw Massacre moments, and Wizard of Gore-esquire moments... but that is giving this film WAY too much credit There are some gross out moments. Way too much yelling, and not enough terror. There are some cool cheesy 80's synthesizer score moments (totally ruined by amateur Halloween make-up). The credits will show you that the film makers did not take themselves seriously. Overall:

Really Bad acting (trying not to laugh, and sometimes trying to be humorous). Most looks like a Junior High stage production.

Not funny Bad.

Just Bad.

Really bad acting.

No nudity (a silky camisole is all you get).

"Special effects" include a Strobe Light, and the previously mentioned Hamburger (plus Spaghetti and Liver)!

**Possible spoiler*** Oh, I have to say something positive.... um, I liked the door opening sequence at the end, with its interesting camera angles... but the cheesy dream within a dream thing was, well, cheesy... but not good, fun cheesy. ***End Spoiler***

I wrote this while I watched the film... and it was filmed in a "Haunted House" called "The Devil's Dark Side Haunted House".

2 stars, for the interesting door opening sequence. Thanks!

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5 out of 8 people found the following review useful:

Had to turn it off.....

Author: KobraPower from United States
1 February 2008

The opening credits are way too long first of all. Then we see a man chasing this woman around. We then see a moron caught by a human sized Victor mouse trap eating a human head. Then the man chasing the woman kills that guy with a Skilsaw slicing and dicing him into pieces. We then end up in a Wax Museum with a bunch of retarded characters. After a few more minutes of that, I turned it off. I probably turned it off at about 15 minutes or so. I did not rate it because it would be unfair for me to rate a movie that I only watched 15 minutes of. I don't think it was going to be any better, I don't think I would have rated this more than a 3 or 4.

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1 out of 1 people found the following review useful:

For Connisewers

1/10
Author: MarplotRedux from United States
29 June 2012

The traditional dictionary definition of "asylum" is "a place where one can be safe" – a shelter, sanctuary, refuge. Back during the 1930's when I was a kid, my folks would take me to a wildlife sanctuary, and I'd get to feed stale bread to ducks. Therefore, one might assume that a nightmare asylum would be a place where people who suffered from nightmares could go to have pleasant sleep. Or, since this was a fantasy movie, perhaps a place where repetitive nightmares could go to obtain some much needed rest. For instance, I repeatedly dream that it's the first week of the academic year, that there are several classes that it's very important I attend, that I don't know where or when they are, and that the university has a policy of never releasing such information. That could use a rest, as well as the one where I'm teaching a class with no idea of what I'm supposed to be teaching. However, this wasn't such a movie. Unlike other reviewers, I watched it through to the end, though with the sound turned down because I couldn't make out what the nice folks in it were saying anyway and my dog needed her nap. The set was super low-budget, which I liked: mostly a cellar with steam pipes and the usual corridors that lead to dead ends. If the cast had appeared on the old Dragnet show, each member would have been arrested for overacting. The theme music should have been People, people who ear people / Aren't the most popular people in the world. The hamburger and various scrap meats seemed fresh enough, and leaner than what one usually finds in supermarkets, while the spaghetti seemed sufficiently cooked but not overcooked. I hope that the cast and staff salvaged most of their gore grub afterwards. The fight and dismemberment choreographies were frantic, unconvincing and boring. Especially those of a large, bewigged gentleman who waved a huge knife and his small, skinny gentleman pal. Since this film was made in the early 90's the pal didn't seem to be a Significant Other. That was kind of the author, producer and director.

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3 out of 6 people found the following review useful:

Awesomely Bad !

3/10
Author: Derek Williams (derekwilliams1974@yahoo.com) from New York, NY USA
1 June 2009

"Nightmare Asylum" is part of a DVD collection called "Decrepit Crypt of Nightmares". I purchased the set with my eyes wide open, I knew the films in the collection were made by a group of East coast filmmakers who were trying to create an alternative b-movie industry and with limited resources. Most of these films are actually not bad. "Nightmare Asylum" on the other hand...

Yes, it was pretty bad. I only endured the whole thing because I don't like not finishing something. I started to watch it and was determined to view it to the very end. Strangely enough, once I had accepted that this was a badly made film with horrendous acting, I actually found myself enjoying it somewhat.

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1 out of 4 people found the following review useful:

Watch Tim and Eric Awesome Show Great Job!

10/10
Author: Jeff Arnett from United States
19 June 2008

*** This review may contain spoilers ***

first of all i would like to say wow.. this film looked like it was filmed in a crappy local haunted house. I've never saw so much hamburger in one place. there is no plot and if you can understand the dialogue then please comment on it. there is more yelling than in a billy mays infomercial. the film never explains where the actors are or how they got there.the lead fat redneck villain and his sidekick ,(who looks like Jeff foxworthy) are amazing. as far as a comic duo, I've never seen better.the ending is just a cop out for not knowing how to end the film. if you want a good laugh then watch the fist 15 minutes and fast forward to the end and you wont miss a thing....Casio's rule

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