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Better Than Chocolate (1999) Poster

Quotes

Paul: Are you sure you like boys?

Carla: Soft centers, hard centers. I like ALL the chocolates in the box.

Frances: Seriously, Mr. Marcus, the Supreme Court has declared that anal sex is to gay male sex what Mozart is to classical music.

Mr. Marcus: Miss Turner, we are not here to discuss classical music. I myself am a huge Mozart fan, but...

Frances: Look, the fucking Supreme Court has declared this natural. It is not obscene.

Mr. Marcus: In case you haven't noticed this is not the Supreme Court. We're here in Customs and I have a job to do.

Frances: We're just following orders, are we? Asshole.

Mr. Marcus: From your perspective, that must be a compliment of Mozartian proportions.

Maggie: You're not bi-sexual, Carla - you're omni-sexual! You're like that tornado in the Wizard of Oz, sweeping up everything in your path.

Carla: Customs held up another order of books at the border. They're claiming the books are pornographic... hello? Which they aren't. Well, maybe "Butches in Chains" is, but so what?

Lila: I read a study and after the age of forty a woman's chances of having sex are diminished by eighty percent. SO, after fifty, God help you. And since I probably won't be having sex again, chocolate is the only pleasure left for me.

Carla: Ouch, it's the plight of the bisexual. Gay girls won't play with you.

Lila: So, you're working in a discount bookstore, huh?

Maggie: I am? Oh! "Ten Percent."

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Tony: That's funny... Get out!

Kim: I am out.

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Mr. L.B. Marcus: The books have been classified as obscene and will not be allowed through the border. Now, if I can just get you to sign here.

Frances: Little Red Riding Hood is obscene?

Mr. Marcus: Well, we, we thought it was something else.

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Safe sex advocate: I'm off Thursday on the "Love that latex" Safe sex tour. I'm giving safe sex demonstrations from Tuktoyaktuk to Yellowknife.

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Judy: I'm Jeremy.

Lila: You're a man?

Judy: No, no, no, no, no, not really. Not ever. I was born into a man's body but I've always been a woman and well, after the final surgery...

Lila: I think I need a little drink.

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Lila: [asking about Maggie] What is going on with her these days?

Judy: You'd have to ask her that, Lila.

Lila: So, there is something going on?

Judy: Oh, well, she's nineteen. There's always something going on when you're nineteen.

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Carla: Boys like toys too, you know.

Paul: This is for boys?

Carla: Um-hmmmmmm.

Paul: What is it?

Carla: A butt plug.

[Paul abruptly drops it]

Carla: It's okay honey, I bleach it.

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[Frances is about to attack the homophobic customs official; Bernice, a security guard, steps in]

Bernice: Do we have a problem in here?

Frances: Bernice? Oh my god, I haven't seen you since the women's music festival!

[Bernice hustles Frances and Maggie out the door]

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Frances: Of course it's obscene! That's the point!

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[Kim and Maggie have just stopped a woman from beating up Judy]

Kim: Say you're sorry!

Woman in Washroom: I'm sorry!

Judy: ..."I"m sorry, *ma"am*."

Woman in Washroom: I'm... sorry... ma'am.

Judy: Thank you.

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[Maggie and Tony are washing the sidewalk in front of 10% Books]

Religious Zealot: Jesus loves you!

Maggie: Oh, thank you!

[to Tony]

Maggie: So, do you think we've gotten "Die, dyke, die" off the sidewalk?

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Lila: Kim, dear, do you have a boyfriend?

Kim: [Politely] No, I don't.

Kim: [Meaningful look in Maggie's direction] Funny, that.

[Maggie starts to giggle]

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Kim: That's not a kick... that's a one-two punch!

Tony: That'll put hair on your chest.

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Maggie: What are you doing?

Kim: Better homes and dildos!

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Tony: [to Maggie] Can you believe she's never been in my coffee shop? Tell her how great it is.

Kim: Come on, I just got here. I haven't been anywhere.

Tony: Come on! Tell her how great it is, fuck!

Maggie: It's great. Fuck.

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See also

Trivia | Goofs | Crazy Credits | Alternate Versions | Connections | Soundtracks

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