2.5/10
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Simon Sez (1999)

PG-13 | | Action, Comedy | 24 September 1999 (USA)
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Basketball superstar Dennis Rodman stars as a hip Interpol agent attempting to defeat the deadly plans of a crazed arms dealer.

Director:

(as Kevin Elders)

Writers:

(story), (story) | 2 more credits »
Bottom Rated Movies #72 | 1 win. See more awards »

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Director: Hark Tsui
Stars: Jean-Claude Van Damme, Dennis Rodman, Mickey Rourke
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Cast

Cast overview, first billed only:
...
Simon
...
Nick Miranda
...
Micro
Ricky Harris ...
Macro
Filip Nikolic ...
Michael Gabrielli (as Filip Nikolitch)
...
Claire Fence
Emma Wiklund ...
The Dancer (as Emma Sjoberg)
Jérôme Pradon ...
Ashton
Xin Xin Xiong ...
Xin Xin (Bodyguard)
Henry Courseaux ...
Bernard Gabrielli
Igor De Savitch ...
Colonel Jacques Telore
Clayton Day ...
William Fence
Jean-Michel Dagory ...
Frenais
Pierre Madengar ...
Etiophian Vendor
...
British Reporter / Cartoon Voice (as Kevin Elders)
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Storyline

Basketball superstar Dennis Rodman stars as a hip Interpol agent attempting to defeat the deadly plans of a crazed arms dealer.

Plot Summary | Plot Synopsis

Taglines:

It Ain't Over Til ... (Simon Sez) See more »

Genres:

Action | Comedy

Motion Picture Rating (MPAA)

Rated PG-13 for violence and sexuality | See all certifications »
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Details

Country:

| |

Language:

Release Date:

24 September 1999 (USA)  »

Also Known As:

Rescate explosivo  »

Box Office

Budget:

$10,000,000 (estimated)

Opening Weekend:

$185,472 (USA) (24 September 1999)

Gross:

$185,472 (USA) (24 September 1999)
 »

Company Credits

Show detailed on  »

Technical Specs

Runtime:

Sound Mix:

|

Color:

Aspect Ratio:

1.85 : 1
See  »
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Did You Know?

Trivia

Robert Downey Jr. was replaced with Dane Cook because Downey dropped out and they needed someone within a few days. See more »

Goofs

Simon shoves a bad guy (wearing a red jacket) out an office window. The guy goes out backward. The next shot, from above, shows a dummy falling face-first. The next shot shows the stuntman falling backward again, obviously on a safety wire. See more »

Quotes

Ashton: Stupid bee! You're just a fly with a stinger on your arse!
See more »

Connections

References Star Trek (1966) See more »

Soundtracks

Too Hype (Say What?)
Written and Performed by Brian Tyler
See more »

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User Reviews

 
Simon Sez cover your eyes and ears from this shitstorm...
3 July 2006 | by (El Paso!) – See all my reviews

(r#40)

TV 3, a "quality" TV channel here in Sweden, recently decided to have a bottom 100-marathon and showed BOTH Gigli and this turkey during the same night. Now, I don't know any of TV3's producers personally, but it seems to me like they're torturing us rather than entertaining us. Simon Sez is a "comedy" so offensively stupid, it makes the Scary Movie series look like Bergman films. It seems to have been written by six year olds, for six year olds, but the foul language and violence would be too much for kids, so what was the target demographic, anyway? Oh right, idiots.

Dennis Rodman, professional basketball player (which is always a good sign) stars as Simon, a secret agent of some kind. He takes part in a kidnapping gone wrong. I won't waste any more time explaining the plot because it couldn't have taken more than a few seconds to write it. Simon is accompanied on his mission by annoying white sidekick Nick Miranda (played by excruciatingly unfunny Dane Cook), who desperately wants to be Jim Carrey, and a sexy Emma Sjöberg.

This is not a good movie. It's over-flooded by dumb action, hilariously retarded lines, and annoying characters. My favourite is the English/French/something villain Jérôme Pradon who wants to blow up the Eiffel Tower ("Why? Because it's big and it's beautiful and I'm tired of looking at it!"). Best line since "Frankly, my dear, I don't give a damn". Seriously.

Even the special effects suck. Avoid! And TV3, how about a Coleman Francis marathon next Sunday?


11 of 14 people found this review helpful.  Was this review helpful to you?

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