Linda gets a visit from Shirley Twitch,a wardress when Linda was at the Eva Braun borstal for girls and who is now down and out. Linda allows her to pitch a tent in the back garden,which she turns into a camp site and even Suze and Jez decide to spend a holiday there. Tom is excited for another reason since he has written a play for his heart throb Simon Shepherd,who graces him with a visit.
Tom has a one-line walk on part as a lollipop man in 'Salmon',a surreal Japanese play supposedly starring Tom Cruise and staged in a converted fire station. After he and Linda have swapped school stories in the dressing room,where he breaks a sink, he forgets his one line and,billed for the sink,he and Linda have to escape down the fireman's pole.
Following the deaths of his foster parents, Zippy, the boy Linda gave up for adoption as a teenager,calls to see her and takes her out for a make-over. Unfortunately they do not really bond and after Tom has delivered Suze's baby boy - videoed by Beryl to send to 'You've Been Framed' - in his presence, Zippy makes his escape,declaring that "You're all freaks."
Tom has a part in a medical soap called 'Doctor Deaf' but for Linda the journey to hospital is a reality after arguing with a bus conductor,falling off the bus into a shop window and ending up in casualty with a saucepan stuck on her head. She is diagnosed with reversed body dysmorphic disorder - which accounts for why she erroneously thinks she is beautiful. When Tom comes to collect her he finds one of the doctors is old school contemporary Bart,who once put it about that he was a cross-dresser so Tom punches him before leaving with Linda - who still has the pan on ...
Tom is offered a part in a musical so he takes singing lessons from outrageous Heidi Honeycombe,who dresses like,and gets on with, Linda. Linda is offered a job modelling on a cat-walk. However Linda accidentally sprays deodorant into Tom's mouth,which prevents him from speaking or singing so he does the same to her.
When Suze suspects Jez of having an affair,Linda is only too happy to go undercover to find him out. However she has a more pressing problem as Tom has won the part of a bellboy in the soap opera 'Crossroads',which will involve him leaving London. In order to persuade him to stay Linda pretends to have a terminal illness but he sees through the ruse and leaves her.