Theoden: A great host, you say?
Aragorn: All Isengard is emptied.
Theoden: How many?
Aragorn: Ten thousand strong at least.
Theoden: [astonished] Ten thousand?
Aragorn: It is an army bred for a single purpose: to destroy the world of men. They will be here by nightfall.
Theoden: Let them come.
Gollum: [to Sam] Stupid, fat hobbit.
Gimli: Oh come on, we can take 'em.
Aragorn: It's a long way.
Gimli: Toss me.
Gimli: I cannot jump the distance, you'll have to toss me.
[pauses, looks up at Aragorn]
Gimli: Don't tell the elf.
Aragorn: Not a word.
[a wall of soldiers line the ramparts - the top of Gimli's helm barely peeks over the top]
Gimli: [to Legolas] You could have picked a better spot.
Pippin: It's talking, Merry. The tree is talking.
Gandalf: The battle of Helm's Deep is over; the battle for Middle Earth is about to begin.
Gollum: We wants it, we needs it. Must have the precious. They stole it from us. Sneaky little hobbitses. Wicked, tricksy, false!
Smeagol: No. Not master!
Gollum: Yes, precious, false! They will cheat you, hurt you, LIE.
Smeagol: Master is our friend!
Gollum: You don't have any friends; nobody likes you!
Smeagol: I'm not listening... I'm not listening...
Gollum: You're a liar and a thief.
Smeagol: Go away!
Gollum: "Go away?"
[Gollum laughs as Smeagol begins crying]
Smeagol: I hate you, I hate you.
Gollum: Where would you be without me, gollum, gollum? I saved us! It was me! We survived because of me!
Smeagol: [stops crying] Not anymore.
Gollum: What did you say?
Smeagol: Master looks after us now. We don't need you anymore.
Smeagol: Leave now, and never come back!
Smeagol: Leave now, and never come back!
[Gollum screams in frustration]
Smeagol: LEAVE! NOW! AND NEVER COME BACK!
[Gollum is silent]
Smeagol: [looks around] We told him to go away... and away he goes, Precious! Gone, gone, gone! Smeagol is free!
Gimli: [Orcs begin their attack on Helm's Deep] Send them to me!
Gandalf: You cannot pass!
Gandalf: I am a servant of the Secret Fire, wielder of the flame of Anor. Go back to the shadow. The dark fire will not avail you, flame of Udun! You shall not pass!
Galadriel: The power of the enemy is growing. Sauron will use his puppet Saruman to destroy the people of Rohan. Isengard has been unleashed. The Eye of Sauron now turns to Gondor, the last free kingdom of men. His war on this country will come swiftly. He senses the Ring is close. The strength of the Ringbearer is failing. In his heart, Frodo begins to understand. The quest will claim his life. You know this. You have foreseen it. It is the risk we all took. In the gathering dark, the will of the Ring grows strong. It works hard now to find its way back into the hands of men. Men, who are so easily seduced by its power. The young captain of Gondor has but to extend his hand, take the Ring for his own and the world will fall. It is close now, so close to achieving its goal. For Sauron will have dominion over all life on this Earth, even unto the ending of the world. The time of the elves is over. Do we leave Middle-Earth to its fate? Do we let them stand alone?
Gandalf: The fate of the world will now be decided.
Theoden: So it begins.
Gandalf: Gandalf? Yes... that was what they used to call me. Gandalf the Gray. That was my name.
Gandalf: *I* am Gandalf the White. And I come back to you now - at the turn of the tide.
Legolas: A red sun rises, blood has been spilled this night.
Gollum: [singing] The rock and pool, is nice and cool, so juicy sweet. Our only wish,
[he whacks the fish on the rock]
Gollum: to catch a fish,
Gollum: so juicy sweet.
Merry: I think we might have made a mistake leaving the Shire, Pippin.
Saruman: If the wall is breached, Helm's Deep will fall.
Wormtongue: Even if it is breached, it will take a number beyond reckoning, thousands, to storm the keep.
Saruman: Tens of thousands.
Wormtongue: But, my lord, there is no such force.
[they go out onto the balcony, and see an army of ten thousand Uruk-hai]
Eomer: What business does an elf, man, and a dwarf have in the Ridder-Mark? Speak quickly.
Gimli: Give me your name, horse-master, and I shall give you mine.
Eomer: [dismounts] I would cut off your head, dwarf, if it stood but a little higher from the ground.
Legolas: [draws his bow and aims at arrow at Eomer's throat] You would die before your stroke fell.
Frodo: I can't do this, Sam.
Sam: I know. It's all wrong. By rights we shouldn't even be here. But we are. It's like in the great stories, Mr. Frodo. The ones that really mattered. Full of darkness and danger, they were. And sometimes you didn't want to know the end. Because how could the end be happy? How could the world go back to the way it was when so much bad had happened? But in the end, it's only a passing thing, this shadow. Even darkness must pass. A new day will come. And when the sun shines it will shine out the clearer. Those were the stories that stayed with you. That meant something, even if you were too small to understand why. But I think, Mr. Frodo, I do understand. I know now. Folk in those stories had lots of chances of turning back, only they didn't. They kept going. Because they were holding on to something.
Frodo: What are we holding onto, Sam?
Sam: That there's some good in this world, Mr. Frodo... and it's worth fighting for.
Gollum: We be nice to them, if they be nice to us.
Sam: We're not going to wait for you. Come on.
Smeagol: Master. Master looks after us. Master wouldn't hurt us.
Gollum: Master broke his promise.
Smeagol: Don't ask Smeagol. Poor, poor Smeagol.
Gollum: Master betrayed us. Wicked. Tricksy, False. We ought to wring his filthy little neck. Kill him! Kill him! Kill them both! And then we take the precious... and we be the master!
Smeagol: But the fat Hobbit, he knows. Eyes always watching.
Gollum: Then we stabs them out. Put out his eyeses, make him crawl.
Smeagol: Yes. Yes. Yes.
Gollum: Kill them both.
Smeagol: Yes. No! No! It's too risky. It's too risky.
Sam: Where is he? Where has he gone? Hey, Gollum! Where are you?
Gollum: We could let *her* do it.
Smeagol: Yes. She could do it.
Gollum: Yes, precious, she could. And then we takes it once they're dead.
Smeagol: Once they're dead. Shh.
[Comes out of hiding]
Smeagol: Come on Hobbits. Long ways to go yet. Smeagol will show the way.
Gollum: Follow me.
Sam: What we need is a few good taters.
Gollum: What's taters, precious? What's taters, eh?
Sam: *Po-tay-toes!* Boil 'em, mash 'em, stick 'em in a stew... Lovely big golden chips with a nice piece of fried fish.
[Gollum makes a noise of disgust while sticking his tongue out]
Sam: Even you couldn't say no to that.
Gollum: Oh yes we could. Spoilin' nice fish. Give it to us raw and w-r-r-riggling; you keep nasty chips.
Sam: You're hopeless.
Sam: There are dead things! Dead faces in the water.
Gollum: All dead... all rotten. Elves and men and orcses. A great battle, long ago. The Dead Marshes... yes, that is their name.
Gollum: So bright... so beautiful... ah, Precious.
Frodo: What did you say?
Gollum: Master should be resting, Master needs to keep up his strength.
Frodo: [standing up] Who are you?
Gollum: Mustn't ask us, not it's business. Gollum, gollum.
Frodo: Gandalf told me you were one of the River-folk.
Gollum: Cold be heart and hand and bone. Cold be travelers far from home.
Frodo: [next to Gollum] He said your life was a sad story.
Gollum: They do not see what lies ahead, when Sun has faded and Moon is dead.
Frodo: [in front of Gollum] You were not so very different from a Hobbit once, were you?
[Gollum looks up at him]
Gollum: What did you call me?
Frodo: That was your name once, wasn't it?
Gollum: My name? My name... Smeagol.
Gollum: He wants the precious. Always he is looking for it. And the precious is wanting to go back to him... But we mustn't let him have it.
Gandalf: All our hopes now lie with two little hobbits, somewhere in the wilderness.
Sam: Hey, Stinker! Don't go getting too far ahead.
Frodo: Why do you do that?
Frodo: Call him names, run him down all the time.
Sam: Because... because that's what he is, Mr. Frodo. There's naught left in him but lies and deceit. It's the ring he wants; it's all he cares about.
Frodo: You have no idea what it did to him... what it's still doing to him. I want to help him, Sam.
Frodo: Because I have to believe he can come back.
Sam: You can't save him, Mr. Frodo.
Frodo: [snaps] What do you know about it? Nothing!... I'm sorry, Sam. I don't know why I said that.
Sam: I do. It's the ring. You can't take your eyes off it; I've seen you. You're not eating. You barely sleep. It's taken ahold of you, Mr. Frodo. You have to fight it.
Frodo: I know what I have to do, Sam. The ring was entrusted to *me*. It's my task, mine, my own!
Sam: Can't you hear yourself? Don't you know who you sound like?
[following Gollum down the path]
Sam: I wonder if we'll ever be put into songs or tales.
Frodo: [turns around] What?
Sam: I wonder if people will ever say, 'Let's hear about Frodo and the Ring.' And they'll say 'Yes, that's one of my favorite stories. Frodo was really courageous, wasn't he, Dad?' 'Yes, my boy, the most famousest of hobbits. And that's saying a lot.'
Frodo: [continue walking] You've left out one of the chief characters - Samwise the Brave. I want to hear more about Sam.
[stops and turns to Sam]
Frodo: Frodo wouldn't have got far without Sam.
Sam: Now Mr. Frodo, you shouldn't make fun; I was being serious.
Frodo: So was I.
[they continue to walk]
Sam: Samwise the Brave...
Aragorn: Farmers, ferriers, stable boys. These are no soldiers.
Gimli: Most have seen too many winters.
Legolas: Or too few.
Gandalf: The veiling shadow that glowers in the East takes shape. Sauron will suffer no rival. From the summit of Barad-dur his eye watches ceaselessly. But he is not so mighty yet that he is above fear. Doubt ever gnaws at him. The rumor has reached him. The heir of Numenor still lives. Sauron fears you, Aragorn. He fears what you may become. And so he will strike hard and fast at the world of Men. He will use his puppet Saruman to destroy Rohan. War is coming. Rohan must defend itself, and therein lies our first challenge, for Rohan is weak and ready to fall. The King's mind is enslaved; it's an old device of Saruman's. His hold over King Theoden is now very strong. Sauron and Saruman are tightening the noose. But, for all their cunning, we have one advantage. The Ring remains hidden. And that we should seek to destroy it has not yet entered their darkest dreams. And so the weapon of the Enemy is moving towards Mordor in the hands of a Hobbit. Each day brings it closer to the fires of Mount Doom. We must trust now in Frodo. Everything depends now upon speed and upon the secrecy of his quest. Do not regret your decision to leave him. Frodo must finish this task alone.
Aragorn: He's not alone. Sam went with him.
Gandalf: Did he? Did he indeed? Good. Yes, very good.
Theoden: When last I looked, Théoden, not Aragorn, was king of Rohan.
Gollum: But, the fat hobbit. He knows. Eyes always watching.
Gandalf: Look to my coming on the first light of the fifth day, at dawn look to the east.
Aragorn: [In Elvish] Show them no mercy... for you shall receive none!
Gimli: It's true you don't see many dwarf women. And in fact, they are so alike in voice and appearance, that they are often mistaken for dwarf men.
Aragorn: [whispering] It's the beards.
Gimli: And this in turn has given rise to the belief that there are no dwarf women, and that dwarves just spring out of holes in the ground!
Gimli: Which is, of course, ridiculous.
Sam: Who are they?
Gollum: Wicked men. Servants of Sauron. They are called to Mordor. The Dark One is gathering all armies to him. It won't be long now. He will soon be ready.
Sam: Ready to do what?
Gollum: To make his war. The last war that will cover all the world in shadow.
Frodo: There is no promise you can make that I can trust.
Theoden: So much death. What can men do against such reckless hate?
Aragorn: Ride out with me. Ride out and meet them.
Theoden: For death and glory.
Aragorn: For Rohan. For your people.
Theoden: The Horn of Helm Hammerhand will sound in the deep, one last time!
Gandalf: The courtesy of your hall is somewhat lessened of late Théoden, King.
Gandalf: [to Grima] Be silent. Keep your forked tongue behind your teeth. I did not pass through fire and death to bandy crooked words with a witless worm.
Saruman: Together, my lord Sauron, we shall rule this Middle-earth. The old world will burn in the fires of industry. Forests will fall. A new order will rise. We will drive the machine of war with the sword and the spear and the iron fist of the orc.
Merry: [to the suggestion of returning home] The fires of Isengard will spread, and the forests of Tuckborough and Buckland will burn. And all that was once great and good in this world will be gone. There won't *be* a Shire, Pippin.
Gimli: Bring your pretty face to my axe.
Ugluk: Looks like meat's back on the menu, boys.
Theoden: Crops can be re-sown, homes re-built. Within these walls... we will outlast them.
Aragorn: They do not come to destroy Rohan's crops or villages. They come to destroy its people. Down to the last child.
Theoden: What will you have me do? Look at my men. Their courage hangs by a thread.
Theoden: Where is the horse and the rider? Where is the horn that was blowing? They have passed like rain on the mountain, like wind in the meadow. The days have gone down in the West behind the hills into shadow. How did it come to this?
Gandalf: Three hundred lives of men I have walked this earth and now I have no time.
Gollum: We swears to serve the master of the precious. We will swear on... on... the precious!
Theoden: Why should I welcome you, Gandalf Stormcrow?
Wormtongue: A just question, my liege. Late is the hour in which this conjurer chooses to appear. "Lathspell" I name him. Ill news is an ill guest.
Gollum: Don't follow the lights.
Galadriel: The time of the Elves is over. Do we leave Middle-earth to its fate? Do we let them stand alone?
Haldir: I bring word from Lord Elrond of Rivendell. An Alliance once existed between Elves and Men. Long ago we fought and died together. We come to honor that allegiance.
Aragorn: Mae govannen, Haldir. You are most welcome.
Haldir: We are proud to fight alongside Men once more.
Gollum: He is drawing all evil to him.
Faramir: [from the Extended Edition] The enemy? His sense of duty was no less than yours, I deem. You wonder what his name is, where he comes from, and if he really was evil at heart. What lies or threats led him on this long march from home, and would he not rather have stayed there... in peace? War will make corpses of us all.
Aragorn: You have some skill with a blade.
Eowyn: The women of this country learned long ago, those without swords can still die upon them. I fear neither death nor pain.
Aragorn: What do you fear, my lady?
Eowyn: A cage. To stay behind bars until use and old age accept them and all chance of valor has gone beyond recall or desire.
Aragorn: You are a daughter of kings, a shield maiden of Rohan. I do not think that will be your fate.
Treebeard: [after seeing the torn-down forest around Isengard] Saruman! A wizard should know better!
Treebeard: There is no curse in Elvish, Entish, or the tongues of men for this treachery.
Pippin: Look, the trees! They're moving!
Merry: Where are they going?
Treebeard: They have business with the Orcs. My business is with Isengard tonight, with rock and stone.
[Ents emerge from the woods, following Treebeard]
Treebeard: Hroom, hm, come, my friends. The Ents are going to war. It is likely that we go to our doom. The last march of the Ents.
Faramir: I think at last we understand one another, Frodo Baggins.
Madril: You know the laws of our country - the laws of your father. If you let them go your life will be forfeit.
Faramir: Then it is forfeit. Release them.
Gandalf: There is no way out of that ravine, Théoden is walking into a trap.
Gollum: Sméagol... Why does he cry, Sméagol?
Smeagol: Cruel men hurts us. Master tricksed us.
Gollum: Of course he did. I told you he was tricksy. I told you he was false.
Smeagol: Master is our friend... our friend.
Gollum: Master betrayed us.
Smeagol: No, not it's business. Leave us alone.
Gollum: Filthy little hobbites. They stole it from us.
Smeagol: No... No.
Faramir: What did they steal?
Gollum: Myyy PRECIOUSSS.
Sam: Mr. Frodo, put the ring on; just this once, disappear.
Frodo: I can't... You were right, Sam. The ring is taking me. If I put it on he will find me.
Frodo: Maybe he does deserve to die, but now that I see him I do pity him.
Frodo: Stop! This creature is bound to me and I to him. He is our guide.
Treebeard: We have just agreed...
[Merry and Pippin lean in]
Treebeard: I have told your names to the Entmoot, and we have agreed you are not orcs.
Pippin: Well, that's good news.
Gimli: Whatever luck you live by... let's hope it lasts the night.
Legolas: You're friends are with you, Aragorn.
Gimli: Let's hope they last the night...
Treebeard: You must understand, young Hobbit, it takes a long time to say anything in Old Entish. And we never say anything unless it is worth taking a long time to say.
Merry: It's been going for hours.
Pippin: They must have decided something by now.
Treebeard: Decided? No, we have just finished saying "Good Morning".
Merry: But it's night time already! You can't take forever!
Treebeard: Now, don't be hasty, master Merriadoc.
Merry: We're running out of time!
Saruman: Rohan, my lord, is ready to fall.
Treebeard: [about orcs] They come with fire, they come with axes... gnawing, biting, breaking, hacking, burning. Destroyers and usurpers, curse them.
Treebeard: My home is deep in the forest near the roots of the mountains.
Treebeard: I promised Gandalf I would keep you safe and safe is where I'll keep you.
Gimli: You'll find more cheer in a graveyard.
Treebeard: We Ents cannot hold back this storm. We must weather such things as we have always done.
Merry: How can that be your decision?
Treebeard: This is not our war.
Merry: But you're part of this world, aren't you?... You must help... please.
Treebeard: Many of these trees were my friends. Creatures I had known from nut or acorn.
Pippin: I'm sorry, Treebeard.
Treebeard: They had voices of their own. Saruman! A wizard should know better!
Gandalf: Breathe the free air again, my friend.
Theoden: [stands up from the throne] Dark have been my dreams of late.
[looks at his hands]
Gandalf: Your fingers would remember their old strength better... if they grasped your sword.
Theoden: I know your face, Eowyn.
[from extended version]
Sam: Can you see the bottom?
Frodo: No. Don't look down, Sam, just keep going!
Sam: [drops a small box] Ouagh! Catch It! Grab it, Mr. Frodo!
[Frodo catches it, loses his grip and then lands on the ground]
Frodo: I think I found the bottom.
Sam: It's not natural. None of it.
Frodo: What's in this?
Sam: Nothin'. Just a bit of seasoning. I thought maybe if we was havin' a roast chicken one night or something...
Frodo: Roast chicken?
Sam: You never know.
Gimli: [out of breath] I'm wasted on cross-country! We Dwarves are natural sprinters, very dangerous over short distances.
Eowyn: Leave me alone, snake!
Wormtongue: Oh, but you are alone. Who knows what you have spoken to the darkness, alone, in the bitter watches of the night, when all your life seems to shrink, the walls of your bower closing in about you, a hutch to trammel some wild thing in? So fair, yet so cold like a morning of pale Spring still clinging to Winter's chill.
Eowyn: Your words are poison!
H.ma: I cannot allow you before Theoden King so armed, Gandalf Greyhame... by order of Grima Wormtongue.
[Gandalf nods, and they hand over their weapons]
H.ma: Your staff.
Gandalf: Oh... you would not part an old man from his walking stick?
[Hama lets them through; Gandalf winks at Aragorn]
Eomer: Look for your friends, but do not trust to hope. It has forsaken these lands.
Pippin: [of Treebeard] Don't talk to it, Merry. Don't encourage it.
Treebeard: That doesn't make sense to me. But, then again, you are very small.
Pippin: And whose side are you on?
Treebeard: Side? I am on nobody's side, because nobody is on my side, little orc.
Eowyn: My Lord! Aragorn! I am to be sent with the women into the caves.
Aragorn: That is an honorable charge.
Eowyn: To mind the children, to find food and bedding when the men return. What renown is there in that?
Aragorn: My Lady, there may come a time for valor without renown. Who then will your people look to in the last defense?
Eowyn: Let me stand at your side.
Aragorn: It is not in my power to command it.
[pause; Aragorn turns to walk away from her]
Eowyn: You do not command the others to stay! They fight beside you because they would not be parted from you! Because they love you.
[Aragorn stops, and she realizes she has said too much]
Eowyn: I am sorry.
[to the Orcs]
Saruman: There will be no dawn... for men.
Legolas: They run as if the very whips of their masters were behind them.
Gandalf: From the lowest dungeon to the highest peak I fought with the Balrog of Morgoth... Until at last I threw down my enemy and smote his ruin upon the mountain side... Darkness took me, and I strayed out of thought and time... The stars wheeled overhead, and every day was as long as a life age of the earth... But it was not the end. I felt life in me again. I've been sent back until my task is done.
[Gandalf the White whistles and a white horse appears]
Legolas: That is one of the Mearas, unless my eyes are cheated by some spell.
Gandalf: Shadowfax. He is the lord of all horses and has been my friend through many dangers.
Frodo: [bewitched] They're here, they've come.
Sam: You know I don't usually hold with foreign food, but this Elvish stuff - it's not bad.
Frodo: Nothing dampens your spirits Sam.
Sam: [looks at the nearing rain clouds] Those rain clouds might.
Frodo: [waking up from a nightmare] Gandalf!
Sam: What is it, Mr. Frodo?
Frodo: Nothing... just a dream.
Gandalf: I will draw you, Saruman, as poison is drawn from a wound.
Aragorn: [Théoden threatens to kill Wormtongue] No, my lord - let him go. Enough blood has been spilt on his account.
Pippin: The closer we are to danger, the farther we are from harm. It's the last thing he'll expect.
Merry: Are you mad? We will be caught for sure.
Pippin: Not this time.
Theoden: Simbelmyne. Ever has it grown on the tombs of my forebears. Now it shall cover the grave of my son. Alas, that these evil days should be mine. The young perish and the old linger. That I should live to see that last days of my house.
Gandalf: Théodred's death was not of your making.
Theoden: No parent should have to bury their child.
Gandalf: He was strong in life. His spirit will find the way to the halls of your fathers.
Frodo: The Ring will not save Gondor. It only has the power to destroy. Please, let me go.
Sam: You want to know what happened to Boromir? Do you want to know why your brother died? He tried to take the Ring from Frodo, after swearing an oath to protect him! He tried to kill him! The Ring drove your brother mad.
Treebeard: I always like going South; somehow, it feels like going downhill.
Faramir: So this is the answer to all the riddles: here in the wild I have you, two halflings and a host of men at my call, and the Ring of Power within my grasp.
Elrond: Our time here is ending, Arwen's time is ending. Let her go... let her take the ship into the West. Let her bear her love for you to the Undying Lands, there it will be ever green...
Aragorn: ...but never more than a memory.
Sam: Mordor... the one place in Middle-Earth we don't want to see any closer... the one place we're trying to get to... is just where we can't get. Let's face it, Mr. Frodo. We're lost!
Gimli: [failing to see over the wall] What's happening out there?
Legolas: Shall I describe it to you?
Gimli: [turns] Hmm?
Legolas: Or would you like me to find you a box?
Saruman: A new power is rising. Its victory is at hand. This night the land will be stained with the blood of Rohan. March to Helm's Deep. Leave none alive. To war!
Gollum: I found it, I did. A way through the marshes. Orcs don't use it. Orcs don't know it. They go round for miles and miles. Come hobbitses, soft and quick as shadows we must be.
Elrond: He is not coming back. Why do you linger here when there is no hope?
Arwen: There is still hope.
Elrond: If Aragorn survives this war, you will still be parted. If Sauron is defeated and Aragorn made king and all that you hope for comes true you will still have to taste the bitterness of mortality. Whether by the sword or the slow decay of time, Aragorn will die. And there will be no comfort for you, no comfort to ease the pain of his passing. He will come to death an image of the splendor of the kings of Men in glory undimmed before the breaking of the world. But you, my daughter, you will linger on in darkness and in doubt as nightfall in winter that comes without a star. Here you will dwell bound to your grief under the fading trees until all the world is changed and the long years of your life are utterly spent.
[during the Battle of Helm's Deep, Gimli has killed an Uruk-Hai warrior]
Gimli: Legolas! Two already!
Legolas: I'm on seventeen!
Gimli: Huh? I'll have no pointy-ear outscoring me!
[kills another one]
Legolas: [shoots two more arrows] Nineteen!
[from the extended edition]
Boromir: You give him no credit and yet he tries to do your will. He loves you, Father.
Denethor: Do not trouble me with Faramir. I know his uses and they are few.
Grima Wormtongue: His staff. I told you to take the Wizard's staff.
Theoden: Look at my men. Their courage hangs by a thread. If this is to be our end, then I would have them make such an end, as to be worthy of remembrance.
Aragorn: Gimli, lower your axe.
Legolas: They have feelings, my friend. The elves began it, waking up the trees, teaching them to speak.
Gimli: Talking trees. What do trees have to talk about, hmm... except the consistency of squirrel droppings?
Legolas: Forgive me. I mistook you for Saruman.
Gandalf: I am Saruman. Or rather, Saruman as he should have been.
[from extended version]
Merry: [watching Saruman look out at the ruin of Isengard from the tower] He doesn't look too happy, does he?
Pippin: Not too happy at all, Merry.
Merry: Still, I suppose the view would be quite nice from up there.
Pippin: Oh yes, its a quality establishment. I hear the staff are VERY good.
Sam: Captain Faramir, you have shown your quality, sir - the very highest.
Faramir: The Shire must truly be a great realm, Master Gamgee, where gardeners are held in high honor.
[after falling off from the horse]
Gimli: That was deliberate, it was deliberate.
Sam: We're innocent travelers.
Faramir: There are no travelers in this land... only servants of the Dark Lord.
Frodo: We are bound to an errand of secrecy. Those who claim to oppose the enemy would do well not to hinder us.
Saruman: We have only to remove those who oppose us.
Wormtongue: Why do you lay these troubles on an already troubled mind?
Gollum: Sneaky little hobbitses.
Legolas: Look at them. They're frightened. You can see it in their eyes.
[All the men turn to look at him]
Legolas: [in Elvish] And they should be. Three hundred... against ten thousand!
Aragorn: [in Elvish] They have a better chance defending themselves here than at Edoras...
Legolas: [in Elvish] Aragorn... they cannot win this fight. They are all going to die!
Aragorn: [in English] Then I shall die as one of them!
Eomer: How long has it been since Saruman bought you? What was the promised price, Grima? When all the Men are dead you would take your share of the treasure?
[Wormtongue looks at Eowyn]
Eomer: Too long have you watched my sister. Too long have you haunted her steps.
[Eomer is seized by two guards]
Wormtongue: You see much, Eomer son of Eomund. Too much.
[Eomer is beaten by the guards]
Wormtongue: You are banished forthwith from the Kingdom of Rohan... under pain of death.
Eomer: You have no authority here! Your orders mean nothing!
Wormtongue: Oh, but this order does not come from me. It comes from the King. He signed it this morning.
[Shows Eomer the banishment order, signed by Theoden's seal]
Aragorn: [about the orcs] Their pace has quickened. They must have caught our scent. Hurry!
Legolas: Come on, Gimli!
Gimli: Three days and nights pursuit. No food, no rest. No sign of our quarry, but what bare rock can tell!
Gollum: Oh! Cruel hobbit! It does not care if we be hungry. It does not care if we should die! Not like Master. Master cares. Master knows. Yes, precious...
[Frodo takes hold of the ring]
Gollum: Once it takes hold of us it never lets go.
Gandalf: Theoden king stands alone.
Eomer: Not alone. Rohirrim!
[Rohirrim gather behind him]
Eomer: TO THE KING!
Eomer: [whistles] Hasufel! Arod! May these horses bear you to better fortune than their former masters.
[from extended version]
Legolas: Final count, forty-two.
Gimli: Forty-two? Oh, that's not bad for a pointy-eared elvish princeling. Hmph! I myself am sitting pretty on forty-THREE.
Legolas: [takes out an arrow, and shoots the Uruk Gimli is sitting on in the stomach] Forty-three.
Gimli: He was already dead!
Legolas: He was twitching.
Gimli: He was *twitching* because he's got my axe EMBEDDED IN HIS NERVOUS SYSTEM!
[rattles the handle of his ax; the Uruk's arms and legs twitch]
Gamling: Every villager able to wield a sword has been sent to the armory... my lord?
Theoden: Who am I, Gamling?
Gamling: You are our king, sire.
Theoden: And do you trust your king?
Gamling: Your men, my Lord, will follow you to whatever end.
Theoden: To whatever end...
[after Legolas has shot and killed a Warg heading toward Gimli]
Gimli: But that one counts as mine!
[from extended version]
Boromir: Remember today, little brother.
[from extended version]
[looking at the elvish rope]
Frodo: We can't leave this here for someone to follow us down.
Sam: Who's going to follow us down here, Mr. Frodo?
Sam: It's a shame, really. Lady Galadriel gave me that. Real elvish rope.
Sam: Well, there's nothing for it - it's one of my knots. It won't come free in a hurry.
[tugs rope, rope falls]
Frodo: Real Elvish rope.
Gimli: Keep breathing. That's the key. Breathe.
Treebeard: The Ents are going to war.
[after meeting with Gandalf in Fangorn Forest]
Aragorn: In one thing you haven't changed, my friend - you still speak in riddles.
Snaga: Just a mouthful. A bit off the flank!
[from the extended version]
Treebeard: I believe you will enjoy this next one, too. It is one of my own compositions. Ahem. 'Beneath the roof of sleeping... leaves and dreams of trees untold, When woodland halls are... green... and cool, and the wind is in the west, Come back to me... Come... back... to me, And say my land is... best.'
[from extended version]
Faramir: Good Speech. Nice and short.
Boromir: Leaves more time for drinking!
[from the extended version]
Pippin: Why are there so few of you, when you live so long? Are there Ent children?
Treebeard: [Sadly] Brrharroom. There have been no Entings for a terrible long count of years.
Merry: Why is that?
Treebeard: We lost the Entwives.
Pippin: Oh, I'm sorry. How did they die?
Treebeard: Die? No. We *lost* them. And now, we cannot *find* them.
Treebeard: I don't suppose you've seen Entwives in the Shire?
Merry: Can't say that I have. You, Pip?
Pippin: [thinks for a moment] What do they look like?
Treebeard: [pauses] Hrrooom... I... don't... remember... now.
[scene from extended version]
Merry: You just said something... treeish!
[scene from extended version]
Merry: You're taller.
Pippin: Than what?
Merry: Than *me*!
Pippin: I've always been taller than you.
Merry: Pippin, everyone knows *I'm* the tall one. *You're* the short one.
Pippin: Please, Merry. You're what, three-foot-six? At the most? Whereas me, I'm pushing three-seven, three-eight.
Merry: Three-foot-eight? You did something.
[scene from extended version]
Gimli: This new Gandalf is more grumpy than the old one.
Theoden: Your leechcraft would have had me crawling on all fours like a beast!
Legolas: They're taking the hobbits to Isengard.
Faramir: [to Frodo and Sam] My men tell me that you are Orc spies.
Sam: Spies! Now wait just a minute!
Faramir: Well, if you're not spies, then who are you?
[they remain silent, Faramir sighs and sits]
Frodo: We are Hobbits of the Shire. Frodo Baggins is my name and this is Samwise Gamgee.
Faramir: Your bodyguard?
Sam: His gardener.
Faramir: And where is your skulking friend? That gangrel creature. He had an ill-favoured look.
Frodo: [reluctant] There was no other. We set out from Rivendell with seven companions. One we lost in Moria. Two were my kin. A dwarf there was also. And an elf. And two men. Aragorn, son of Arathorn, and Boromir of Gondor.
Faramir: [solemn] You are a friend of Boromir?
Frodo: Yes, for my part.
Faramir: It would grieve you then to learn that he is dead.
Frodo: [shocked] Dead? How? When?
Faramir: As one of his companions, I had hope you would tell me. He was my brother.
Eomer: What business does an Elf, a Man, and a Dwarf have in the Riddermark? Speak quickly!
Gimli: Give me your name, Horse-master, and I shall give you mine.
Eomer: [gets off horse] I would cut off your head, Dwarf, if it stood but a little higher from the ground.
Legolas: [prepares bow and arrow] You would die before your stroke fell.
[Rohirrim point spears at Legolas]
Aragorn: [signals for Legolas to bring down his weapon] I am Aragorn, son of Arathorn. This is Gimli, son of Gloin, and Legolas of the Woodland Realm. We are friends of Rohan, and of Theoden, your King.
Eomer: Theoden no longer recognizes friend from foe. Not even his own kin.
[takes off helmet]
Eomer: Saruman has poisoned the mind of the king and claimed lordship over these lands. My company are those loyal to Rohan, and for that we are banished. The White Wizard is cunning. He walks here and there they say, as an old man hooded and cloaked. And everywhere his spies slip past our nets.
Aragorn: We are no spies. We track a party of Uruk-Hai, Westward across the plain. They have taken two of our friends captive.
Eomer: The Uruks are destroyed. We slaughtered them during the night
Gimli: But there were two Hobbits! Did you see two Hobbits with 'em?
Aragorn: They would be small. Only children to your eyes.
Eomer: We left none alive. We piled the carcasses and burned them.
Eomer: I am sorry.
Eomer: Hasufel! Arod! May these horses bear you to better fortune than their former masters. Farewell.
[puts on helmet, gets on horse]
Eomer: Look for your friends. But do not trust to hope. It has forsaken these lands.
Theoden: Let this be the hour when we draw swords together. Fell deeds awake. Now for wrath, now for ruin, and the red dawn. Forth, Eorlingas!