Garfield in Paradise (1986 TV Short)
[a stewardess meets Jon and Garfield boarding the plane]
Stewardess: [to Jon] Welcome to Inversion Layer Airlines, sir. In what section are you traveling?
Jon Arbuckle: [mumbling; almost incoherent] Third class.
Stewardess: What section, sir?
Jon Arbuckle: [clears throat; whispering] Third class.
Stewardess: I can't hear you.
Jon Arbuckle: [shouting] Third class!
Stewardess: Oh... you're seated at the rear of the plane with the rest of the slime!
Jon Arbuckle: [dejected; sighs] Thank you.
[Jon and Garfield head down the aisle toward the back of the plane]
Jon Arbuckle: Why can't I get any respect, Garfield?
Garfield: When you travel, you must pay for respect, my friend.
Jon Arbuckle: Hello, Paradise World!
Jon Arbuckle: Just smell that fresh air, Garfield.
Garfield: [sniffs] That's jet fuel, you dummy!
Jon Arbuckle: Well, the next item of business is to get our luggage.
[their luggage is thrown out of the plane, landing next to Garfield]
Jon Arbuckle: Hey, that's service for you!
Garfield: Jon, you'd look on the bright side of a train wreck! That was no service, that was assault and battery on our suitcases!
[buries his face in his hand]
Garfield: I should never have packed my crystal mouse collection!
Jon Arbuckle: This vacation isn't working out *exactly* the way I hoped it would.
Garfield: A masterfully understated observation, especially when you consider it's coming from a total idiot!
Pigeon: [Volcano rumbles] You want the five-seven? How swift? You for real or what?
[Volcano rumbles even louder]
Pigeon: [Pigeon rushes to Jon, Garfield, Owooda, Mai-Tai and the Chief] Da' volcano no like the wahine, he like the five-seven. He no get him swift, he gon' boda' everybody!
Chief: I see...
Jon Arbuckle: What did he say?
Chief: Pigeon says the volcano doesn't want my daughter, it wants the car. If it can't have the car in about 30 seconds, it's gon' blow us all to pieces!
Jon Arbuckle: [guilty] There goes my damage deposit.
Pigeon: [Pigeon runs to Monkey and Odie, who are still trying to fix the car] Hey hey hey, you buggahs, make swift wit' da' wheels, da' volcano like the car mos koshi, or he gon' blow everybody out da' other side!
Monkey: Well, that's just great. First of all, I'm told that if I don't fix the car, I'm gonna lose my head. Now he tells me that if I don't get the car started in 30 seconds, I'm gonna lose my life, too! We're out of time, Odie! Come on, let's give it our best shot!
Jon Arbuckle: [Garfield comes floating by on the water] How do you do that, Garfield?
Garfield: Easy... fat floats.
[the boys decide to visit the local car rental shop]
Hotel Clerk: [jumping up from behind the counter] Yeeeeeeees?
Jon Arbuckle: [noticing the resemblance to the motel owner] You look familiar.
Hotel Clerk: I have a brother in the motel business.
Garfield: [looking around] Racket is more like it!
Jon Arbuckle: Chief, you're not gonna let Owooda jump in there, are you?
Chief: Unless she sacrifices herself, the volcano will surely destroy us all.
Jon Arbuckle: You mean, it appeases the gods or something?
Chief: No, it plugs up the hole.
Worshiping Tribe Members: [bowing; repeated lines] Chrome... Chrome... Chrome...
Worshiping Man: Bop-Ba-Da-We-Bop...
Worshiping Tribe Members: [bowing] Chrome... Chrome... Chrome...
Jon Arbuckle: Odie, you sly dog you! You stowed away in my suitcase.
[patting Odie on his head]
Jon Arbuckle: What a happy surprise!
[Odie licks him]
Garfield: You won't be so happy when you see what Odie did to your sports coat.
Chief: Uh - hey, Monkey come over here... Hey, this car won't run; fix it!
Monkey: [Monkey starts drumming on car hood and chanting] Hm... Chicka-ba-mooka-mooka uh uh, chicka-ba-mooka-mooka uh uh, chicka-ba-mooka-mooka...
Chief: [interuppting] Ay! Ay! Raise the hood, Mango Brain!
Monkey: [Monkey looks puzzled] Oh, yeah...
Jon Arbuckle: You know the rules, Garfield: they don't allow pets in the seats. I had to dress you up as my son, or you wouldn't have come on our vacation.
Garfield: What am I, a piece of luggage?
[holds up his tail]
Garfield: What's this, a handle? If that's the way you feel about it, why didn't you just stick a stamp on my face, cancel my bottom, and mail me to Paradise World?
Jon Arbuckle: [singing] I love the beach!
Garfield: [singing] I love the beach!
Jon Arbuckle: I love the beach!
Garfield: I love the beach!
Jon Arbuckle: Beauty and the beaaaaaaaaaaaaaach!
Jon Arbuckle: [lying on the diving board at first, then springing up] Hey, wait a minute! We control our own destinies, don't we?
Garfield: That's debatable.
Jon Arbuckle: This is an island, right? There has to be some beach out there somewhere, right? We'll go and rent a car, and drive until we find some fun in the sun. Right, guys?
Jon Arbuckle: [leaping a little on the diving board] Then let's do it!
[the diving board snaps off, and Jon falls into the empty pool]
Garfield: Right! We'll do it right after his bones knit!
Jon Arbuckle: [as he and Garfield watch Owooda and Mai-Tai walk toward the volcano] I can't believe she's doing this!
Garfield: Well, better her than us.
Hotel Clerk: [gesturing toward the new car] And there she is!
[we hear a dramatic guitar]
Hotel Clerk: Well, what do you think?
Jon Arbuckle: [mesmerized] She's beautiful!
[Odie has stowed away in Jon's suitcase]
Garfield: Well, this is just ducky.
[Odie licks Garfield's face]
Garfield: One minute, I'm sitting happily at home minding my own business, next thing I know, I'm traveling third class with a fourth-class owner to a fifth-class motel to sleep with a *sixth*-class mutt.
Worshiping Tribe Members: [chanting; repeated lines] Throw her in, throw her in, waaay in. Throw her in, throw her in, waaay in.
Jon Arbuckle: Hey Garfield, have you seen Odie?
Garfield: Yeah, I buried him in the sand, but only up to his ankles.
[shows Odie buried upside-down in the sand, his feet sticking up]
Garfield: [after Monkey and Odie are rescued from the volcano; last lines] To the village, Jon. I love happy endings. Why don't we do this again next year?
Garfield: [after Jon turns on the car radio] Somehow I knew it would be playing that music. Why, this could be fun yet! To the beach, Jon!
Jon Arbuckle: [after he, Garfield, and Odie drive into a tribal village; they stare in horror] What do you think of this, Garfield?
Garfield: I don't know. And if I did know, I don't think I'd wanna know.
Jon Arbuckle: [as they watch the villagers worship their car] Look, Garfield, I don't think they were worshipping us at all. They appear to be worshipping the car.
Chief: Yep, that's what they're doing, all right.
Chief: [as he and the rest of the tribe stand at the edge of the volcano after Monkey and Odie drive the car into it] Aw, Monkey, you big lug, why'd you have to do that, you crazy galoot? You could've just shoved the car in.
Garfield: So long, Odie. It's a shame it had to end this way. We didn't even get to say goodbye. Gonna miss ya, fella.
Jon Arbuckle: [boarding the plane] Paradise World, here we come! Isn't this exciting, Garfield? C'mon, let's find our seats!
Garfield: I'm not going.
Jon Arbuckle: [impatiently] Will you come on?
[Garfield boards the plane, dressed as a human; he does not look happy]
Garfield: I've never been so humiliated in my life.
Jon Arbuckle: I think you'll enjoy flying, Garfield. It's a very smooth and comfortable way to travel.
Garfield: [holding up an airsick bag] Then what are these little sacks for, the Easter egg hunt?
Garfield: [on the plane] I'd like flying better if I could keep one paw on the ground.
[suddenly sniffs the air]
Garfield: What's that?
Garfield: Sounds like a wind cable fraying!
[sniffs the air]
Garfield: Smoke! I smell smoke! Smoke! We're going down in flames!
Jon Arbuckle: [gesturing out the window] Relax, Garfield, we haven't even taken off yet.
Garfield: Great, cats and children first!
[he tries to flee, but Jon grabs him and sits him back]
Jon Arbuckle: [as he and Garfield trudge down the hall to their motel room] This isn't exactly what I bargained for.
Garfield: Oh, you bargained for it, all right.
Jon Arbuckle: As long as we're up, we might as well unpack.
Garfield: Unpacking sounds so final. We're really going through this vacation, huh?
Monkey: [as he and Odie climb out of the volcano after they're presumed dead] Boy, we'd better fix those brakes.
Crowd: [lifting Monkey and Odie from the crater's ledge and tossing them; ad lib] Yeaaaaaaaaaah! Our heroes!
Garfield: Hey, Jon, let's blow this scene; it's too warm here on the beach.
Jon Arbuckle: You don't wanna leave already, do you? We just got here.
Garfield: Fix yourself in my shoes. You'd be warm, too, if you wore a fur coat to the beach. Let's do some cruisin'.
Jon Arbuckle: [as Garfield and Odie tickle him] Okay, okay, we'll leave.
Jon Arbuckle: You speak English?
Chief: Well, we watch a lot of beach movies, you know.
Jon Arbuckle: This is all very confusing.
Jon Arbuckle: There's the bed and the bathroom's down the hall. Any questions?
Garfield: Yeah. Where're you gonna sleep?
Jon Arbuckle: Owooda, what has to be done?
Owooda: Don't try to stop me, Jon. I must throw myself to the volcano.
Jon Arbuckle: No!
Owooda: Yes! If I don't do it, my village and my people will be destroyed.
Jon Arbuckle: Why you?
Owooda: My father is the chief. I am the princess. It is written that only a princess can appease the volcano. Check that - that only a princess and her *cat* can appease the volcano.
Jon Arbuckle: Are you trying to tell me the cruiser drove his car into the volcano to save your village?
Chief: I'd like to think so.
Jon Arbuckle: That's some story.
Chief: Well, it gets better every time I tell it.
Jon Arbuckle: Do you really believe that?
Chief: If we didn't, we wouldn't have built that shrine over there.
Lenny the MC: [in Garfield's dream] Ladies and gentlemen, direct from an engagement in Lost Wages, Nevada, put your paws together for Garfield Ho!
Jon Arbuckle: Well, time's wasting. Come on guys, let's hit the pool!
Garfield: I can't wait. Oh when will this mad whirlwind existence ever stop?
Garfield: [in his dream, after he is introduced as Garfield Ho] Thank you, Lenny, I love you, now get outta here.
Garfield: It's so *great* to be back in Hawaii!
Garfield: [in his dream as Garfield Ho] I love you, teachers, so for my first song I'd like to sing something from my latest album, "The Best of Garfield Ho". It goes something like this, Lenny, if you please.
Garfield: [in his dream, after he sings "Hello Hawaii"] Very well, I'll step among you and allow myself to be adored.
Stewardess: [as Garfield and Jon's plane takes off] The captain has advised that the "fasten seat belt" sign be observed in case some slight air turbulence is encountered.
Garfield: Whoever said, "Getting there is half the fun," should be drug out into the street and shot!
Garfield: [after Garfield sings "Hello Hawaii" in his dream, Odie appears onstage dressed as an old lady and licks Garfield repeatedly] Ooh, yuck! Where'd she come from? Back off, lady! Let go of me! Don't touch me! Let me aside...
Monkey: [racing the car up the volcano with Odie on the hood] Go, baby! Gooooo!
Garfield: [looking on] Jump off, Odie! Jump off!
Garfield: Sounds like a dippy place to me. If Jon weren't such a cheapskate, we'd be going to Hawaii right now. I'd rather be going to Hawaii. I'm a Hawaii-type kind of cat.
Jon Arbuckle: [sighs] I've never seen anything so beautiful in all my life.
Owooda: [sighs] Why, thank you, Jon.
Garfield: [mimicking Owooda; sighing] Why, thank you, Jon.
Singer: With the golden promise of the sun,/we're the gateway to vacationing and fun./We seat you, we feed you, but most of all we need you./Otherwise, our flying days are done.
Jon Arbuckle: [singing] When I saw you...
Owooda: [singing] When I saw you...
Jon Arbuckle: In the sunset...
Owooda: In the sunset...
Jon Arbuckle: And you told me...