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Brimstone (TV Series 1998–1999) Poster

(1998–1999)

Quotes

Ezekiel Stone: You loved her, didn't you?

The Devil: I never loved anyone but God, and that was a long time ago.

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Ezekiel Stone: You really push a man to the brink.

The Devil: I am the brink.

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[Stone meets the Devil in an elevator]

Ezekiel Stone: Going up or down?

The Devil: Guess.

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Ezekiel Stone: Why don't you try and just enjoy some of the beautiful things in this world? Just one. Try it on for size.

The Devil: Believe me, it won't fit.

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[Stone brushes his teeth]

The Devil: Four out of five dentists surveyed agree, tooth decay is no longer a problem... once you're dead.

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[as Stone goes through someone's mailbox]

Ashe: Pardon me for interrupting you here, but that happens to be a federal crime. Is that within your jurisdiction, too?

Ezekiel Stone: I answer to a lower power.

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The Devil: God's universe is not like the American legal system. You do something, you pay for it.

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[the Devil and Stone meet in an elevator for a conference]

The Devil: You know, before they invented the elevator, I had to walk all the way from hell.

Ezekiel Stone: Glad to hear it.

The Devil: Second throughts, Ezekiel?

Ezekiel Stone: Can't you find someone else to torture?

The Devil: Millions of them. They can wait. Everyone's in such a rush. I say, stop and smell the burning flesh of sinners.

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Ezekiel Stone: What the hell do you know about love?

The Devil: Love, the most delicious emotion of all. Without love you and I would be out of a job.

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The Devil: You don't have any friends, Ezekial. You're not only really dead, you're really most sincerely dead.

Ezekiel Stone: Isn't that from "The Wizard of Oz"?

The Devil: I HATE that movie.

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Father Horn: The Devil, he appears to you as a man?

Ezekiel Stone: Yeah. He looks a lot like a kid I used to beat the crap out of in sixth grade... I'm sure that's on purpose.

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[the Devil interrupts Stone as he's having breakfast]

Ezekiel Stone: What do you want?

The Devil: Your every waking moment consumed with holding up your end of our bargain.

Ezekiel Stone: Man's gotta eat.

The Devil: A living man, perhaps. But, for you, this would be classified as recreation. Like those idle thoughts of yours replaying that sweet bygone day over and over. As if, you're expecting a different outcome. Some people would call that insane.

Ezekiel Stone: Yeah? What would they call a conversation with the Devil over breakfast?

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Ezekiel Stone: [seeing The Devil disguised as a motorcycle cop] Don't you know it's against the law to impersonate a police officer?

The Devil: What do you think you're doing, Ezekiel? You're impersonating a human being.

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The Devil: If it means anything, I'm sorry. Sort of. Well... no, I'm not.

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The Angel: Yours is a divine purpose, Ezekiel.

Ezekiel Stone: [referring to the Devil] He'd freak if he heard that.

The Angel: Good. Let him freak.

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[Going through Stone's mail]

The Devil: Junk mail, mostly. One of my lesser triumphs.

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[after Stone has sent two souls back to hell]

The Devil: Good work, Ezekiel. Two birds with one "Stone."

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[about roses]

The Devil: Did you know the thorns were originally my idea?

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[Stone defends killing his wife's rapist]

The Devil: Yes, yes, now that's what I like to hear. The indomitable spirit and righteous indignation of the human species. I've heard it a million times defending a billion atrocities, and it's still music to my ears.

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Ezekiel Stone: Do you know anything about faith?

The Devil: Faith? I was present at its creation.

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The Devil: Thanks to global warming, it gets more and more comfortable for me up here every day.

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Ezekiel Stone: Get out of my head.

The Devil: As if you could wrap your brain in barbed wire to keep me out. That is a delightful image, however.

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[From the opening credits]

Ezekiel Stone: I was a cop. When my wife was raped, I caught the guy who did it, and I killed him. Two months later, I died. I went to Hell. A hundred and thirteen of the most vile creatures... escaped.

The Devil: They think they'll beat the Devil. Nobody beats me!

Ezekiel Stone: So how am I supposed to send them back?

The Devil: The eyes: windows to the soul. Destroy the eyes, and the damned get a one-way ticket back home to Hell. But it's not Hell you should be scared of. It's losing your second chance at life on Earth!

Ezekiel Stone: Time to give the Devil his due!

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The Devil: More tears have been shed for answered prayers than for those that go unheard.

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Desk Clerk: Where have you been?

Ezekiel Stone: Out of the country.

Desk Clerk: Oh, where?

Ezekiel Stone: Down under.

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Ezekiel Stone: You a football fan?

Father Horn: I love the Saints.

[laughs]

Father Horn: That's from the Vatican jokebook.

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The Devil: Vanilla? Where's the waitress? I only eat Rocky Road.

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The Devil: I have always advocated family values, all the way back to Cain and Abel.

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Ezekiel Stone: You know, I gotta tell you, I'm getting a little tired of breaking into desks and rifling through filing cabinets. I feel like I'm on a rerun of "Magnum P.I."

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[Stone tries to convince the Devil to let him have a car]

Ezekiel Stone: It's not New York any more. Nobody wants to walk around here. Plus, the buses suck.

The Devil: Now wait a minute. Fifteen years in Hell, now you're back on Earth and you're complaining. Oh, because you have to walk. You're not going Hollywood on me, are you, Zeke?

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Ezekiel Stone: [reading his own headstone] "Ezekiel Stone, Beloved Husband, Detective NYPD, Died Defending The Citizens Of New York. The City, She Weepeth Sore in the Night, Her Tears Are On Her Cheeks."

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The Devil: [mocking Ezekiel Stone for buying flowers for Lt. Ash] Will you listen to yourself? Take your head out of Cupid's ass, Ezekiel. You've got more pressing business to take care of.

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Ezekiel Stone: You know, you should be grateful. You should be happy. Every week I send one of your sinners back to Hell. You do nothing but complain.

The Devil: Don't get so cocky, detective! You know what over-confidence leads to, don't you? You get bit in the ass!

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See also

Trivia | Goofs | Crazy Credits | Alternate Versions | Connections | Soundtracks

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