Drive Me Crazy (1999)
Chase: She's the kinda girl that will call you on your bullshit. She isn't afraid to dance and she offers to pay. She doesn't decide before a date whether or not she's gonna kiss you; she's not earnest, yet she's not completely ironic either... She orders dessert and she can be ready in ten minutes.
Chase: I was hoping I could ask to cut in.
Nicole: Well Ray left, but it's okay with me... I bet you can still catch him if you hurry.
Chase: actually I wanted to dance with you.
Dave: Hey, I finally downloaded the original Space Invaders. I'm talking quality 1981 graphics here.
Mr. Hammond: Are you stoned? You can tell me you know, I'd be cool.
Chase: Yeah I know you'd be cool.
Mr. Hammond: What is that supposed to mean?
Chase: It means I've read your yearbook. "Onward through the fog. Light up and party, have sex be free. We're the class of '73."
Mr. Hammond: Are you stoned?
Chase: Dad, until you come in here and you see a black light and a felt Led Zepplin poster, rest easy.
Nicole: There are rules, you know.
Brad Seldon: [Brad is drunk] "Rules"?
Brad Seldon: What rules?
Ray: Seniors rule!
Nicole: You don't send Designated Dave to ask if I'll go with you if you don't plan on following through with the offer.
Brad Seldon: I was going to. I-I-I was going to. It's-It's just that...
Chase: [mockingly] He just - He-He-He just - He just - He-He...
Nicole: Shut up!
Brad Seldon: I don't know. I - I fell in love.
Nicole: Its called an easy-out-clause because its supposed to be EASY
Nicole: You know, I still have the letter you wrote me in 7th grade.
Chase: Burn it.
Nicole: You said, uh - You said you hated me, and there was sonething in there about how the only way you'd ever touch me again was if you came down with leprosy.
Chase: Sorry about that.
Nicole: Don't be. I deserved it. I'm the one who should be sorry. Chase, when your mom got sick...
Chase: Please Nicole lets not do this.
Nicole: I want to, I've wanted to say this for 5 years now. When your mom got sick, I couldn't bear to go over to your house it was too hard, I was too scared. I just wanted to cry all the time. Everytime I saw her, everytime I saw you. Even when we were together, you wouldn't say anything you would just sit there. So when you started wigging out in school, skipping, pulling fire alarms, I just acted like I didn't know you.
Chase: Well I'm over it now.
Nicole: Well, good night.
Dave: Why are we doing this?
Chase: As a protest.
Dave: Of what?
Ray: People, right?
Ray: Check, Dave. We're doing this to protest sheep.
Dave: And what specifically about sheep do we object to?
Chase: General herding mentality.
Mrs. Maris: We're moving in together.
Mr. Hammond: Maybe we should think about this.
Nicole: Okay, you think about it here and we'll think about it in the tree-house.
Mr. Hammond: We're moving in together.
[Nicole and Chase give one another a surprised look]
Mrs. Maris: Obviously, we all need to think about what this means.
Nicole: Sure, well... tell you what. Why don't you two think about it here, and we'll go think about it in the treehouse.
[Nicole is crossing out guys in her yearbook]
Nicole: Moron. One eyebrow. Taking GEORGANNE WARNER. Failed health. Taking Sue. Taking Dee Vine.
[She scribbles a guy's face out]
Nicole: Refers to himself as "The De-Virginator".
Sue Ryan: It's easy to be a bitch now that Brad Seldon is available.
Nicole: It's easy to be a bitch either way.
Sue Ryan: It's easy to be a bitch now that Brad Seldon's available.
Nicole: It's easy to be a bitch either way.
Dave: [driving Chase home] So who was at the party?
Dave: [slams on the brakes] Everyone was not at the party! I wasn't there.
Eddie Lampell: Who would you rather do: Agent Scully or Gillian Anderson?
Alicia DeGasario: They're the same person, you idiot.
Eddie Lampell: [to Chase] How about you?
Chase: Let's see, a flaky, self-absorbed actress or a gun-toting, badass FBI agent with years of pent-up sexual tension? No contest.
Eddie Lampell: My man. What I wouldn't do to Scully...
Alicia DeGasario: I'm sure she's been drooled on before.
Alicia DeGasario: Girl gets two-faced boy in back seat. Violence anticipated.
Chase: We're breaking up, aren't we?
Dulcie: I just think we're headed in different directions, that's all.
Alicia DeGasario: Hey Kathy. Have you been over to Brad's?
Kathy: Yeah, it's nice.
Alicia DeGasario: Weird huh? His family seems so normal. You'd never guess they belonged to one of those doomsday cults.
Kathy: A - Are you serious?
Dave: We used to be your friends, if you can remember that far back.
Chase: You know what I remember, Dave? I remember you cleaning out Eddie Lampell's locker because he said he'd be your friend.
Dave: I did the guy a favor!
Chase: I remember you buying Alicia Digressatio at the Student Council Auction last year, and then letting her spend the whole day with her boyfriend.
Dave: Do you have a point?
Dave: Yeah, my point is Dave, you're not mad at me. You're jealous.
Dave: What's wrong with wanting to be liked?
Chase: You want them to like you, Dave? Tell them to go fuck themselves. People like that need people like you, otherwise there's twice as much trawsh and no one to take it out.
Dave: You're totally losing me.
[Dave's pager goes off]
Chase: Don't go Dave. There's sober people there. They just don't want to leave the party.
Dave: I can't not go.
Dee Vine: Sorry, Dave. I would've driven him home, but I can't drive his car. It's a stick.
Eddie Lampell: Well, I'll show you how to drive a stick right now. Here it is. Come on.
Dee Vine: I meant a real car, Eddie, not a matchbox.
[Eddie is beating up Dave]
Eddie Lampell: What are you thinking Designated Dave? Huh? This isn't Revenge of the Nerds, man! No radioactive spider bit you!
Eddie Lampell: You think you're Miss Thing. But you know what? You're just a wanna-be who got lucky with a case of bulimia!
Chase: Why are you telling me this? I'm your past tense quasi-boyfriend, not the American people.
Dulcie: Well, what I'm trying to say, is that both the tense and title are negotiable.
Alicia DeGasario: Nicole, I'm honestly sorry about how things worked out. I really thought Brad was gonna ask you.
Nicole: He did. But I already had a date. He was bummed, so I let him know you were easy.
Eddie Lampell: The key to pleasing a woman is sweet talk. You're so beautiful. Have you lost weight? And then there are the three words that always seal the deal for me...
Chase: Another tequila shot?