Hollow Man (2000)
Sebastian: Did you ever hear the one about Superman and Wonder Woman?
Matt: Stop clowning around
Sebastian: No come on this is a good one. Superman's flying around metropolis and he's horny as hell. He's checking out the rooftops and all of a sudden he sees Wonder Woman sunning herself on the roof of the Justice League. I mean she is lying there buck naked and spread eagle. Looks like she wants to get fucked right? So Superman starts thinking to himself, "Man I gotta get myself some of that wonderpussy." and then he realizes that he can fly down, do a little fast pumping and be gone before she even sees him. Because he's Superman. he's faster than a speeding bullet, right? So Superman, he swoops down, he fucks her so quick, she doesn't even see him. Wonderwoman sits up and says, "What the fuck was that?" and The Invisible Man says "I don't know but my asshole is killing me." That's funny right?
Sebastian: C'mon, guys. That's funny.
Sebastian: You know what, Matt? It's amazing what you can do... when you don't have to look at yourself in the mirror any more.
Matt: My 5th grade teacher told me, that "Genius is the ability to go from A to D without having to go through B and C." Sebastian can do that, but for me, I gotta have the B and C.
Matt: How did we let him talk us into this?
Linda: Can we talk about it later? I'm trying to make love to you.
[Dr. Kramer has stepped out by his pool. He lights his pipe and inadvertently blows smoke in Sebastian's face, briefly outlining it]
Sebastian: Hi, Boss.
Linda: Sebastian, do you have any idea what time it is?
Sebastian: Da Vinci never slept. Said it was a waste of time.
[Sebastian is driving home, and stops at a light. A boy and girl in the car beside him see him]
Boy in Car: Hey, look. Look! Look at that.
Girl in Car: Man, he's weird.
[Sebastian lifts his shades, to show his hollow eyes; and opens his mouth, to show his hollow mouth]
Boy in Car: Mom! Mommy!
Boy in Car: Look!
Boy in Car: A ghost!
Mom: Don't be ridiculous. There's nothing out there.
Frank: [over intercom] This is God. You are disturbing the natural order of things, and will be severely punished for all eternity. God has spoken.
Sebastian: How many times I have to tell you, Frank? You're not God. *I* am.
[discussing the experiment of turning Sebastian invisible]
Janice: If it is a snuff film, I got dibs on his Porsche.
Frank: Janice, how can you say that?
Frank: The Porsche is mine.
Linda: Did you see that?
Matt: Sebastian, can you hear me?
Sebastian: ...The lights! Turn off the... lights!
[Linda and Matt turn the lights]
Sebastian: I can't close my eyes.
Linda: You can, but your eyelids are transparent.
Sebastian: It's weird. I feel the same, but I'm not here.
[Linda pushes on Sebastian's chest]
Linda: You're here.
Janice: What was the clientele like?
Frank: This guy comes up to me and he says: "l like my women like my coffee."
Janice: People still use that line?
Frank: Maybe he meant cold and bitter.
Janice: Very funny.
Linda: Let me tell you a little secret. The concept of Sebastian is much more appealing then Sebastian himself.
Matt: Any last words?
Sebastian: Yeah! If I die, pretend the last words I said were real deep and clever.
Sebastian: You don't make history by following the rules, you make it by seizing the moment.
Sebastian: If we're gonna move forward, this is the next logical step!
Linda: *You cracked the code*! 11 months, and you suddenly come up with it out of the blue. How?
Sebastian: The usual: coffee and Twinkies.
Linda: What bothers you most? That you don't have a life... or that I do?
Sebastian: Well, your objections have been duly noted and summarily overruled.
Sarah: Yes, Sir!
Sebastian: How come when you say "Yes, Sir" it kinda sounds like "Fuck you!"
[Sebastian is about to inject himself with the serum. He takes off his robe and he's naked. Linda and Sarah smirk]
Sebastian: Ladies, please, this is science.
Matt: Sarah's on the warpath, so I suggest you play nice.
Sarah: This is bullshit, Sebastian, bullshit.
Sebastian: Good morning to you, too!
Dr. Kramer: I'm going to call out the scientific council.
Matt: Is there anything we can do in the meantime?
Dr. Kramer: How about clearing out your offices?
Linda: For what is worth, we're both very sorry.
Dr. Kramer: It's a little a late for apologies.
Mrs. Kramer: What's the problem?
Dr. Kramer: Just a screw-up at work!
Mrs. Kramer: How bad?
Dr. Kramer: Bad enough to wake up a few Generals.
[Isabelle has been made visible and put in her cage]
Matt: Man, look how peaceful she is.
Sarah: Yeah, if I didn't know better, I'd say nothing happened to her.
Sebastian: Yes, so let's schedule a vivisection for Monday. I want to check her neural pathways.
Sarah: You just brought her back, and now you're gonna slice up her brain?
Sebastian: I'm not runnin' a goddamn zoo! All right?
Sarah: You're a fucking unethical bastard.
Matt: Whoa, whoa, whoa. He's kidding.
Matt: Tell her you're kidding, right?
Sebastian: Right. I don't want to cut her up for another few weeks.
Linda McKay: [to Sebastian] You think you're God? I'll show you God!
Sebastian: [another failed molecule design] Damn it!
Sebastian: So this guy you're seeing, what's he like?
Linda: He's everything you're not.
Sebastian: Oh. He must be dull.
Sebastian: Hey would you like to know what it's like making love to an invisible man?
Linda: It would just be like old times.
Sebastian: What do you mean?
Linda: You were never there.