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|Index||24 reviews in total|
Okay, so the only reason I rented this flick was because the box at the
video store had a cool picture of a monster on the front and the back had
some cute chick being terrorized by said monster. But it was entertaining
enough. Cheesy acting and a plot that doesn't make a whole lot of sense
aren't the only qualities of this movie. It also has a shower scene in an
all girls college! What more do you want?
In conclusion, rent this for a good time. Laugh with your friends at the horribly low-budget explosions, and cheer for the half naked women.
The trailers for this movie promised and this movie delivered exactly what
was promised: Good campy fun with lots of very good looking naked broads!
If you were expecting a major Hollywood movie with major stars, stellar
budgets, and MPAA tamed money shots, you will be *very*
However, if you are a fan of the old "B" movies with unknown, but very good looking young stars that act amazingly well, given the material, some hokey, but surprisingly well done special effects, and very tight naked nubile bodies, this movie is almost heaven!
I've read other hacks' reviews of this movie, and while it certainly isn't the best movie ever made in the sci-fi / horror genre, it isn't THAT bad if you accept it for what it is - low-budget, b-movie fare that (shall we say) "borrows heavily" from the likes of 'Alien' (nasty extraterrestrial monster that cocoons its victims) 'Species' (gorgeous and confused "space girl") and 'Incubus' (the beastie-breeding-with-captive-girls angle). This is one seriously cheesy movie, and the whole thing was obviously done on a shoestring budget, although the alien isn't too bad (I've seen far less convincing men-in-rubber-suits at any rate). None of the acting is Oscar material and the Isle Of Man doesn't really double for Boston Massachussetts very convincingly. The plot is fairly predictable too and the premise that an alien craft would travel squillions of miles and crash land smack bang in the middle of an all-girls college campus - thus conveniently providing a rich source of perfect breeding victims - is utterly laughable. However, the movie does have its suspenseful moments, there's a few helpings of nudity and semi-nudity and the film does feature one of the few movie appearances by the beautiful and tragic model / actress Kadamba Simmons (as the "Space Girl") who, at the age of only 24, was murdered in London by her jealous boyfriend shortly after making this film.
This is one of those movies where the acting, set location, direction,
and effects were so bad you need to rent a copy get 5 or 6 buddies, a
keg of beer, sit down and watch it. To borrow from the late Douglas
Adams, "Watching this movie will be like having your brains smashed out
by a slice of lemon... wrapped around a large gold brick.".
What is wrong? Everything. British actors posing as Americans, there have been many that can pull it off like Bob Hoskins but he isn't in this one. It wasn't even necessary to choose North America as a location why not say it took place in England or something? The director seemed to like taking shots of girls tits and asses more than actually coming up with some kind of character motivation. So at this point you drunken buddies will be saying, "ALL RIGHT! Another T&A shot!". There isn't much dialog so feel free to skip off to the kitchen and make those sandwiches. What did I like about this movie? After my friends passed out, I managed to collect $185 off of them and told them they spent it at the strip bar after we finished watching the awful movie.
*** This review may contain spoilers ***
"Breeders" is a great example of a guilty pleasure.
A meteorite crash-lands near a College University, and a piece is removed and taken for study. Art teacher Ashley Rowe, (Todd Jensen) and student Louise, (Samantha Janus) suspect something weird is involved with the fragment, and a murder on campus finally convinces them. After several more women disappear from the college, they begin to investigate the meteorite more. A police force arrives to deal with the story, and they all end up slaughtered. Police Chief Horace, (Nigel Harrison) trying to save face after the disaster, agrees with the two faculty members that an alien force is loose on campus and they have to work together to put a stop to it.
The Good News: There are very few examples of a cheese-fest, but this one clearly falls into that category. Practically everything here is an example. From the constant nudity to the almost non-descriptive story to the setting, everything here has a feeling of cheese. There's some moments that are indicative of other styles creeping in. A long sequence where the alien stalks a group of policemen through a series of catacombs. It shows the main sign in the film where it doesn't try to be a cheesy film and aspires to something more serious. It has some suspense woven through, a couple of minor shocks when the creature comes roaring out to take a victim, and the combination makes it look a lot more like a horror film than a cult film. The creature itself is one of the best parts, with the appearance of a large imposing creature, with big claws, a huge mid-section and mean, imposing head with large fangs and rows of teeth. It makes for an impressive looking creature. And then there's the nudity, again, which is never a bad thing either.
The Bad News: Any movie with this much cheese has some bad things with it. The biggest one to hurt this film is it's very slow pace. It doesn't seem like the kind of plot that should sustain a film as long as this one is, forcing a lot of scenes to carry out longer than they should and ruining the pace. It's not as tight as it should be, and at times, it meanders around for far too long than it should. There is also a lot of moments that are either written to the point of confusion or show what little thought was put into it. The college that only has about a dozen or so attendants. There's only one teacher on campus, and therefore one class being taught, and the entire subplot with the police are mere examples. There is some other small little outcries here and there, but they aren't as damaging to the film as the other ones are.
The Final Verdict: Guilty of mainly being a cheese-fest, that doesn't mean it's all that bad. It's got a little bit of everything that makes it a little better than it should be. It's still got some problems, so take caution with it and it will be, at best, a guilty pleasure.
Rated R: Graphic Language, Nudity, Graphic Violence, and attempted interspecies Rape
Undoubtedly, Paul Matthews will go into the history books as one of the true masters of the sci fi/horror genre. An alien crash lands into an all girls college, and runs amok attempting to fulfill its inborn mating desire. This movie has it all: action, suspense, characters, setting, a plot, girls in the shower, undressing, catfighting. All that along with powerful performances by Todd Jenson, Clifton Lloyd Bryan, and especially Nigel Harrison. With jaw-dropping special effects, and flawless camera work, you WILL feel like you are actually a part of this wild ride. On the minus side, the DVD special edition I had viewed lacked any actual special features. It contained only a selection for playing the movie, and changing the audio options. Although, 'audio options' was misspelled to be 'Audio Optons,' and obvious jab by Matthews at modern society and correctly spelled words.
Hopelessly awful B-movie horror flick. Blatantly shot in the UK but
featuring lame American accents, it's set in a girl's college (uh-oh)
needless to say, means there's going to be at least one scene of naked
nubiles in the shower - and, oops, there it went. And that's yer lot for
the rest of the film, Mister Raincoat. To fill up the rest of the time,
there's a rubber monster covered in squelchy goo that appears to want to
coat the girlies in marzipan (at least, I _think_ it's marzipan); a not
comically inept but fortunately swiftly-massacred SWAT team; Oliver Tobias
as a detective (his presence onscreen is always a sign that you've rented a
Turkey) and a final scene in an oil refinery which, despite the efforts of
an under-budgeted special effects team, is quite obviously not blowing up.
Even the terminally bored/sexually frustrated are advised not to touch this
waste of time with a ten-foot pole.
The irony is, Samantha Janus is a fine comedienne. We can only assume that she did this for the exposure, cause that's what they gave her. Indecent at that.
"Breeders" surprised me very much. Granted, it's extremely low-budget, but the effects were decent, and the creature was fantastic (though appeared to be an Alien/Pumpkinhead combo). I also felt leading actors Todd Jensen and Samantha Janus did a fine job with the material. Not the greatest, but certainly more enjoyable than the average B-grade monster flick. One question, though - why was there suddenly a huge oil refinery near the school? Guess they needed something to so they could have all the explosions.
*** This review may contain spoilers ***
Of all the movies in the history of movies I can't imagine someone
sitting down and saying, I want to spend X amount of dollars (or pounds
sterling) to remake that flawed classic film called "Breeders." Lots of
stories have been turned into films about meteors coming to Earth with
something sinister lurking inside. Why not put your money into making a
spectacular 3D remake of "It Came from Outer Space" instead? Why look
for a dingy nudie flick that existed only for the purpose of showing
off a rubbery set of monsters and some naked coeds? Was the script for
the 1986 version of "Breeders" so inspiring that these producers felt
it had to be done again and this time done correctly? When you come
down to it, the only reason this film exists is to show off Britcom
cutie pie Samantha Janus. But if you're gonna make a skin flick and
exploit Sam Janus in it, you'd better have her more naked than this and
naked more often than this if you want to succeed.
Meteor lands ... monster escapes ... coeds duff their clothes ... monster eats people ... and another "what if?" ending ensues.
Honestly, I never thought I would ever recommend the original "Breeders" over any other film but this would be the one to come in 2nd Place to it.
Dire beyond belief. Obviously set on the Isle of Man masquerading as the US - very badly - and full of cut-rate British actors who can't do American accents. A monster that looks like an unarticulated promotional cut-out for Alien from a movie store, with the most inflexible feet ever seen. Girls in the shower, undressing, catfighting, blah, blah, blah. You get the idea. Don't watch it, run away, hide, AVOID.
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