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Dinnerladies (TV Series 1998–2000) Poster

(1998–2000)

Quotes

Stan: Male maintenance person entering female lavatory area!

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Bren: Have you never seen "Vertigo"?

Norman: Seen it? I've got it.

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Tony: Are you all right Bren? Did you get any?

Bren: What?

Tony: At the weekend! Did you get any?

Bren: Any sex? No I had to go to the laundrette. Did you, Tony?

Tony: Hollow flipping laughter.

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Tony: All a bloke really wants for Christmas is a voucher that says, "Take this to 32 Sycamore Avenue. Mrs. Janet Farnesbarnes will be stark naked waiting for you. You can have as long as you like, you get a cup of tea afterwards and you don't have to have a bloody conversation!"

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Tony: I'm a lonely celibate, me. I do nothing. I go home and fry eggs. If I ever do get a girl to come back to my place I won't know what to do with her. I'll be flicking hot fat at her with a spatula.

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[Dolly has revealed that she and her husband are going on a luxury cruise]

Jean: Luxury, my do dah! It's a converted World War Two aircraft carrier!

Dolly Belfield: We have our own suite, our own balcony...

Jean: Your own Bofors Gun!

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Anita: [on the topic of Christmas decorations] Is genitalia the silver stuff you drape over the branches?

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Jane: [on the subject of the holiday to Marbella] So is there anyone you want to bring?

Tony: What "bring" bring?

Jane: No not "bring" bring, just bring.

Twinkle: You can get phones that do that.

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Norman: I'm agoraphobic. I fell off a diving board in Guernsey!

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Petula Gordino: [going to hospital] What ward will I be on?

Paramedic: 8

Petula Gordino: Mixed isn't it? - might have a bit of sex.

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Dolly Belfield: I didn't just come up the Manchester Ship Canal on a Ryvita, you know.

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Stan: You don't treat a female woman like that.

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Tony: I didn't go mad this morning and order one old lady instead of a load of broccoli?

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Stan: [on being asked what his Millennium regrets are] I failed to exploit the potential of the cross-head screwdriver. It was publicly pretty shameful.

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Stan: That's Frank Sinatra on toast, is that.

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Sue: Now that's very interesting. You see, I believe in a world of infinite possibility.

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See also

Trivia | Goofs | Crazy Credits | Alternate Versions | Connections | Soundtracks

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