[one of Alex's muffins is embedded in the door]
Bosley: What do you call this?
Dylan: Chinese fighting muffin.
Bosley: That's not funny. A friend of mine took a fighting muffin in the chest; they sent him home in four Ziploc bags.
Chad: Starfish, I would just like to say that I'm honored, honored to see you taking an interest in my work and I also think you're very pretty and... (sees girls getting scuba gear on) Starfish? Where are you going? Starfish are you going swimming? Where are you going? Where are you going again Starfish? Was it the Chad?
Dylan: No the Chad was great.
Chad: The Chad was great.
Chad: Is it the eggs?
Dylan: It's not the eggs.
Chad: Is it the boat?
Dylan: No, it's not the boat, I have to go though.
Chad: Is it the Chad?
Dylan: It might be the Chad.
Chad: The Chad... It's the Chad!
[Chad falls into the water]
Eric Knox: So where we going, House of Pancakes or The Sizzler?
Vivian Wood: What are you, the cheapest man on the planet?
Chad: The Chad... is stuck.
[Natalie, Dylan, Alex, and Chad are on a boat]
Natalie: Hey Chad, does this thing go any faster? We're kind of in a hurry, and I could really open her up, and if you wanted me to drive.
[turns to Dylan]
Natalie: I could drive, right?
Chad: I'm sorry, friend of Starfish, but there's only one captain of this love boat. That captain is me. The Chad.
Natalie: The Chad.
[both Natalie and Dylan are giggling]
Natalie: Chad, captain of the love boat-
Chad: [correcting Natalie] *The* Chad.
Natalie: We're kind of in a hurry.
Chad: [repeating] *The* Chad.
Roger Corwin: You're very good. With your hands. I could use someone like you on my staff.
Alex: Thanks for the offer but my hands aren't going anywhere near your staff.
Vivian Wood: Never send a man to do a woman's job.
Charlie: Once upon a time there were three very different little girls who grew up to be three very different women with three things in common: they're brilliant, they're beautiful, and they work for me. My name is Charlie.
Alex: Jason, I haven't been honest with you; I'm not a bikini waxer!
Alex: Oh, my God, you're hit!
Jason Gibbons: No, it's nothing. I mean the squibs hurt a little when they go off but... what happened to my trailer?
Jason Gibbons: Were you in there while that happened? I mean, look at it!
Alex: Jason, I haven't been completely honest with you. I'm not a bikini waxer.
Jason Gibbons: Bummer. I mean... that was kind of a turn on.
Alex: All right, let's get one thing straight between us.
Jason Gibbons: Go ahead. We're way past keeping secrets at this point.
Alex: This is gonna be long, hard and rough.
Jason Gibbons: Sometimes when it's rough I just get there faster.
Alex: If you don't diffuse this bomb, Logan, LA is gonna become a new underwater attraction.
Jason Gibbons: Which wire? The red one or the blue one?
Alex: Bump bump baah.
Jason Gibbons: That is not helping.
Alex: Ooh, my muffins.
Jason Gibbons: This is stupid. Why wouldn't I just yank the wire.
Alex: No honey, the real mechanism is inside encased in a titanium shell, if you trip the external feedback circuit the bomb will detonate.
Jason Gibbons: Wow! You know for a bikini waxer you know an awful lot about bombs.
Alex: Isn't it amazing how much you can learn off of the internet?
Bosley: And I had a really long talk with a squirrel one time, longer in fact than I can with most people.
Eric Knox: I gotta go torture and kill your boss.
Roger Corwin: He said what? Over my dead body? I can accept those terms.
Alex: Your methodologies are antiquated and weak. Your procedures of approval ensure that only the least radical ideas are rewarded. Meanwhile your competition is innovating.
Dylan: [quietly] Ow.
Alex: You. What was the last suggestion you made to your boss?
Red Star Systems Techie: I said the coke machine should be free.
Red Star Systems Techie: Because caffeine helps us program.
Jason Gibbons: So when do I get to meet this Charlie.
Alex: Well, Charlie's not a very social person.
Jason Gibbons: But Charlie's a chick right? I mean, she's definitely a woman?
Bouncer: Hey you! You wanna dance on stage?
Bouncer: No. Stage is for the ladies.
Natalie: Oh, then you know what? I'm just gonna find a place on the floor.
Pete: [to bouncer] Wait a minute!
Pete: This is like Soul Train's highest honor, I am NOT gonna sit here and let you NOT go up there so yeah, she'll go.
Natalie: Really? Cause I've always wanted to go up there.
Pete: Have a great time!
Natalie: See you in a minute!
Natalie: I have to go. I can't explain now but will you call me tomorrow?
[Natalie runs off. Runs back, kisses him and runs off again. Pete turns to the bouncers]
Bouncer: Oh, you bad!
Bouncer: Yeah, you bad!
Pete: Finally you guys warm up a little.
Dylan: And that's kicking your ass!
Dylan: Figures that I would find the perfect guy, and he would already have the perfect girl.
Natalie: Do you know how hard it is to find a quality man in Los Angeles?
Natalie: They don't call me balls out Natalie for nothing.
Natalie: [to UPS guy] I signed that release form,so you can just feel free to stick things in my slot.
Natalie: Alex! Don't let him get away!
[Vivian Wood steals Natalie's cell phone from her while she's talking to her friend Pete]
Vivian Wood: Is this the famous Charlie?
Pete: No, this is Pete.
Dylan: Hold that thought.
Chad: Where are you going, Starfish and Friends?
[a film version of [link=tt0083486] is playing]
Mr. Jones: [sighs] Another movie from an old TV show.
Natalie: Hey! I like that guy!
[During Natalie's dream scene]
Natalie: Eduardo, move me.
[ordering at the drive through]
Dylan: I'll have three burgers, three French fries and three cherry pies. What do you guys want?
Eric Knox: You're a woman, you've got female intuition, *and* you're a detective... and you didn't know this was going to happen?
Alex: What do you know, a guy who speaks Natalie.
Alex: They're not Chinese, they're not fighting, they're blueberry!
Alex: Let's see if I can win the teddy bear!
[mocking Eric Knox]
Dylan: I don't know how to make chicken... jerk.
Natalie: Wait you guys, I'm not a yoyo!
Eric Knox: You know they say that in death all life's questions are answered. Will you let me know?
[Knox shoots Dylan out the window]
[making bird noise]
Natalie: It's a sitta pygmaya. A pygmy nuthatch! They only live in one place. CARMEL!
Flight Attendant: I said, "Look, lady, it's not the seats that have gotten smaller, it's your ass that has gotten bigger."
Dylan: To Charlie.
Alex: To Charlie.
Natalie: To Charlie.
Bosley: To Charlie.
Bosley: Let me toast you ladies, with some ice cubes!
Alex: Why do they always run?