Sex and the City (1998–2004)
Samantha: You men have no idea what we're dealing with down there. Teeth placement, and jaw stress, and suction, and gag reflex, and all the while bobbing up and down, moaning and trying to breathe through our noses. Easy? Honey, they don't call it a job for nothing.
Carrie: The most important thing in life is your family. There are days you love them, and others you don't. But, in the end, they're the people you always come home to. Sometimes it's the family you're born into and sometimes it's the one you make for yourself.
Samantha: Fuck me badly once, shame on you. Fuck me badly twice, shame on me.
Charlotte: How can you forget a guy you've slept with?
Carrie: Toto, I don't think we're in single digits anymore.
Carrie: The universe may not always play fair, but at least it's got a hell of a sense of humor.
Carrie: I will never be the woman with the perfect hair, who can wear white and not spill on it.
Samantha: The country runs better with a good looking man in the White House. I mean, look what happened with Nixon; no one wanted to fuck him, so he fucked everyone.
Carrie: I revealed too much too soon. I was emotionally slutty.
Miranda: Sexy is what I try to get them to see after I win them over with my personality.
Charlotte: Is it so much to ask that you not wear your dress up around your see-you-next-Tuesday?
Samantha: My what?
Charlotte: See... you... next
Carrie: Tuesday? Oh my god, was that a Schoolhouse Rock I missed?
Carrie: Balls are to men what purses are to women. It's just a little bag, but we'd feel naked in public without it.
Samantha: I remember when Danny had more than one thought, and they all involved going up my ass.
Charlotte: You had sex with Danny?
Samantha: Sure, he's cute, straight and we've known him for ten years. Haven't we all had sex with Danny?
Carrie: Oh yeah, that one weekend I was bored.
Charlotte: Just a New Year's Eve kiss.
Miranda: I showed him a boob in a coat checkroom.
Carrie: Just one?
Miranda: I sensed he couldn't commit.
Miranda: What's the big mystery? It's my clitoris, not the sphinx.
Carrie: I think you just found the title of your autobiography.
Carrie: So what are we going to do? Sit around bars, sipping Cosmos and sleeping with strangers when we're eighty?
Carrie: It's a slippery slope. First you're going once a week, and then it's three times a week, and then the next thing you know, you're starting every sentence with, "My shrink says".
Miranda: My shrink says thats a very common fear.
Miranda: I once was broken up with by a guy's doorman: "I'm sorry Ms. Hobbes, Jonathan won't be coming down. Ever."
Samantha: I once dated a guy 'cause he had a pool. I'd go over and get all cocoa-buttered up. His mom brought my Kool-Aid
Samantha: Yeah, I was thirteen! And honey, you should have seen my tan!
Miranda: Do any of you have a completely unremarkable friend or maybe a houseplant I could go to dinner with on Saturday night?
Samantha: You have a lot of nerve telling me to get a wax. If you were in Aruba the natives could bead your back. And it's not just there: every time I blow you I feel like I'm flossing.
Carrie: My Zen teacher also said the only way to true happiness is to live in the moment and not be worried about the future.
Miranda: Soulmates only exist in the Hallmark aisle at Duane Reid Drugs.
Charlotte: Will you please not use the f-word in Vera Wang?
Miranda: I said no white, no ivory, no nothing that says 'virgin'. I have a child. The jig is up.
Natasha: Yes, I'm sorry about it all. I'm sorry that he moved to Paris and fell in love with me. I'm sorry we ever got married. I'm sorry he cheated on me with you, and I'm sorry that I pretended to ignore it for as long as I did. I'm sorry I found you in my apartment, fell down the stairs, and broke my tooth. I'm very sorry that after much painful dental surgery, this tooth is still a different color than this tooth. Finally, I'm very sorry that you felt the need to come down here. Now not only have you ruined my marriage, you've ruined my lunch.
Samantha: There isn't enough wall space in New York City to hang all of my exes. Let me tell you, a lot of them were hung.
Stanford: It's so not fair. All the good ones are straight... even the gay ones.
Samantha: I'll admit I have had to polish myself off once or twice, but yes, when I RSVP to a party, I make it my business to come.
Samantha: What am I supposed to say? "Hi, this is my lesbian lover. And p.s.: I'm done with dick"?
Miranda: Okay, I'm definitely in the slow sexual group if even Charlotte is open to this.
Miranda: I'm fine... but Charlotte, maybe your "hmmm hmmm" would like an order of fries?
Charlotte: I read that if you don't have sex for a year, you can actually become "revirginized".
Charlotte: Can you have an affair with your own husband?
Charlotte: We finally have the penis working. I don't want to scare it.
Anthony Marantino: I am sleeping and walking! Sleeping and walking! How am I doing that?
Miranda: I'm gonna ask you an unpleasant question now- why did you ever say yes?
Carrie: The man you love kneels down in the street and offers you a ring, you say yes that's what you do.
Miranda: I'm dating skid-marks guy. When your boyfriend is so comfortable that he cannot be bothered to wipe his ass, that's the end of romance, right there.
Miranda: I didn't tell Walker I was pregnant.
Miranda: It didn't come up! If Walker had said to me, "Have you given birth recently?", I would have said, "Well, first of all, define recently."
Stanford: I don't like having anything inserted in my anus, even though it may come as a surprise.
Samantha: Well, I don't know how you people do it. All that emotional chow-chow. It's exhausting.
Samantha: You get married and hope for the best. If it doesn't work out you'll get divorced. You can take tap with Bojangles over here.
Carrie: No I can't take a vow of for ever and ever if what I mean is for the forseeable future. I couldn't do that to Aiden.
Charlotte: Carrie, you're right, you have to tell him. But not before the wedding, it's supposed to be my week.
Miranda: It's you day. You get a day.