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1 out of 1 people found the following review useful:

Amazing Disgrace

2/10
Author: Richard Harrison from Australia
15 November 2009

*** This review may contain spoilers ***

I'm giving this 2 stars (rather than 1) since it is so bad that it bounced off the bottom of the scale and began heading towards the entertaining end of the spectrum again. I must admit, I only caught the last 45 minutes and while I was working on my laptop but most older viewers will only need minimal conscious facility to assimilate this movie. Younger viewers should probably only view it in the company of an adult that can explain it's pure fiction originating from a time of scientific ignorance.

One of the many departures from the biblical version is that Noah Danza wants God to give him a little more time before the flood so he can attend his son's basketball match. What joy can these idiots get from competing with and beating a bunch of people they believe will soon be drowned? And surely the hypothetical God entity is scratching its heads at this point and wondering whether this smug little bunch of monkeys really needs to be saved. In the end the story is cowed by modern sensibilities and Danza gets everyone in town on board, they have a bit of a float, and God pulls the rainbow out of its infinity of posteriors.

Of course this version retains all of the scientific corruption of the original fable vis-a-vis global flooding and loading of animals two by two. Why make any concessions to conservation of biomass when you can't breed up a viable population from two individuals anyway? We are told God created the whole lot in a day to start with. Surely it can crank them all out again post-flood. Maybe it had already blown its creative budget and wouldn't be back up to full world building strength for a few millennia.

Its sad and pathetic but still rather humorous watching the film makers trying to co-opt the religion of the Jews as they cram Old Testament harshness into modern American Fairyland. The story of the Ark was gibberish to begin with but after so many transformations its just ludicrous. They may as well just stand before the camera for two hours shrieking and making faces. Production costs would be lower. Then again, as has been intimated by an earlier poster, perhaps not that much lower.

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0 out of 1 people found the following review useful:

hope and faith have no limitations for good

9/10
Author: jfkinjackson from United States
23 April 2006

This is a wonderful and spiritually inspiring movie for anyone and is especially great for families. It is an excellent example of how hard we can make it for God to get our attention and how resistant we our to follow his direction for our lives. This story teaches so many lessons of faith, communication, love, and relating to one another. Looking into this film will help one to see within themselves. Anyone can identify with at least one of the characters, and there is something to be learned from each one. More importantly this film opens ones eyes to not only look for what is right but to see the bigger picture beyond that to the sacrifice of self for the greater good. Truly an inspiring film with the right touch of lighthearted comedy.

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3 out of 7 people found the following review useful:

A neat TV movie

Author: Darth_Voorhees from Chicagoland Area
18 June 2000

This is disney`s story about a housebuilder named Norman that takes the role of Noah and builds an ark.He builds houses just right.Until an angel comes and says He has to build an ark.In 40 days just like the real noah.Once this gets out everyone thinks he`s crazy.His family and friends everyone.But when he`s finished.And then the storm comes.Everybody is in shame.They come to the ark.Norman saves everybody`s life.And the movie is over.Disney makes great TV movies.This one is the best.See it if you want a funny yet serious movie.

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1 out of 4 people found the following review useful:

Does God loves all colors?

1/10
Author: Askrid from Germany
6 April 2007

*** This review may contain spoilers ***

Why are there only WASPs on this ark? Where are the African, the Asian and all the other people? It occurs to me, that this film implies a racist latency, because only white men are saved from the Flood.

Also the Special effects look like a 20 year old computer game. I wonder also, why such rubbish is dubbed, while really good movies are only subtitled in Germany.

Here you can also see, that Tony Danza slowly is going south. Perhaps he was all the time there.

So the movie is maybe something for right-winged Christians, for all the others a really embarrassing play.

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1 out of 4 people found the following review useful:

Silly little story to keep you amused

3/10
Author: Keith F. Hatcher from La Rioja, Spain
20 June 2004



Light entertainment which might have you smiling from time to time; all so implausible, the world of make-believe. Even the actors appear not to be acting, but just playing at acting. Easy-going so as to keep children happy, but most certainly if only about 7 years old, or if you are 97 years old and want to sleep for a while. A far-fetched fantasy for over-anxious minds, perhaps, and I cannot really believe that anybody concerned with making this film could have taken anything even slightly seriously. However, if the planet keeps on warming up, and rainstorms continue getting worse, who knows whether in the next twenty years you will be building ships in your garden in Dakota? It is worth thinking about.

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2 out of 6 people found the following review useful:

Noah of the '90s

10/10
Author: Hollywood_Yoda from Outside Hollywood
14 July 2005

This is the best movie made for television that I have ever had the blessing to see. Especially to see such a good actor as Tony Danza in such a movie, makes it all the much better. The story line and flow of the movie are GREAT, which is hard to come by these days, in a television movie, and even some theater released films. And having all those different animals on the ark made it really loving, and a good setting for a family movie. It is about time to see such a splendid movie, especially when it is about something so controversial as a biblical story. This is a movie where all people alike will feel the same after seeing it. That is why it gets a special 10/10 rating.

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3 out of 8 people found the following review useful:

not very good

1/10
Author: k_jasmine_99 from Nebraska
18 July 2000

I'm never sure what this movie is trying to be, or what point it is trying to make. Different ideas start, but there is no finish. Why did Norman Waters have to build the ark? What did his wife's death have to do with it? What was the point of this movie? Poor writing, amateur acting. Sorry, I like Tony Danza, but this movie got a "1" rating from me.

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