My name is Elfangor. I am a prince from the Andalite world. I am dying. My ship has crash-landed on a planet called Earth. This is not the first time my hooves have touched the surface of this vast and beautiful world, but it will be the last. The Yeerks have launched their silent attack on Earth. Yeerks are evil parasites who live in the brains of other species. Now their goal is to enslave every human being on this planet. As I looked into five pairs of innocent human eyes, I knew what I had to do. These young people had no knowledge of the invasion, no idea that some of their closest friends and family members were already under Yeerk control. But they would soon bear the responsibility of saving their entire world. I gave them the power to morph, Andalite technology no other species has ever possessed. Now these humans will be able to use the energy and instincts of any living creature to resist the Yeerks. They can become any animal they touch. Many Andalites have called me a ... Written by
Unlike in the book series, where any normal clothing the Animorphs wore during morph was either destroyed or left behind, the TV series showed the Animorphs capable of morphing their clothing whenever they transformed; no explanation was given for this, beyond simple dramatic license. See more »
...and in this series, I've been reduced to an annoying jock with a gay hairstyle. Remember my friend Marco, who got all the good lines in the books? Well, in this series his one-liners put Mr. Freeze to shame. Remember our uber-evil nemesis Visser Three? He's a bald guy with inane catchphrases. Remember Rachel, "Xena, the Warrior Princess", and Cassie, my sensitive and caring love interest? They've been turned into mindless bimbos by the 10 (!) writers who decided the original characters weren't cool enough for TV. Remember the awesome extra-terrestial Ax, who was cool, intelligent, and really, really liked cinnamon buns? In this series he's the Token Alien with an extremely annoying voice. Remember the witty banter our team had in the books? In this series our dialogue is so dreary and stupid it's obvious the writers were pandering to the lowest common denominator.
So forget everything you thought you knew about the Animorphs! It was Cassie who became allergic to morphing, not Rachel, thought-speak is *supposed* to echo, and Visser Three and Ax, rarely, if ever, appeared as Andalites (no, it has nothing to do with the budget!).
I'm not crazy. And I'm not lying. The jerks are all around us. And if you're unlucky, one of them might adapt one of your favourite books, or series, or graphic novels, into a really awful TV show. You've been warned.
"Finally... television worth watching." ~ (the very bald) Visser Three
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