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Gordon 'ALF' Shumway: You use, you lose!

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Kermit: There's nothing cool about a fool on drugs!

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Michael: [Alf shows Michael what he will look like in the future, via a mirror] Who is that?

Gordon 'ALF' Shumway: Well, it's not Freddy Krueger. This is you. Pretty pitiful, huh?

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Michaelangelo: Cowabunga, dude! How did you ever get so totally cool?

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Theodore: [the chipmunks and ALF discover what Michael is hiding in the box. Theodore sniffs the air] What's that weird smell?

Simon: I hate to suggest this, but my guess would be... marijuana, an unlawful substance used to induce artificial highs.

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Bugs Bunny: [encountering Michael in a alley] What's dis?

[picks up something Michael had dropped by a trashcan]

Bugs Bunny: ... A joint? So, what's the big attraction?

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Theodore: [shocked after discovering that Michael stole Corey's piggy bank] I can't believe it! Corey's own brother?

Gordon 'ALF' Shumway: Wally never did this sort of thing to The Beav.

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Gordon 'ALF' Shumway: [after emerging from a picture frame on Corey's dresser after her piggy bank is stolen] You wanna help track down the thief, Garfield?

Garfield: [Garfield is a lamp] Hey, going through life with a blue lampshade is work enough. Wake me when the lasagna comes.

Gordon 'ALF' Shumway: [yanks the lamp attachment off Garfield] Let me rephrase that: do you wanna help, or do you wanna be lunch?

Garfield: [salutes and climbs off the dresser] My luck to be stuck on a dresser with a pushy alien.

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Theodore: There's someone who needs your help!

Alvin: What? Another autograph hound?

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Gordon 'ALF' Shumway: The sound of a breaking piggy... if ever I've heard one.

Garfield: Two sounds you can't miss: The sound of a breaking piggy, and the sizzle of hot lasagna.

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Simon: I don't like the looks of this.

Garfield: Neither do I. No food in sight.

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Theodore: What's all this for?

Alvin: Either someone's conducting a major chemistry experiment, or this is a serious no-no.

Gordon 'ALF' Shumway: Toto, something tells me we're not in cartoon territory anymore.

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Bugs Bunny: Okay, you win. You got me dead to rights. I'm not a cop, I'm a rabbit, but just because I got long ears doesn't mean there's nothing in between 'em.

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Michael: What's wrong? What's happening?

Kermit: Drugs! This what they do to your brain, Michael.

Gonzo: Actually, this is just one artist's conception.

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Michael: I gotta get off of these drugs.

Huey: Drugs? Oh, bad news, Michael!

Dewey: Why don't you just say "no"?

Michael: Well, maybe it's because I don't want to.

Louie: Maybe it's because you don't know how.

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Smoke: Open the box, Corey.

Pooh: If I were you, which I'm not, I wouldn't listen to him.

[Smoke throws Pooh into a cabinet]

Pooh: Oh, bother!

Corey: Pooh bear!

Smoke: Relax, he's only cloth and stuffing. Besides, that bear doesn't get around much. I do. Trust me. Open the box.

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Michael: Where's the color?

Bugs Bunny: Listen, kid. This is the past, and the past is in black and white. Get it?

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Michael: Hey! He's gonna fall!

Kermit: Abandon brain!

Gonzo: Weirdos and pigs first!

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Smoke: You were running from a rabbit? He's a cartoon!

[laughs]

Bugs Bunny: Look who's talking.

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Baby Piggy: Hey, this isn't romantic, it's not even pretty, and most important, I DON'T LIKE IT IN HERE!

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Bugs Bunny: What's up, Doc, is your life, if you don't get off those drugs.

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Smoke: Listen to me, Mikey.

Michael: I think I've listened to you long enough!

Smoke: You can't get rid of me this easily! I'll be back, and you can bet on it!

Michael: He's right, you know. He will try to come back.

Corey: When he gets here, we'll be ready for him! Right, guys?

All Cartoons: Right!

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Daffy Duck: This is odd. The picture is very dark. All I can see is...

Michael: You're looking into a bowling ball.

Daffy Duck: Yes, of course. That would explain the 7-10 split.

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Daffy Duck: [about Michael's future] Ah, yes, I can see it all! Well, some of it.

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Gordon 'ALF' Shumway: That kid's got a one-way ticket to Nowheresville.

Theodore: Simon suspects drugs.

Pooh: Oh, my!

Slimer: Ooh! That's bad moves!

Alvin: Michael needs our help!

Slimer: Then let's help him!

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Corey: You're acting really weird.

Michael: So who asked you?

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[Bugs takes out a blue block with a red button on it. He presses it and drops it on the ground. It turns into a time machine]

Michael: A time machine?

Bugs Bunny: I borrowed it from some coyote.

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[Michael and Smoke have fallen through an open manhole into a sewer. They see Michaelangelo of the Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles]

Michaelangelo: Cowabunga, dude! How did you ever get so totally cool?

Michael: What are we doing down here?

Michaelangelo: Like, you fell through a radical hole, dude! You could've avoided it, but you weren't thinking. Come to think of it, that's a lot of your problem.

Michael: What problem?

Michaelangelo: Drugs, bud. Your brain must be, like, really messed up.

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See also

Trivia | Goofs | Crazy Credits | Alternate Versions | Connections | Soundtracks

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