The Adventures of Young Indiana Jones: Travels with Father (1996 TV Movie)
Anna Jones: [scolding their son] Henry, we are guests in this house.
Prof. Henry Jones, Sr.: Guests, Junior. Not rampaging barbarians.
Anna Jones: Your father will deal with you in the morning.
Indiana Jones: What's he gonna do?
Anna Jones: Have you shot in the morning. I will provide the blindfold.
Leo Tolstoy: You reeking little swine, how dare you shoot me in the ass!
Indiana Jones: I thought you were a giant weazle.
Leo Tolstoy: Do I look like a giant weazle? Is it my twitching snout? My long, hairless tail? Are all little English boys as stupid as you?
Indiana Jones: I'm not English, I'm American.
Leo Tolstoy: That explains it.
Indiana Jones: You have dogs? So do I. One I mean, her name's Indiana. I haven't seen her in over a year, though. 'Cause we've been traveling so much.
Leo Tolstoy: You miss her?
Indiana Jones: Yeah, you bet I do. Can't wait to see her when we get home. Wonder if she'll still remember me.
Leo Tolstoy: Of course she will. Dogs are better than people.
Indiana Jones: Hey, they were calling you Tolstoy. I think my father has some of your books. Didn't you write that eh, that really big fat one about war?
Leo Tolstoy: And peace.
Indiana Jones: No kiddin'. My father thinks you're great!
Leo Tolstoy: Your dad's an imbicile.
Indiana Jones: He's usually not wrong about this stuff. You should ask him.
Leo Tolstoy: Do not try to see God through spectacles borrowed from the church. See God through your own eyes.
Indiana Jones: Father, I don't think that he understand your ancient Greek.
Prof. Henry Jones, Sr.: Well he should have understood it.
Indiana Jones: Father, I really doubt if a bus is even gonna come and if it does, there's probably only one a day and, and it's probably already gone!
Prof. Henry Jones, Sr.: Junior, you are now being cynical.
Indiana Jones: [beneath his breath] Yes sir.
Prof. Henry Jones, Sr.: See, after skepticism comes cynicism.
Indiana Jones: [Indy and his father are splashing around in a lake] I didn't even know you could swim.
Prof. Henry Jones, Sr.: There's a lot you don't know about me, Junior.
[splashes water at his son]
Prof. Henry Jones, Sr.: When I was five years old, I used to go swimming in a loch. Now that was cold!
Indiana Jones: [Indy and his father are splashing around in a lake] Father!
Prof. Henry Jones, Sr.: What?
Indiana Jones: You know how you said that we should let ourselves be consumed by nature?
Prof. Henry Jones, Sr.: Yes.
Indiana Jones: Well, nature is consuming our clothes.
Indiana Jones: So your name's Aristotle?
Artistotle: Yes. So my wife said: "Aristotle, she said, if you don't call that donkey Plato, you gonna have no one to talk to."
Artistotle: Hey, are you interested in politics?
Prof. Henry Jones, Sr.: No not much.
Artistotle: Ah, then you're an idiot.
Prof. Henry Jones, Sr.: [brief pause] Thank you, Aristotle.
Artistotle: My pleasure.
Prof. Henry Jones, Sr.: No, he's right, Junior. Our word 'idiot' comes from a Greek word which means 'one who is not interested in politics'.
Indiana Jones: Yeah, I, I'll remember that.
Indiana Jones: I'm bored.
Prof. Henry Jones, Sr.: Bored? Bored? We're sitting in one of the most fascinating libraries in this part of the world and you're bored?
Indiana Jones: It's also the only library.
Prof. Henry Jones, Sr.: I will not have you bored.
Indiana Jones: But what causes nature?
Nikos Kazantzakis: Bravo. That is a question that comes from wisdom and not from logic. You have found the question your father hoped he would find.
Indiana Jones: I, I did?
Nikos Kazantzakis: You see, God, the unmoved mover, the prime cause, God dances beyond the bounds of logic.
Indiana Jones: A ladder is made of wood, right?
Prof. Henry Jones, Sr.: Yes.
Indiana Jones: This cage is made out of wood.
Indiana Jones: Ergo, our cage is a ladder.
Prof. Henry Jones, Sr.: That's not what I call Aristotlian logic.
Indiana Jones: We need a ladder, father. Let's turn our cage into a ladder.