Captain Jyanix Bach: I joined the Empire about six years ago. I remember as a kid, you know, watching the holographic images and being excited about the new direction that the galaxy was taking. So, when I was old enough, I went down to the local recruitment center, you know, and signed up. And I've been here at Tattooine ever since. Most people would call this the ass end of space, but I like the small town feeling you get around here. I mean, we know everybody. Everybody. And I feel like I really make a difference here.
Captain Jyanix Bach: We got a, uh, routine stop here. We have a report of some stolen droids and, uh, we think these might be it.
[dismounts from his Speeder Bike and walks towards a couple of Jawas.]
Captain Jyanix Bach: Excuse me. Excuse me. Uh, do you wanna come over here, please? Yeah, I'm talkin' to you.
[one Jawa approaches Capt. Bach. as the other puts down a small droid.]
Captain Jyanix Bach: Uh, whose droid is this?
[Jawa answers in indistinct language.]
Captain Jyanix Bach: Uh-huh, it's your cousin's. Is this your cousin? Is this your cousin? Are you his cousin?
[the second Jawa replies in his language.]
Captain Jyanix Bach: No? Okay, then who are ya?
Captain Jyanix Bach: Ah, you're his friend. Well, Mr. Friend, would you, uh, step over here for a moment, please?
[turns back to the first Jawa.]
Captain Jyanix Bach: Okay, so the, uh, droid belongs to your cousin. Now, if I go over to that Sandcrawler over there, and ask to see your cousin, is he gonna have a bill of sale for this?
[Jawa tries to answer]
Captain Jyanix Bach: Okay. Well, what I'm gonna do now, sir, is place you under Imperial arrest, so we can only help.
[the second Jawa attempts to approach Capt. Bach, who points his blaster at him]
Captain Jyanix Bach: Hey! Am I talking to you? Am I talking to you?
[Jawa shakes head]
Captain Jyanix Bach: Then stay over there, and shut your mouth. Now if you move again, I'm, uh, gonna shoot ya.
[the first Jawa talks]
Captain Jyanix Bach: No. Yeah, I understand. I got a wife and kids too, but you don't see me out here stealing Imperial droids now, do ya? Yeah, sure, you'll never do it again.
[the second Jawa attempts to run away.]
Trooper HK-888: He's makin' a run for it!
[HK-888 aims and fires, blowing the Jawa's head off. Meanwhile, the first Jawa also makes a run for it]
Trooper HK-883: There goes the other one!
Captain Jyanix Bach: I got him!
[aims and shoots Jawa]
Captain Jyanix Bach: Okie-doke.
[points blaster towards camera]
Captain Jyanix Bach: Uh, shut the camera off. Yeah, shut it off! Shut it off!
Announcer: "Troops" is filmed on location with the men of the Imperial forces. All suspects are guilty. Period. Otherwise, they wouldn't be suspects, would they?
Captain Jyanix Bach: Well, what we had here was that these, uh, Jawas had stolen some Imperial property and it unfortunately turned violent. These Jawas do this kind of stuff all the time, pickin' up, you know, stray droids and sellin' them off to the highest-paying customer...
[Imperial unit blasts Sandcrawler in the background.]
Capt. Reh Teah: Well, we didn't find the droids we were looking for, but we did find one that a kid had reported stolen. So, he and his parents are gonna come down to the detention center and, uh, pick it up.
Captain Jyanix Bach: Well, yeah, I bet they'll be happy.
Capt. Reh Teah: Yup. That's what it's all about.