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Thrilling Drilling (1974)

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Cast

Cast overview:
Lynn Stevens ...
First Patient (as Linda L'Amour)
Marc Stevens ...
Himself
Eric Edwards ...
Sweets' Boyfriend (as Lou Lamb)
Jack Webb ...
Marty (as Chris Kissen)
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You have never visited a dentist's office like this.

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Adult

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12 September 1974 (USA)  »

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Infantile porn of the NY school stars lovely Leslie Murray
9 February 2011 | by (New York, New York) – See all my reviews

Just as Corbin Bernsen ruined the notion of a dentist's office with his yucky horror films, porn-maker Stan Sobel gives an unsavory gutter-level sex connotation to the dentist's chair in THRILLING DRILLING, revived on Vol. 109 of Something Weird's Dragon Art Theatre series.

The director's credit in IMDb at the moment (I'm in the process of fixing it) is given to Eduardo Cemano, who latterly has done some self-promotional voice-over DVD commentaries and raised his profile. However, credit on screen goes to Stan Sobel, credited with two interesting porn films featuring Judy Craven that I have seen, also via SWV. So the mystery becomes: is Stan Sobel merely another pseudonym for the live & kicking Eduardo Cemano? Based on the low quality of DRILLING, I don't expect anyone to claim authorship.

Entire film takes place in the dentist's office: waiting room and exam room. Bobby Astyr plays the dentist, who has mercy sex with just-arrived "in need of drilling" Linda L'Amour even though he's anxious to head home.

Linda L'Amour is one of several pseudonyms for Leslie Murray, one of my favorite unsung porn starlets who I actually got to meet in 1979 when she was promoting her film MORE THAN SISTERS. She's unusually beautiful (Annette Haven level) for her profession, but perhaps her bordering on anorexic thin build kept her from porn stardom. In any event, she's the only reason to suffer through DRILLING.

When her redhead gal pal Valerie Marron arrives, the flimsy script (largely ad libbed) has the girls deciding to impersonate a dentist and her assistant, to service any arriving patients sexually. Other than dental allusions & puns, this film resides in a universe where everything is about sex, period.

During a brief interlude of lesbian sex the duo is interrupted by the arrival of patient Eric Edwards, alliteratively credited as "Lou Lamb". He complains to fake dentist Murray that he's suffering from "hair in the throat", a comical malady caused by too-strenuous cunnilingus with his girl friend Sweets. As a distorted version of "The Third Man" theme music plays, Murray offers herself as an alternative to Sweets with positive results, while Marron confines herself to masturbation.

Kinky aspect here, more revealing about the filmmakers than porn in general, is Eric getting a bit high on anesthesia gas while Murray gives him a blow job. It's an imbecilic touch typical of the stupidity on display, though Murray manages to maintain a near-characterization with some dignity under these dire Z-level filming conditions.

Marron gets to perform when the next patient arrives, a geek who claims to be a football player, requiring gum massage. Preferred method is French kissing, but it escalates to full-scale sex.

To fill the hour-long running time, an absurdly pointless and laborious segment has Ultramax popping in with a jaw problem, caused by fellatio on her "too-big" boy friend Marc Stevens. Stevens plays himself, "porn star Marc Stevens" as Ultramax announces, and is so smug and full of himself that it's difficult even four decades later to sympathize with the tragic guy. (I've never been a fan of his in the first place.) With tag-team fellatio by Ultra and Murray, beginning with Ultra working on his limp dick orally in what photographs like a taffy pull, it is established that sex with MS can be hazardous to life & limb, but the intended humor does not materialize.

Marron & the footballer join in for a dull orgy, and film ends with a stupid punchline when Murray admits she has the clap. It's about as funny as would be a more adventurous (and serious) porn director a decade later having a promiscuous character announce apres-sex: "I'm HIV positive".

Claustrophobic junker is very poorly made, with consistently annoying dubbing of loud slurping and groaning sounds to try and make the mechanical sex footage "erotic". Music track steals heavily from Miles Davis, pirating the Columbia LPs circa "E.S.P" with mainly Wayne Shorter compositions, use of which I found completely inappropriate and insulting. This loser deserved the most boring of Muzak accompaniment instead. If indeed Cemano directed, he should immediately write Wayne a check for the performance rights -it's never too late to make amends.


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