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Jack Baker
Barbara Dare ...
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Candie Evans ...
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Tanya Foxx
Krista Lane
Tony Martino ...
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Blake Palmer
Steve Powers
Marc Wallice
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Raconteur Jeremy proves he can't direct
1 May 2015 | by (New York, New York) – See all my reviews

Ron Jeremy's fame and place in porn history are secure, but I don't recall anyone addressing the many videos he's directed -he seems to get a free pass. SEX BEAT is an example of shoddy workmanship and lack of the most basic talent - DVD version I watched was a mere hour long but that's a relief rather than a disappointment.

Krista Lane (a favorite actress of mine, misused here) has a Swingers magazine column entitled "Definitely Needing Tracy', undoubtedly a reference to the Rosanna Arquette/Madonna movie of that era. Convoluted plot line (plus improvised nonsense) has Connie impersonating Krista to hump rock star Dick Slick (Peter North) on the shoot of a music video.

Steve Powers (as Guitar Steve) is the nominal hero, first seen getting a Krista blow job and later in a threesome with some pretty girls. A girl named Julia masturbates while reading Swingers magazine and wants to meet Steve and Tracy. Citing (namedropping) Andrea True and Wendy O. Williams there is a notion that porn folks might crossover into mainstream music, including Steve.

Julia fantasizes a romantic tryst with Steve. Julia's boyfriend Don receives a letter from Tracy delivered by unlikely postman Marc Wallice (dressed in UPS shorts). Plot gets quite muddled at this point, as Julia faints, is carried away by kindly Blake Palmer but awakes thinking she is Tracy.

Julia seduces Blake and invites him to the big party Tracy is throwing. There's a gimmick here of Julia bumping her head (the on/off switch for her mental condition) but auteur Ron seems to have omitted a crucial scene -namely the bumping.

At the big party North as Dick Slick puts on a ridiculous accent and talks a bunch of nonsense. Things get even sloppier, as Don at the party gets to meet Tracy and their improvised dialog goes nowhere.

Jack Baker is the party emcee, with Krista (don't quit your day job) singing in a crappy rock band featuring Blake. Actual party is very poorly photographed and the video ends abruptly with her song, no plot threads resolved at all.

Pethaps this hour-long piece of junk was originally longer and the DVD is a fragment, but I've seen enough. Regarding the lack of resolution at the end of video, to paraphrase the final line of many a crummy sci-fi film: "There are things man is not meant to know".


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