IMDb > One Million Heels B.C. (1993) > Reviews & Ratings - IMDb

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One Million Heels B.C. More at IMDbPro »

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4 out of 4 people found the following review useful:

exercise in redundancy

Author: movieman_kev from United States
17 October 2005

Located as an extra on the DVD of "Scream Queen Hot Tub Party", this short film (only 35 minutes in length) has to do with a cave-girl (Michelle Bauer) being found by Rose (Cierra Knight) in her bedroom. So this calls for a lesbian shower with the strange monosyllabic neadrathal. The Cavegirl has to get accustomed to life in the 20th century after all But wait the cave-girl isn't alone and a cave-MAN shows up (OH NOS). Wait... why am I going on and on about the "plot"? t's just a very flimsy excuse to show gratuitous nudity and that's abundant in this film. However Michelle (who was approaching her 40's when this was made) is still the hottest girl in the short.

My Grade: D+

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A wonderfully raunchy and ridiculous cinematic ode to the naked female form

Author: Woodyanders ( from The Last New Jersey Drive-In on the Left
4 April 2007

*** This review may contain spoilers ***

This terrific piece of lascivious trash begins on a profoundly artistic note with Rose (the impossibly tall, busty and leggy Cierra Knight) cooling herself off with a garden hose. A lone foxy cavegirl (the divine Michelle Bauer) shows up. Rose and cavegirl engage in an ineptly staged catfight. Then they take a lengthy shower. Rose's friend Savannah (the incredibly buxom and voluptuous popular skin mag pin-up favorite Jerica Fox) arrives at the house. Since both Rose and Savannah are -- big surprise! -- strippers, they decide to show cavegirl the tricks of their trashy trade by performing a smoking hot sleazy bump'n'grind number. All three gals join together to take a steamy group bath. Meanwhile a hairy caveman prowls around the house. The late, great Gary Graver directs this choice chunk of tasty cheese with exceptional taste, restraint and subtlety, thus offering plenty of heavy insight on any given red-blooded all-American male's deep-seated need to see beautiful women parade about in their birthday suits. Iron Mike Buell's groovy score totally rocks. The crude, leering cinematography surveys all the naked flesh with unapologetic voyeuristic glee. Overall, this superbly mindless T&A schlock rates highly as the "Citizen Kane" of tacky no-brainer soft-core sexploitation short movies.

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