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Simply Irresistible (1999) Poster

Quotes

Tom Bartlett: Very bold plate selection, I might add. Explains the outfit.

Amanda Shelton: To eliminate a necklace would've taken another half hour.

Tom Bartlett: I see.

Amanda Shelton: Doesn't look like it takes you very long.

Tom Bartlett: Touché. I do seem to come out of the shower fully dressed in a blue suit.

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Amanda Shelton: My friend Nolan told me this thing about men and sex, that they think about it 238 times a day and when they do they adjust their belts.

Tom Bartlett: That's ridiculous, no, no, not the belt- I meant the amount. That's ridiculous. Do the math I'm awake maybe 17 hours a day. Times 60 would be 1020, divided by 238, that would be sex about every 4 minutes... yeah, yeah, that's about right.

Amanda Shelton: I've been here 20 minutes.

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Tom Bartlett: If the broom fits, ride it!

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Tom Bartlett: I love shoes.

Brian in Shoes: Me too Mr. Bartlett.

Tom Bartlett: I love how we sell shoes. I love how we sell them in twos, it's so... Noah's ark!

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Lois McNally: There's a very thin girl in your office.

Tom Bartlett: That's Chris. Lois, what is she doing in my office without me?

Lois McNally: I don't know, but I offered her a sandwich.

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Nolan Traynor: We can get other jobs.

Amanda Shelton: Sure, we can take out an add. We can afford it. "Situation Wanted: Shitty chef and sous chef seek restaurant to ruin."

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Jonathan Bendel: Lois, are you busy after I'm done chewing Tom's head off?

Lois McNally: You're the boss, Mr. Bendel.

Jonathan Bendel: No, no, no. Y-you-you be the boss this time.

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Lois McNally: If you need anything call me, although I don't know how to do anything except buy clothes.

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Nolan Traynor: Amanda, if I have to hear about him one more time, I'm gonna cut my ears off and mail 'em to him.

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Tom Bartlett: I think I've loved you since that first day in the market.

Amanda Shelton: You mean the day I had my hand up your pants. Men are so easy.

Tom Bartlett: Oh yeah.

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Jonathan Bendel: I like you, Lois. You're like a man. You think with your nuts.

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Nolan Traynor: Even Dumbo flew without his feather.

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Lois McNally: This is nutty... hazelnutty

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Tom Bartlett: It's like riding a bicycle. The first nine times you fall off but the tenth time you can go on for miles.

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Tom Bartlett: She cursed me. She said in this creepy little voice, a man's character is his destiny...

Lois McNally: Oh... She's a wise witch. She casts her spells in proverbs.

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Amanda Shelton: That's impossible.

Tom Bartlett: Why's that?

Amanda Shelton: One good sexual thought takes at least 20 minutes.

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Valderon: Man can do many things, but only God can create the truffle.

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Jonathan Bendel: Every time I looked down at my shoes, Henri was sticking his tongue out at me. Why do you think he was doing that?

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Jonathan Bendel: I don't know why I ever doubted you. I admire you. Just like my grandfather. Only, I don't hate you!

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Amanda Shelton: [trying to ask Tom out] Hi, Tom, it's Amanda. I just wanted to eat.

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Valderon: This is no knife!

Tom Bartlett: Hey, what the...

Valderon: I spit on your knife.

Tom Bartlett: Hey!

Valderon: I spit on your restaurant. And finally, I spit on...

Tom Bartlett: No, no. Allow me.

[spits on his own arm]

Tom Bartlett: There.

Valderon: That is the first intelligent thing you have done. I fire you!

Tom Bartlett: What you can't...

Valderon: Au revoir, Dickhead!

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Amanda Shelton: Taste this.

Nolan Traynor: Mmmm... It's good.

Amanda Shelton: You do know you can't lie? It sucks. Ugh! It tastes like blue cheese and dirt.

Nolan Traynor: And there's only one thing worse than blue cheese and dirt.

Amanda SheltonNolan Traynor: Rum raisin.

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Lois McNally: It's hot in here. I'm gonna open a window.

Tom Bartlett: Yeah. NO! She'll get in.

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Tom Bartlett: How did you get in here?

Amanda Shelton: The door.

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Chris: I just downloaded my schedule onto your computer.

Lois McNally: I hope you were using a condom.

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Chris: Tommy, what am I doing with someone like you?

Tom Bartlett: Me?

Chris: Me! With my perfect hair.

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Nolan Traynor: We gotta move to New Guinea or some place nobody knows us.

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Nolan Traynor: They all look dead.

Aunt Stella: No, no. I don't think they're dead at all. They're just in a trance.

Amanda Shelton: This is amazing.

Nolan Traynor: Did you say trance? So we can make them do whatever we want?

Aunt Stella: No, no. We couldn't, but she could.

Nolan Traynor: Amanda, you must make all the women love me and all the men give me their wallets.

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Chris: I have decided that you are a waste of my perfect wardrobe, with matching shoes.

Tom Bartlett: Nobody's that perfect.

Chris: [looks down at her chest] Oh, oh, I am.

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Amanda Shelton: She's on something.

Nolan Traynor: Your food.

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Amanda Shelton: Do all these elevators go to 4?

Tom Bartlett: Just pick one and press 4.

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Amanda Shelton: [giving Tom the eclairs he forgot] I love dessert. It's the whole point of the meal.

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See also

Trivia | Goofs | Crazy Credits | Alternate Versions | Connections | Soundtracks

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