Needs 5 Ratings

Made to Order (1979)

| Adult, Comedy, Sci-Fi
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Cast

Cast overview:
Kathy Kaufman ...
Shorter Clone - First Batch (as Connie Conasse)
...
Rosemary Cloney (as Alice Wray)
Eileen Welles ...
Dr. Goodlay (as Ellen Enculeur)
Phaedra Grant ...
Taller Clone - First Batch (as Priscilla Alden)
Mike Marvel ...
Dr. Frankensperm
Diamond N. DiRuff
Dale Cartermon ...
Singing Cowboy
Zachary Strong ...
Motorist (as Cecil Demure)
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Storyline

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Adult | Comedy | Sci-Fi

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Trivia

This film is half of Bucky Beaver's Dragon Art Theatre Triple XXX-Rated Double Feature Volume 102 (2006) DVD-R from Something Weird Video. See more »

Soundtracks

I Just Started Hatin' Cheatin' Songs Today
(uncredited)
Written by Moe Bandy
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User Reviews

 
Putrid attempt at XXX satire; stick with Mel Brooks
20 December 2010 | by (New York, New York) – See all my reviews

The untalented creeps behind the camera on MADE TO ORDER had delusions of a comedy sci-fi sex romp in the vein of YOUNG FRANKENSTEIN, but were they out to lunch. Result is a tedious, stupid porn time-killer.

The uncredited mad scientist (same actor played Francia's father in FAMILY FUN - 1978) sets the tone: he's a hammy, untalented jerk, balding but with a sizable dick, affecting a Mittel European accent as he proclaims his goal of creating a fabulous clone. His assistant, Eileen Welles (who has trouble reciting her lines in a monotone) sends two clone women Phaedra Grant and Kathy Kaufman to "collect sperm" for the scientist's big experiment.

Rest of the film is by-the-numbers sex footage of unattractive Kaufman and Grant getting guys to ejaculate. Resulting vial of white stuff is slobbered into the mouth of new improved clone Sharon Kane for a non-finish, wherein she seduces the mad doctor. Final reel is out of synch, which the moronic shill writing notes on the back of SWV's DVD-R box typically found hilarious, but which is merely incompetent.

Nothing interesting happens over the course of a very, very long hour, and there are no SPFX, no attempts whatsoever to back up the sci-fi premise. When it comes time, post-sperm ingestion, to re-animate Kane the scientist merely sticks out his arms and declares: "Let there be light" and she come to life. Even the usually reliable Kane, at the beginning of her career, is a drag.

This movie bites the big one. Something Weird paired it with an equally horrendous junker SUPERLADY, making for a thematically compatible but unwatchable double bill on Vol. 102 of its Dragon Art Theatre series.


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