Joan Devlon fans undoubtedly enjoy this extremely poorly made porn opus, courtesy of incompetent director Bob Kirk. If only she could have chosen her projects (and auteurs) more wisely.
It's not a bad idea -having Joan as a super spy, actually spoofing MAN FROM U.N.C.L.E. (or Stefanie Powers in GIRL FROM U.N.C.L.E?) in addition to 007. But Frisco-based uber-hack Kirk botches everything, seemingly on purpose.
Joan is introed in bed with a lunk as Monty Norman's James Bond theme plays on the soundtrack, first of its many pirated appearances. After sex a phone call gives her a new assignment, so Jane (Joan) jumps into her trusty Dodge Charger heading for the airport.
She's off to Hong Kong to see Madame Lee about a heroin-smuggling ring, hiding the dreaded powder in art objects headed for San Francisco. That's basically the film's entire plot, but what Kirk does with it is abominable.
First off, Frisco's Chinatown is thoroughly unconvincing standing in supposedly for Hong Kong, after some stock footage of a Pan Am takeoff. But then Kirk has the temerity to use black actors in all the Asian roles -why??? In 1975 there were plenty of Oriental actresses in porn for him to take his pick, but no, that would be too minimally competent for the Kirkster. I will concede that Asian male porn stars (Bob Chinn certainly doesn't count) were nearly nonexistent, except for a guy I saw in a Lisa Lipps video over a decade later, but female talent should have sufficed.
So besides the black woman dressed in a Suzie Wong outfit to play Madame Lee we have a black guy calling himself Sun Yee as the arch villain, AKA Sidney Greentree, in a lame attempt to invoke those great WB villains circa MALTESE FALCON. Jane's outfit is called A.U.N.T.I.E., and there's a white guy supposedly sent by U.N.C.L.E. (no copyright infringement possible in Pornoland) who looks like Viggo Mortensen with a big dick (no, I don't know the size of Viggo's actual package, just describing the creep on screen).
Second half of the mercifully short feature is devoted to an endless, poorly photographed (distant camera, occasionally zooming in to capture a money shot, but with no editing) orgy in which soporific muzak versions of many hoary standards are played: "People", "Who Can I Turn To?", "Tenderly", "The Wonder of You", "Please Release Me", "Love Is Blue", "Softly As I Leave You", Misty" and my personal favorite "Lazy Afternoon". I'm getting sleepy just reading this list.
Film ends back in Frisco in the opening water bed set with Jane's guy turning out to be a bad guy all along, which really pisses off Jane as she catches him in bed with a black girl named Annie. (Mixed combo is the name of the game in this movie.) She zaps him with a sound-effect-only ray gun (WTF??) before Monty Norman's theme crescendos and we're out of here.
After seeing half a dozen of Bob Kirk's Frisco quickies I can only conclude the filmmaker had severe brain damage. Little did he know that intrepid mercenaries at companies like Alpha Blue and Something Weird would unleash his substandard junk to a whole new generation several decades later. Had he known, perhaps he would have tried harder, or not.
It's not a bad idea -having Joan as a super spy, actually spoofing MAN FROM U.N.C.L.E. (or Stefanie Powers in GIRL FROM U.N.C.L.E?) in addition to 007. But Frisco-based uber-hack Kirk botches everything, seemingly on purpose.
Joan is introed in bed with a lunk as Monty Norman's James Bond theme plays on the soundtrack, first of its many pirated appearances. After sex a phone call gives her a new assignment, so Jane (Joan) jumps into her trusty Dodge Charger heading for the airport.
She's off to Hong Kong to see Madame Lee about a heroin-smuggling ring, hiding the dreaded powder in art objects headed for San Francisco. That's basically the film's entire plot, but what Kirk does with it is abominable.
First off, Frisco's Chinatown is thoroughly unconvincing standing in supposedly for Hong Kong, after some stock footage of a Pan Am takeoff. But then Kirk has the temerity to use black actors in all the Asian roles -why??? In 1975 there were plenty of Oriental actresses in porn for him to take his pick, but no, that would be too minimally competent for the Kirkster. I will concede that Asian male porn stars (Bob Chinn certainly doesn't count) were nearly nonexistent, except for a guy I saw in a Lisa Lipps video over a decade later, but female talent should have sufficed.
So besides the black woman dressed in a Suzie Wong outfit to play Madame Lee we have a black guy calling himself Sun Yee as the arch villain, AKA Sidney Greentree, in a lame attempt to invoke those great WB villains circa MALTESE FALCON. Jane's outfit is called A.U.N.T.I.E., and there's a white guy supposedly sent by U.N.C.L.E. (no copyright infringement possible in Pornoland) who looks like Viggo Mortensen with a big dick (no, I don't know the size of Viggo's actual package, just describing the creep on screen).
Second half of the mercifully short feature is devoted to an endless, poorly photographed (distant camera, occasionally zooming in to capture a money shot, but with no editing) orgy in which soporific muzak versions of many hoary standards are played: "People", "Who Can I Turn To?", "Tenderly", "The Wonder of You", "Please Release Me", "Love Is Blue", "Softly As I Leave You", Misty" and my personal favorite "Lazy Afternoon". I'm getting sleepy just reading this list.
Film ends back in Frisco in the opening water bed set with Jane's guy turning out to be a bad guy all along, which really pisses off Jane as she catches him in bed with a black girl named Annie. (Mixed combo is the name of the game in this movie.) She zaps him with a sound-effect-only ray gun (WTF??) before Monty Norman's theme crescendos and we're out of here.
After seeing half a dozen of Bob Kirk's Frisco quickies I can only conclude the filmmaker had severe brain damage. Little did he know that intrepid mercenaries at companies like Alpha Blue and Something Weird would unleash his substandard junk to a whole new generation several decades later. Had he known, perhaps he would have tried harder, or not.