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Armstrong (1998)

 -  Action | Drama  -  28 July 1998 (USA)
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Former Navy SEAL "Rod Armstrong" (Frank Zagarino) is now a freelance military trainer living in Moscow, Russia, who is unexpectedly visited by the man (Charles Napier) who trained him as a ... See full summary »

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Cast

Complete credited cast:
...
Susan Zorkin
Frank Zagarino ...
Rod Armstrong
...
Robert Zorkin
Joe Lara ...
Ponytail
Justin Carroll ...
Andrei Kastor (as Justin Carrol)
...
General Zukov
Igor Porshnev ...
Eric, Ponytail's henchman
Alexander Yutlev
Michaella Stoykova
Rest of cast listed alphabetically:
Menahem Golan ...
Russian President
Edit

Storyline

Former Navy SEAL "Rod Armstrong" (Frank Zagarino) is now a freelance military trainer living in Moscow, Russia, who is unexpectedly visited by the man (Charles Napier) who trained him as a SEAL. "Bob" (Napier) is accompanied to Moscow by his wife (Kimberly Kates), whom he also trained as a SEAL, for a vacation. However, "Bob" is there to recruit "Armstrong" to help in with a Special Ops mission from the President himself. "Bob" has brought a video tape with him which shows a Russian military base housing missiles with nuclear warheads that are being purchased on the Black Market. However, when "Bob" gets murdered, it's up to "Armstrong", "Susan" and a Russian soldier to bring those responsible to justice. Written by IvanWong

Plot Summary | Add Synopsis

Taglines:

The Cold War Was Just Heated Up.

Genres:

Action | Drama

Motion Picture Rating (MPAA)

Rated R for violence, sexuality and language | See all certifications »
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Details

Country:

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Release Date:

28 July 1998 (USA)  »

Also Known As:

Amenaza nuclear  »

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Did You Know?

Trivia

Director's Cameo: Menahem Golan plays the president of Russia. See more »

Goofs

During the chase scene Susan is clearly wearing a pair of black panties despite never having put on a pair in the previous scene. See more »

Quotes

Rod Armstrong: Where's Susan?
Lt. Yuri: [Speaks Russian]
Rod Armstrong: Speak English!
Lt. Yuri: No speak English good.
Rod Armstrong: Then speak English bad! Where's the girl?
Lt. Yuri: Girl? No understand.
Rod Armstrong: [Speaks Russian]
Lt. Yuri: They kill me if I talk!
Rod Armstrong: I kill you if you don't!
See more »

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User Reviews

 
Rod Vs. Ponytail!
30 December 2010 | by (United States Minor Outlying Islands) – See all my reviews

Charles Napier plays Robert Zorkin, a man who travels to Russia with his wife Susan (Kates), supposedly for a vacation. But it turns out he has a VHS tape that shows the Russians dealing in nuclear warheads with the mob. It seems Zorkin was the mentor to one "Rod Armstrong" (Zagarino). Armstrong is an ex-Navy SEAL who now trains people in Russia and is "very expensive". Joe Lara, appropriately enough, plays "Ponytail", the head of the gangsters who is menacing everyone in sight, not the least of which is Susan, who he chases all over Russia. Richard Lynch is the Russian General Zukov, who is a major part of the insanity. Will Rod Armstrong be able to stop the gangsters and evil Russians from stealing the nukes and perhaps launching them, and save the kidnapped Susan in the process? I know action movies don't have to be intelligent, but Armstrong is just so dumb it's really unbelievable. Zagarino usually brings the dumb, and here is no exception. In fact, if anything, he's outdone himself in the dumb department. He's beyond wooden. Rod Armstrong is stupid, unlikable, arrogant and annoying, and he usually has some sort of "shirt problem". Either his shirt is ripped, comes off, becomes unbuttoned, or he just plain forgets to wear one. It seems the filmmakers wanted very badly for him to be Dolph Lundgren, as his hair, makeup, and what's left of his outfits strongly recall Dolph. But Zagarino is not Dolph. Not by a long shot. Also he has numerous pictures of himself on his wall. Armstrong makes Project: Shadowchaser (1992) look like a masterpiece.

One of the better things about Armstrong is its cast of familiar faces. Joe Lara goes over the top as Ponytail, but his unfinished beard really left a sense of incompleteness in the viewer's hearts. He resembles a mid-90's Dennis Miller. We liked him better as the good guy in such films as American Cyborg: Steel Warrior (1993) and Hologram Man (1995). Napier gets slightly more screen time here than in Center of the Web (1992), and he even gets to do some "Napier-Fu", but the extreme sweatiness is unpleasant. Kimberley Kates was a great choice for the eye candy, and Richard Lynch proves he's the most versatile guy in DTV cinema, here living it up as a drunken, carousing Russian military general, the next day playing an Italian gangster with aplomb.

But sadly, try as they might, even the mightiest DTV cast cannot overcome the inanity of Armstrong. Whoever wrote the dialogue, you'd think they would be satisfied by the fact that is completely mind-numbing, but no, it's incredibly repetitive too! Many things are said more than once. I don't know which is worse, if it was unintentional, or if they were so proud of their great writing, the writer thought we should hear it multiple times. Or they could have assumed their audience is just stupid. Big mistake. The dialogue alone detracts major points from Armstrong.

Because of the dialogue and dumbness, not to mention how irritating Rod Armstrong is, almost in a Sloane (1984) sort of way, you really don't care about the characters and situations. Add to that a jumbled and unclear plot and you have a serious mess on your hands. Perhaps the ultimate "turn off your brain" movie, unless you are a die hard fan of any of the actors here or DTV movies themselves, it might be wise to steer clear of Armstrong.

For more insanity, please visit: comeuppancereviews.com


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