There was absolutely no freakin plot to this movie! It kinda had to do with some chalkey who was a DJ at a rave I think... Any way, this movie sucks. I rented it from the video store because shannon elizabeth got naked in American Pie and Dish Dogs... so I assumed she would be getting naked in this. AND SHE DOESNT!!!!! For god sake, i had to watch half this crap on fast forward. And the people have the nerve to use Shannon Elizabeth lookin fine on the cover of the box to sell this crap, and she isnt even in it much! DO NOT SEE THIS MOVIE, IT IS CRAP. 1/10 only gets the one because shannon elizabeth is in it.
20 Reviews
You don't know what the worst is...
jamesjam-217 August 2006
Many of the comments for this film (too many) are extremely negative, often tossing it into the "worst film ever made" category. These reviewers simply do not know what the worst is. Blissfully they never will. As a veteran of the Hollywood wars, I know the original producing organization (Shower Productions) too well. As LA producers go they are no worse than the middle of a vast pack who are largely unknown to film goers. "Seamless" was the best film they managed to produce. I will spare you gory details and just say that their other films never have never seen the light of day, and never will beyond "undiscriminating" markets in unnamed foreign countries that I hope I will never visit. Is "Seamless" a good film? No. Is it the "worst film ever made?" It is far, far from that. To that end, despite working conditions that cannot be described here, the director and DP of this film deserve credit for delivering a film that can actually placed into the Harm's way of commercial movies.
Repackaging fails to save another movie
xhancock19 June 2003
"Kidz Rule," or "Seamless" as it was packaged at Video Hits Plus in Kalamazoo, is a horrible movie. The tragedy is that Shannon Elizabeth (of American Pie infamy) is the best actor in the cast. The protagonist, J.B. (Kentaro Seagal) reads lines like that kid behind you in High School who clearly hadn't made it past the 3rd grade reading level before Junior High. Not that he doesn't get everything one of those guys would have wanted in a throw-away love scene with Miss Elizabeth.
However, there is no nudity in this movie, and that really doesn't help the situation. With a movie like this, I'm surprised the director didn't ask for more skin when he realized what he was working with. There's plenty of sexuality without nudity, though - including one anxiety-ridden, stressed-out teenager who ends up trading sex for money.
One more thing I should mention is the character of Elmo, played by Broc Benedict. Truly heartbreaking in his over-acting, Broc is probably the most proficient actor after Shannon Elizabeth. If you think you've seen him before, you may have - he played the younger version of Eric Foreman in flashbacks on "That 70s Show."
I gave this a 2 out of 10. If you and your friends go to the video store and you see this on the shelf, you see Shannon Elizabeth staring at you with those "undress me" eyes, remember this review and put the movie back down. If you're that desperate for her, go watch American Pie again.
However, there is no nudity in this movie, and that really doesn't help the situation. With a movie like this, I'm surprised the director didn't ask for more skin when he realized what he was working with. There's plenty of sexuality without nudity, though - including one anxiety-ridden, stressed-out teenager who ends up trading sex for money.
One more thing I should mention is the character of Elmo, played by Broc Benedict. Truly heartbreaking in his over-acting, Broc is probably the most proficient actor after Shannon Elizabeth. If you think you've seen him before, you may have - he played the younger version of Eric Foreman in flashbacks on "That 70s Show."
I gave this a 2 out of 10. If you and your friends go to the video store and you see this on the shelf, you see Shannon Elizabeth staring at you with those "undress me" eyes, remember this review and put the movie back down. If you're that desperate for her, go watch American Pie again.
The worst movie ever!
ducatigurl18 November 2004
I usually like films that are a bit wild and "different." For example, I LOVE most indie films that I see. I am all for the off-beat and quirky. I saw this movie on the shelves at my local video store and jumped at the chance to go back to my old school days of "ravin' it up." UGH...this movie was so far off point, it was not even remotely funny. The acting was atrocious and the all the clubbers looked like the too-colorful looking characters from a bad Dr. Seuss book. Like I said before, I try and keep an open mind about all movies. But this is one movie that I regret ever getting. I was almost tempted to go back to the video store and demand a refund. Please, if anyone out there is even thinking about renting or watching this, DO NOT...your time and money are WAY too valuable!!!!!
As to my comments ? Read my disgust.
Carpman18 October 2004
This movie was so badly over-acted by virtually all of the actors that it was a challenge just to sit and watch this whole hour and forty minutes of crap, just to see if anything was going to happen. And it certainly was shamefully promoted with enticements of seeing Shannon Elizabeth as you saw her in American Pie. Even the cover of the DVD box had her name in large letters standing out on the top of the box, with the name of the movie almost hidden in the background. Were the producers also ashamed of this waste of time and money ?? If you see this video on sale for 99 cents, buy a coffee instead, even if you don't drink coffee. This was garbage pure and simple. 1 out of 10 stars, simply for the closing music over the credits.
Ow. Ow. Ow. Ow. This one hurt.
Lactose12317 July 2001
I would like to consider myself a connoisseur of bad movies. I have witnessed some of the most unbearable atrocities ever put to film. Plan 9 From Outer-space. Red Zone Cuba. Batman and Robin. Surf Nazis Must Die. Sizzle Beach. These movies strike fear into the hearts of men, and cause small children to weep. Seamless is of this caliber. It's truly wonderful in its awful-ness. The acting of the `star' of the film Kentaro Seagal, is on par with Tor Johnson's stirring performance from Plan 9. The soundtrack is as miss-matched as Queen's epic opus from Flash Gordon. The dialog was as easy to follow as a David Lynch movie. There was no flow to the movie with scenes seemingly taken from random movies and placed into an order that made vague sense, with the transition from one to another being as easy to watch as extended footage of the psycho kid from down the street torturing small animals. I find it ironic that this movies is called Seamless. Seamless would indicate flow and continuity. Considering you are made painfully aware each time the camera shifts from one character to the next (or one location to the next) I would hardly call this travesty Seamless. Only two types of people will enjoy this film: those who've eaten lead paint chips as children and those who can appreciate an awful movie for its complete lack of quality. View at your own risk.
Seamless...Shameless...Pointless...
axeman_6920 October 2007
That was one of the most painful 90 minutes of my life! I would rather give blood than watch that movie again! There was absolutely no point! I feel violated! There was no plot. The entire movie was merely a series of quazi-related clips edited to convince Artista that the production was finished so they could finally stop shooting, ending everyone's misery. The directing, wardrobe and cinematography were almost cartoonish. I got the feeling throughout the movie that I was watching a Saturday morning kid show (and not a good one). The acting was horrific! The acting was on par with a 3rd grade play. I haven't heard that much monotone dialog since seeing a Steven Wright comedy show! The saddest thing is that Shannon Elizabeth is by far the best actor in the movie and she was about as good as you'd expect her to be.
After suffering through about 30 minutes of this epic, it was clear that the only thing that could give some dignity to this disaster would some gratuitous nudity as you'd expect from a Shannon Elizabeth movie. They didn't even come through on that.
Bad, bad, bad, bad movie. Rent American Pie instead.
After suffering through about 30 minutes of this epic, it was clear that the only thing that could give some dignity to this disaster would some gratuitous nudity as you'd expect from a Shannon Elizabeth movie. They didn't even come through on that.
Bad, bad, bad, bad movie. Rent American Pie instead.
I've seen worse...
spitbucket27 January 2002
This movie has been the target of criticism here for its many flaws. Notwithstanding, I have seen many films that have less going for them. The deranged club partner plays his role in interesting fashion, though perhaps a bit over-zealously, and Broc Benedict exudes a certain charming pathos as Elmo, often stealing the show from the older actors.
If movies are going to portray fashion designers as junkies they might as well do it right.
gqsexual14 February 2001
All I can say about this movie is what a waste of my time and a loss of 2 dollars out of my wallet for renting this movie. I can imagine this movie would have been good if they had some talent that people heard of but all it did was take a name like Shannon Elizabeth (before she became popular i.e American Pie)and re-sell the movie as if it was a new release even though the movie was made in 1998(wow has it been that long). The movie is about Shannon Elizabeth who is a fashion (that is if you call it fashion)designer for a GEN X grunge thrift boutique shop and gets caught up with a fellow boutique owner who runs raves during it's off hours and has a bunch of L.A homeless kids mooching off of him. Well no less the fact that the movie has no premise or any kind of plot and makes me feel like I was watching another movie based on this kind of story called Where The Day Takes You. The writer of this movie tries to throw in a suspence twist with the character Raven using Shannon Elizabeth's boutique shop to run drugs through it's shipping distributor and having not any idea of what is going on, even I saw this one coming for a mile away. To sum it all up this movie gets a 1 out of a possible 10 just for seeing Shannon Elizabeth getting it on with the character JB in the movie. So save your money and do something productive with it rather then waste it on this movie or just wait for it to come onto cable.
Pretty bad... but an intriguing watch.
willman8514 August 2018
The DVD box says it's Trainspotting meets Beverly Hills 90210. I'd say it was more Human Traffic meets Hackers meets Requiem for a Dream.
I was drawn to this film by its title - BUT its title in the UK, which is "American Chav's". Aside from the jarring use of the possessive apostrophe, there is the complete butchering of the use of the word 'chav'. Chavs are a uniquely British phenomenon. 'Chav' (n.) is a word used to the describe a British "underclass". Fake Burberry cap wearing, white cider drinking yobs who engage in the modding and doing-up of cars that REALLY shouldn't be done up. There cannot be American chavs. It is a technical impossibility. The two words do not - and can not - go together.
But what I find most offensive is Kentaro Seagal's diction. He either has a weird accent, or he's disabled. His voice is very quiet and mumbly. And that's the lead he plays. As for everyone else, it's this strange juxtaposition of hammy acting and good acting. This creates an inconsistent feel, which I feel is worse than if all the acting were hammy.
Some of the criticisms have been about how the film was way off the mark with the fashions and music. However, while this is so, I do think there is at least SOME good music in it regardless. And THAT'S A BIG THING for me to say coming from someone who holds as dear to his heart dance/rave/drug culture as I do. At the very least it's evocative of what it's trying to portray. And with the fashions... I suppose some of it is cool. Mostly not though.
It is not a great film by any means, but it was much better than I thought it'd be. It does feel a bit of a lumber-through sometimes, but I've seen way worse films, films that I couldn't even get through at all. The story doesn't really grip you, but it's interesting nonetheless. The moral lesson is confused, and the acting of the protagonist by Kentaro completely ruins the film - but it's not totally without worth in my opinion. The visual direction actually can be pretty cool. Overall the film is pretty cringey how seriously it takes itself, so there is a little bit of enjoyment factor there - however it hasn't got a very compelling plot... Basically there is betrayal on the good guy, there's arguments and fighting, and gratuitous scenes of clubbing, fashion design, petty crime, drug-taking, and Shannon Elizabeth still in her clothes. So I guess it is a bit like The Room in one or two respects, but that is a generous comparison. The worst thing is the dreadful title - both the original and UK title - but "Seamless: Kidz Rule" is probably a little worse as it's so detrimentally clunky. With the subtitle it's cumbersome; without it, it's just confusing.
In summary, it's an intriguing watch if you feel nostalgic for your carefree 20s full of intoxicants, hot girls of a somewhat loose nature, parties, and raving like a loon, before the scene changed/you got a new serious relationship/your friendship group broke apart/whatever.
I was drawn to this film by its title - BUT its title in the UK, which is "American Chav's". Aside from the jarring use of the possessive apostrophe, there is the complete butchering of the use of the word 'chav'. Chavs are a uniquely British phenomenon. 'Chav' (n.) is a word used to the describe a British "underclass". Fake Burberry cap wearing, white cider drinking yobs who engage in the modding and doing-up of cars that REALLY shouldn't be done up. There cannot be American chavs. It is a technical impossibility. The two words do not - and can not - go together.
But what I find most offensive is Kentaro Seagal's diction. He either has a weird accent, or he's disabled. His voice is very quiet and mumbly. And that's the lead he plays. As for everyone else, it's this strange juxtaposition of hammy acting and good acting. This creates an inconsistent feel, which I feel is worse than if all the acting were hammy.
Some of the criticisms have been about how the film was way off the mark with the fashions and music. However, while this is so, I do think there is at least SOME good music in it regardless. And THAT'S A BIG THING for me to say coming from someone who holds as dear to his heart dance/rave/drug culture as I do. At the very least it's evocative of what it's trying to portray. And with the fashions... I suppose some of it is cool. Mostly not though.
It is not a great film by any means, but it was much better than I thought it'd be. It does feel a bit of a lumber-through sometimes, but I've seen way worse films, films that I couldn't even get through at all. The story doesn't really grip you, but it's interesting nonetheless. The moral lesson is confused, and the acting of the protagonist by Kentaro completely ruins the film - but it's not totally without worth in my opinion. The visual direction actually can be pretty cool. Overall the film is pretty cringey how seriously it takes itself, so there is a little bit of enjoyment factor there - however it hasn't got a very compelling plot... Basically there is betrayal on the good guy, there's arguments and fighting, and gratuitous scenes of clubbing, fashion design, petty crime, drug-taking, and Shannon Elizabeth still in her clothes. So I guess it is a bit like The Room in one or two respects, but that is a generous comparison. The worst thing is the dreadful title - both the original and UK title - but "Seamless: Kidz Rule" is probably a little worse as it's so detrimentally clunky. With the subtitle it's cumbersome; without it, it's just confusing.
In summary, it's an intriguing watch if you feel nostalgic for your carefree 20s full of intoxicants, hot girls of a somewhat loose nature, parties, and raving like a loon, before the scene changed/you got a new serious relationship/your friendship group broke apart/whatever.
worst
JustinDahl1 November 2005
This was by far one of the worst!!! movies I have ever seen...a complete waste of time! The acting was unbelievably bad.... plot had more holes in it than swiss cheese... shannon elizabeth had no idea what she was doing... and this movie is a total insult to the Dj world... music was atrocious and they completely lost sight of what a Dj is all about and the importance of what they do... the lines by the character JB (meant to be profound and deep) had me laughing at how hysterical of an actor this guy is...what a joke...even worse still was the gay character in the film, he was an even worse actor than the guy who played JB, missed his cues all the time and even looked at the camera once...which of course they neglected to edit out...
Not really a 10, but not a 3 either.
epppie4 February 2008
Warning: Spoilers
Some movies have a lot of B qualities, but are still interesting or even fascinating movies. Johnny Mnemonic, for example. Groove. Seamless is one of those. It certainly deals in its share of ridiculous clichés. But it also has some very touching moments that have to do with the search for family amongst those at loss for family. Anyone looking for a true articulation of Rave culture is looking in the wrong place with this movie, which only tangentially touches on that. It's a fantasy, not a realistic movie, though it has elements of realism. The real weak point in the movie is, perhaps surprisingly, Shannon Elizabeth's performance. The romance between her and the lead character is very weak, even though it plays a central role in motivating the ultimate tragic outcome.
Don't Spank the Monkey
joolzjayd19 August 2006
I found "Seamless" to be a difficult but rewarding film. As a paid entertainment critic in another life, it is a hobby of mine to scan IMDb trolling for the more amateur reviews. Gems like this flick are my reward. It is my educated guess the reviewers that panned this film so vehemently did so because of the film's greatest flaw...Shannon Elizabeth was cast in the lead. Little wonder that the crowd looking for a cheap date while they spank the monkey, missed the complexities of this homage to German structuralism. In this sad time, when a presidential corporate regime treats science as civil litigation, paying and then legitimizing the most marginal of experts with their PR think tanks, viewing a film like "Seamless" gives me hope. The director strikes a delicate, sweet note, a stark contrast to the stew of corporate regurgitated idiot food like "American Pie". There can be rewards watching a film that fails to respond to the manipulation of Corporate Demons.
Honestly the worst movie I've ever seen
leb342 January 2006
Sometimes, my brother and I get into little arguments. When he recommended a restaurant I thought sounded unappealing, I asked, "Why should we trust your judgment?" He countered by asking me for a specific instance in which his judgment was wholly at fault. I told him, "You rented the movie Seamless." Folks, this movie wins every time when the "What's the absolute worst movie you've seen?" question gets asked. My brother picked it because Shannon Elizabeth (who I don't even find very attractive) is centered on the cover. The fact is, Shannon Elizabeth can't act. A "good" Shannon Elizabeth role constitutes her getting naked. She doesn't even fulfill that requirement in Seamless.
What's the point? I win, brother.
What's the point? I win, brother.
A bad review of a bad film
kingadrock2126 November 2001
This is a terrible movie about the "rave" and "fashion" culture scene. The reason I put "rave" and "fashion" in quotes is because this movie does little or nothing at all to show these cultures. It is very unrealistic, very poorly scripted, and you would have a better shot of portraying a rave by watching old 90210 re-runs, you know where David helped turn the 'Peach Pit' into an after hours club. This was obviously a film school project gone corporate. Shannon Elizabeth can thankfully act, which was the saving grace for this film. The main character and his side-kick friend have a pseudo-clothing shop where they decide to have raves at night to strum up business. And of course there is the typical drug scenario with some weird homeless kids and, well it actually get very confusing. While the main character is very robotic in his attempts to portray a shop owner, his side-kick (Peter Alexander) has some believable scenes. All in all this movie is very bad. A quick hint: Look at the movies the box recommends you would like by renting Seamless, and rent those instead.----D
Shockingly bad film that ended Kentaro Seagal's career
popdirt1 November 2002
One of the worst movies I have ever seen. Not only is the plot non-existent, but the acting is horrendous. Kentaro Seagal is an acting train wreck, and this film is evidence why he's only done one film since then. It's a scary thought to think that Shannon Elizabeth is the most talented actress on this cast. I think whoever wrote this film should be required to consume the tree-sap prominently featured for the rest of his life.
Sucks!
pyro46t98 July 2001
This is one of the awful movies I have ever seen. This is 1 1/2 hours I will never be able to get back of my life. If there was ever a need for a 0 on the options to vote, this movie would get a 0. Don't waste your time with this movie, you will feel dumber by watching this horrible movie.
A well directed movie and visually cool!
bilbur3 August 2006
This is a cool movie and great to look at!! We dig this film--a cult hit!! It's about the rave scene with such a quirky story. A fashion guru pretends to dope his friends with an Ecstasy type drug when in reality it's the power of persuasion that gets them high. What a great concept! I read that it was a Japanese production and script. The American director didn't have much to work with (under $200,000 US) but she did an excellent job. The young actors were wonderful and believable and it looks great! The DVD commentary with the Director and DP is hilarious. The costumes are creative and the music is very cool. Still waiting for a soundtrack to be released! Even though this is not an independent film and was a job for hire, it's a quirky and original film.
seamingly retarded
primalbreakz1 December 2004
i also rented this cuz shannon elizabeth was on the cover, which was an impulse decision i made cuz the film looked stupid anyway. its worse than stupid though, it doesn't make sense, and i fell asleep through it. it says its about some kind of rave scene in LA, which its not. watch a movie like 'Go' or 'Groove' if thats what you're looking for. All the characters were stupid and the drug scene doesn't make sense. The film is really just a nightmare. I don't know who made this or how it got made, and why. What the hell was Shannon Elizabeth doing in this movie anyway? The same year, she made 'American Pie', which catapulted her to some Hollywood success. I'm sure that even Shannon is ashamed of this awful film. 'Seamless' is meaningless. Beware. 0/10
If I wanted to see Amber, I'd have rented Jurassic Park
Bigjplur22 December 2001
This movie was bad. We knew it when we rented it, it was re-enforced after watching the piece of crap. We saw the cover at the movie store, looked and saw "Rave" on the back of it, then had to see how bad they messed up their rave interpretations. I could tell you if they actually had raves in it. The 5 minutes of raver montage at the beginning was useless, but that could never out do the biggest laugh of the film. The idiot street kids lick AMBER!!! to get messed up. Yeah, that's right, fossilized friggin tree sap!!! I guess all of the drug dealers on earth are missing an open market. Overblown drug related effects, terrible acting, and enough happy happy joy joy love talk to make a self-help counseler vomit, I have to give this movie a negative 30 rating. Save the three bucks on the rental and buy a crack rock, at least you know beforehand you'll lose braincells.
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